Dear Wife and I were getting divorced. We lived in a big old house full of junk & everything was falling apart. I was going to marry somebody else. My new fiancee was there and reasonably affectionate to me, but I did not know who she was. (Now that I think about it, she kind of resembled iGrrl.) I was very sad about getting divorced, but my wife seemed happy. I told her that we should try reconciliation. Dear Wife said, "it's too late. Don't worry about it. Go have fun." I started crying.
Some more classic Freudian stuff follows.
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A vodka bottle gave you those raccoon eyes.
