I finally found the obituary on Friday, the day of the funeral, and it stated that he died "with his family by his side."
So that means the death was not sudden. They knew and no one told LO. It was deliberate.
I sent funeral flowers to be delivered to the house on Saturday. The flowers were signed by me and LO. I'm sure a few of the siblings were around that day.
I'm glad that LO was with people who love her (her boyfriend's family and friends) this past week, she deserved that at least.
And man, am I ever sick of this 18+ years (well, now nearly 30 years) of abuse. And I am so so angry for LO.