Print Story Ennui Is The Wrong Word
By atreides (Sun Sep 17, 2023 at 12:43:59 PM EST) (all tags)
That infers that I'm bored or not busy. I only wish I had more time on my hands. But, let us be honest with ourselves: I'd only waste it again.

For those who follow me more closely, you will note that my recent exhortation to the Emperor also means that my birthday has just passed. Ladies and Gentlemen (or however you identify; I don't mean to be gender exclusive), your beloved Satrap is now fifty. I'm getting old, folks.

Work is work. Funny story: I was laid off my job at the end of July. I knew it was coming, but I was in a little denial about it for a few reasons. Three weeks later, I was working for a different department of the same company with a significant (though not substantial) raise. But I miss my old department. I rarely worked past 4PM, and had enough time on my hands to basically get paid for doing a lot of non-work related things. I still never talk about work because that is literally the least interesting thing about me.

I still cache. I just hit cache 7000 and am still running a daily streak at 1910+ days. I said I was officially giving up the streak after four years. Being beyond five has proven that to be a lie. The site is still kicking along. I have even got a Patreon supporter (someone I don't know!) so there's that. Considering self-promotion feels like whoring myself to the world, that's a pretty big deal to me.

The Duchess and the Despoina are giants in the playground. They're also a little too old for playgrounds. The Despoina is a viola playing sophomore now who wants to be a baker and open a shop. She has also relatively recently declared her membership in the Sapphic Legions, so good for her. The Duchess is on the verge of being a teenager, a clarinet playing anime nerd who complains about the members of her volleyball team and is annoyed that she is so good at math.

My heart is a gaping wound. It has been for a long time. It is not an acute pain, as it once was. This is what I imagine living with a chronic condition is like. I walk in the world just like everyone else and nobody suspects that my chest cavity sorely throbs. No, it's not physical (the doctor would have noticed) and it's probably not psychological (though I haven't been to a therapist in years). I have learned to exist with it, but I haven't learned to live with it.

In a couple of weeks, I'm taking a trip with some friends to the Northeast. Baltimore, Philadelphia, Hackensack, Providence, Quebec, Portland, Boston, and many points in-between. Eighty-five (ish) counties in eight days. I have reached out to a few of you to see about some small communion, but I only have a little bit of time and I'll have to come back eventually so I'll reach out to more when I return.

So, I've compiled my writings about Texas into a book. I need to make more edits before I hand it over to my editor for proofreading. I only have a month and a half before that, so I need to get cracking. Unfortunately, I have a lot of stuff to do in that month and a half that is not edit related. However, once I am officially a published author, I shall trumpet it to the heavens. I will whore myself for books.

I better call it for the day. I need to get the Girls back to their mother, I need to write some stuff for the site, and I need to steel myself for work tomorrow. I'd say pray for my immortal soul if I believed in such things.

I bid thee go forth and prosper with minimal inconvenience.


< To The Emperor! | I mean I guess I shouldn't be surprised but... >
Ennui Is The Wrong Word | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden)
“annoyed that she is so good at math” by R343L (2.00 / 0) #1 Sun Sep 17, 2023 at 02:32:29 PM EST
Good for her! Also: gah, time, what is it!  They were little toddlers not long ago.

Glad you find things to engage and inspire even through the gaping wound.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

Fuck dude by hulver (4.00 / 1) #2 Mon Sep 18, 2023 at 11:45:47 AM EST
You're old.

As are we all.

Here's to gettin' older.

Good to hear from you.
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

Pfft. by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #5 Fri Sep 22, 2023 at 06:39:02 PM EST
50 isn't old. Just wait till you're 58!

58! Now that's... getting old. 

[ Parent ]
You kids get off my lawn. by ana (4.00 / 2) #6 Fri Sep 22, 2023 at 06:53:03 PM EST

Time is too strange now for a real plot. --clock

[ Parent ]
Okay, okay… by ObviousTroll (4.00 / 1) #7 Sat Sep 23, 2023 at 09:47:36 AM EST
Hold your horses, I’m hobbling as fast as I can… 

[ Parent ]
My Dude. by clock (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Sep 19, 2023 at 07:56:16 AM EST
Yeah. 50 was...a thing. Still is. For a couple more months anyway.

The kids getting older is a kick in the ass! Sounds like they're doing well.

I'm excited about the book, m'dude! Scream from the heavens on release!!!

And hey, you're good people. Not everyone can say that.

I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

is it a geocaching trip? by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Sep 20, 2023 at 08:33:45 AM EST
and if so, how far outside of Philly will you be caching?
I'm not in that part of the country anymore but I do have some favorite caches from when I did live there.

Ennui Is The Wrong Word | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden)