Print Story God dammit
By Gedvondur (Wed Jul 24, 2019 at 01:29:10 PM EST) death (all tags)
Emotional rant below. If you are feeling down or sensitive, suggest you skip. Plus I'm angry and I'm going to lash out at religion a little bit. Apologies.

My uncle Mel died yesterday unexpectedly. He was walking out into his front lawn and collapsed.

I have 16 aunts and uncles on my mother's side of the family. I've been lucky. It wasn't until this year that I lost any of them.

My Aunt Rosemary passed in January. Yesterday was my Uncle Mel. Mel was 79.

I know in my head that this happens. I know that life is short and that you need to hold onto those you love as much as you can. You must eject those that give you pain, there isn't enough time for that.  

I'm an atheist. That makes these times when I lose a loved one a great deal worse. I don't believe I'll see them again in a paradise. I won't see my beloved pets at the rainbow bridge. There is nothing, but *nothing* coming. The meaning and love I have in my life are because I make it so and because I choose it. When I'm asked by militant atheists why I do not rail against religion is because I am jealous of those that can take comfort in the solace it offers. But today I am angry, angry that if there was a benevolent God, that he would, on purpose, make our lives so. I would believe, but I can't. If you believe, hold onto it and the solace it offers tightly. That is the gift of religion.

I was supposed to be in the woods this week, on the shores of a flowage/lake. With my friends and my father. Now instead I will go to a viewing and then a funeral. I will see my grieving Aunt, my grieving cousins and their children. Mel was a father and a grandfather.  

I feel tired. I know that this will happen again and again. I must find better ways to cope.

I have a friend who owns a muffler/auto repair shop.  He's got a sign over the office door that reads:

Take it Easy
It's Later Than You Think

And it is. So be well and hug your loved ones, call the ones you haven't seen in a while.
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God dammit | 4 comments (4 topical, 0 hidden)
*hug* by aphrael (4.00 / 2) #1 Wed Jul 24, 2019 at 04:19:20 PM EST

If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.
Sorry you are going through this by jimgon (4.00 / 1) #2 Mon Jul 29, 2019 at 08:37:27 AM EST
I've never been good with the comforting words after loss.  I am sorry that you are going through this.  Unfortunately to live is to deal with loss.  Finding friends to deal with it is the best I think we can do. 

Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
Late, but here by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #3 Thu Aug 01, 2019 at 01:54:25 PM EST
I get you on the atheism thing. My younger son used to occasionally cry, horribly upset about death. It usually happened when he was in his bed, meant to go to sleep. I think he thought death would be like that, forever stuck in the dark, alone. And I couldn't use the easy comfort of religion for him.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope the family gathering was heartening.
"I honestly pity the stupid motherfucker who tries to talk down to iGrrrl" - mrgoat

It was by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Aug 02, 2019 at 10:38:40 AM EST
Thank you. I appreciate it.

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God dammit | 4 comments (4 topical, 0 hidden)