Like lightning an image popped into my head. The still, cold feel of a hand that had no blood coursing through it's veins. The memory of watching her chest to try and detect the slightest rise and fall. The gentle shaking to try to wake her up. Gently taking hold of her wrist to try and find a pulse.

I could no longer breathe.

I could no longer talk.

I couldn't tell her what was wrong. What was wrong with me?

Fear surged, fear that did not exist that one day almost a year ago now.

I've read about PTSD. I've never understood it. Emotions that have built up over the course of the past year are flooding out, attached to visions of a memory where those feelings were absent. Anger. Sadness. Grief. Fear.

The only way out is through. I sobbed. I called into work. I let the grief and angst wash over me.

That was yesterday. Today is a new day. This morning the sun rose.