Print Story A Day in the Life -- Wizard needs ninja skillz, badly.
By ReallyEvilCanine (Wed Jun 09, 2010 at 10:42:29 AM EST) cow-orkers, weapons, codepage, Unicode, ASCII, stupid (all tags)

Please remember that Section 4c of the $MegaCorp employment contract specifically prohibits bringing weapons or objects which could be used as a weapon onto any $MegaCorp premises at any time. For further information on $MegaCorp policies concerning weapons and employee safety please click here.

Technically I'm banned from the office because I'd be happy to beat quite a few of my cow-orkers senseless with my laptop and strangle them with a USB cable.

Poll: Ginger
x-posted to da brog.

(13 comments, 359 words in story) Full Story

Print Story A Day in the Life
Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Fri Apr 13, 2007 at 03:34:49 AM EST) A Day in the Life, Chinese Whispers, Unicode, AIX monkeys, pie (all tags)
Hooptiously Drangle Me

Dragging my ass into the office today after another night of insomnia that a full bottle of vodka couldn't help, I was in no condition to take any of the 30-odd tickets in the queue. I finally managed to get some of our internal applications loaded and they suck as much as the ones they replaced... and in some cases, more.

Mail time: Junk, junk, stupid notice, junk, dumb question, 14 dumber replies-to-all, unplanned California outage notice which doesn't affect me, junk, stupid mail joke from 1996, notice of customer update, notice of California service restoration, Premium Assistance Nomination, junk, more sales department info none of us give a shit about, ju...

x-posted to da brog.

(11 comments, 1131 words in story) Full Story

Print Story A Day in the Life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Jan 11, 2007 at 03:40:05 AM EST) A Day in the Life, cubicle, WTF, fonts, Arial, Unicode, pie (all tags)
$CompCorp Update: Narrowing Down the Suspects

Some time back I figured out what $CompCorp's creative admin had done and told them the solution, which required $$$Custom$$$ $$$Programming$$$ $$$Group$$$ because of the mess they'd made of their database. They got lucky: I had an idea which I passed on to $$$CPG$$$ to pull a little switcheroo on the database and make it think it was in Arabic all along so that the data could be correctly migrated. Setting this up took a couple hours but saved days of scripting and testing, which in turn saved $CompCorp thousands in custom programming charges and tens of thousands in lost time.

$CompCorp was happy to get a quick and cheaper fix, upper management gave me a tip of the hat for it, but no good deed goes unpunished. Upper Upper Management saw my solution as an "unconsidered revenue-reduction activity" and "detrimental to support division future earnings projections" which they told Upper Management. Shit runs downhill.

x-posted to da brog, sans typeface poll.

(8 comments, 590 words in story) Full Story

Print Story A Day in the Life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Jul 20, 2006 at 03:38:03 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, Unicode, Swearing in Arabic, pie (all tags)
åÐÇ ãäíß

There are worse things than the 17s I deal with on a daily basis. Like Clever admins. Creative admins. Clever and creative admins who, like me, do whatever the hell they have to in order to get a system up and running. Mark from $CompCorp is one such admin; his cleverness resulted in what appeared to be a complete database corruption.

Luckily it was caught in user acceptance testing on a copy of the working database.

x-posted to the blog, sans poll.

(4 comments, 769 words in story) Full Story

Print Story We're gonna turn it on!
By riceowlguy (Wed Feb 15, 2006 at 08:27:57 AM EST) DVD, Perl, Unicode (all tags)
We're gonna bring you the power!

(10 comments, 102 words in story) Full Story