There was a hair in my buffalo mozzarella
It's that season, and (water-)buffalo mozz is available for only 4× what the regular stuff costs. The difference is a bit of tang which is lost if you dare put any basil paste, balsamic (white or regular) or pretty much anything else on it.
The difference between the cheap shit from Aldi and the expensive stuff from Italian gourmet shops run by PhD-Chem virgins who studied for 20 years in the Japanese style is the difference between Exxon and Shell 93 octane gasoline/petrol.
Also, any fucking TV series wannabe who calls the cheese "mootz" or "mootsaRella" can die in a fire that I have NSA double-secret probationary clearance to set.
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