well hello there
i tried to connect with the husi beers today. i had brief and intermittent internet and router problems, but this was enough that my mental illness prevented me from joining late, once i was back online.
i have joined a dungeons and dragons campaign, with my dear ol' Mx as the DM, it usually runs in the same time as the zoomhusibeers which is a nerd  problem i never imagined having to cope with, pre-pandemic.

anyway, back to my life, since last i checked in.
i am not sure when that last was, so i'll just cover the major plot points.
a highschool friend swore she'd never bail her adult daughter out of trouble ever again. then contacted me after nearly a decade to ask if i knew anyone who might adopt some rabbits or a cat. as a favour, because her kid was in trouble with her landlord for (among other things) having more than 6 units pet in a one bedroom apartment.
I adopted a rabbit, Princess Buttons the netherlands dwarf, she was the best pet I had ever had. house rabbit, quiet and soft, ate literally all my kitchen scraps and all the weeds i brought home from work. no trouble, minimal chewing of things, she mostly just prevented me from leaving clothes on the floor. very feisty, fought off several cats and raccoons. reliable.
i ended up homeless for 9 months. i was gainfully employed full time, and had savings sufficient to cover first and last deposit etc... i just wanted to live in a not horrible, non vermin infested, not currently underwater, close to downtown, room or couple of rooms, where i felt mostly confident i was unlikely to get murdered.
recently saw data indicating that someone would have to make 28$ an hour in toronto to afford an apartment, i continue to make $25.
now housed, 2 years in the attic of a victorian 3 story in the annex, 4 roommates, employed as a landscaper and part time horticulturist consultant, with rabbit, life was good.
then the whole global pandemic thing.
wherein i am so unaccountably grateful to know all of you... you are among my closest friends yet, we never have seen each other regularly. i just know you are there. here. online. wherever. but that never changed. it was a constant in uncertain times.

buttons died very suddenly june 9. five years old, so neither young nor old for a house rabbit. i woke up, thought something might be wrong, got concerned, made a vet appointment for the next morning, went to work, she was dead by 11:30AM.
i was and am completely gutted by the loss.
life, such as it is, goes on.

i have all summer noticed a sort of buzzing rumbling noise, and wondered what is was, then looked around, considering nearby construction, scanned over head and seeing nothing, tried to figure out what was going on. after about 30 - 60 seconds, the noise increases, and then definitely comes from the sky. with nearly no air traffic, other than cargo and helicopters, any plane is an anomaly. i caught a glimpse of it, four engines. prop engines. a sort of turned up tail.
"weird, that looks like a Lancaster"
but then it was behind a tree or building. but it kept appearing. once or twice i week, the "that looks like a lancaster" buzzed the city.

one day, i noticed a strange plane approaching. it looked like it was flying unreasonably low, then as it got closer, looked like it was at an ordinary height but was at least 5 times the size of any possible airplane. it was late may, and still nearly no commercial air traffic. i was very curious what sort of atmospheric or weather conditions were distorting the ordinary plane's appearance. but when i looked at weather patterns or weird phenomena, nothing. then, days later, someone linked to an article saying that the antonov 225 mriya had come to deliver pandemic supplies and ppe.
IT WAS ACTUALLY THE BIGGEST PLANE IN THE WORLD FLYING OVER TORONTO. my eyes didn't deceive me!

the obviously not a Lancaster, kept annoying me with it's regular passes over the city. what is that plane?

a friend posted an "adorable"  anecdote about mask wearing and their time in Japan on facebook. once upon a pre-pandemic time, they were at the university of kyoto studying. while exercising their skillz in the culture and language, they gave a friend the common concerned greeting about their health upon seeing them in a face mask.
friend nearly snickered out loud, no, not sick, don't wish me health, i was too lazy to put on makeup today so i put on a mask to cover it up!
the post was considered so charming (by everyone but me?) and people commented how great it is to get to wear masks, or how they came across this very same thing in their time in japan or korea or asia... how wonderful it was for all the women to not have to wear makeup when they put masks on! ha ha, now i don't have to wear makeup since we have to wear masks to shop!
i don't even no how to explain how fucking horrified i was to think that everyone thought it so funny and charming that someone considered their own face so hideous and unsuitable for public viewing, would feign illness so they don't have to alter it with cosmetics.
i love wearing makeup. i love makeup. but it's a choice. i am sad that no one has been able to appreciate the glory that is me wearing the 70s style baby orange lipstick i bought in late february. i think everyone has the right and the obligation to look exactly how they want to.
but the idea that women feel they cannot show their natural faces in public without makeup, that covering their faces with masks is the only other option... isn't that terrible? not a cute story, but a really horrifying thing about society. i haven't shaved my legs in twenty years. it's a custom for women to shave their legs. but you don't have to. it's a choice. you can wear makeup or not... again it should be a choice not an obligation. men aren't obligated to wear makeup, no matter how much better most of them would look with a bit of eye cream and powder. (not even colour cosmetics... you can put something on those bags and wrinkles, you can dull that crimson sheen)

but that's not the most important fight we have in society right now, is it? remember eighteen years ago, remember rodney king? he survived his brutal encounter with police, and the video evidence of that police brutality brought both canada and the united states to the point of riots.
now black people are killed with impunity nearly every day.
why hasn't everything been burnt to the ground?

today, the it-can't-possibly-be-a-Lancaster buzzed overhead yet again. just yesterday, annoyed by another pass and unable to get a clear photo, i had asked mostly-harmless about what other planes have four engines and might be flying over toronto. he didn't know.
today, ni queried reddit of all things.
it's a fucking Lancaster. THE LEAST LIKELY THING EVER IS THE TRUTH, IT'S A BLOODY LANCASTER. the noise is those 75 year old prop engines. it makes sightseeing passes over the city regularly, taking anyone who can pay $3600 CAD per seat around toronto, hamilton, niagra falls, and apparently port colboure (?) according to the flight plan.
despite seeing the antonov mriya, i never for a moment imagined there was a Lancaster just cruising around toronto. 
last year, i got to know a family of raccoons who inhabited the rooftops and the deck outside my room. i called all the babies "little boos" and enjoyed spending time with them, giving them dog food kibbles as treats and petting and interacting with them. i read them stories, posted photos, it was great. once day i overstepped my place, i picked a little raccoon up and embraced it, pulled the soft furry thing close to my heart. momma was not previously visible, but as soon as the raccoon was not under it's own control and in my clutches, she charged. bit me on the forearm. i released her baby, and apologized profusely.
lesson learned, i didn't snuggle a raccoon again.
this spring, a skinny, scruffy, raccoon appeared on my deck.
i called, shook the dog food bag, and that raccoon came right over and sat with me! it was a boo!
suffering from mange and clearly just birthed a litter of kits, i got medicine and food. Mama Boo was treated and cured of mange, and all the most common intestinal parasites and worms. the medicine was safe for nursing mothers, and the babies got a second dose right after they were weaned. now i have 4 young raccoons frequenting my deck. i love them. they have torn 3 holes in my screen, came into my room and tossed the place, and they are my favorite neighbours.

how have you been?