Print Story December
By Gedvondur (Mon Dec 02, 2019 at 05:33:24 PM EST) Not Again, Death, D&D (all tags)
One of my high school friends has a sign hanging in his shop that reads: “Take It Easy, It’s Later Than You Think”

Sound advice.

Thanksgiving week is normally fun for me. I take time off of work, I get to eat and spend time around the house doing whatever I want.

I went to the Warby Parker store to help my wife pick out new glasses. We were about half way through when the phone buzzed, I got a text. Its from one of my friends, P. I graduated high school with, P.

His text is endearingly awkward and apologetic.P was going to cause me pain and even in text, I could tell that he did not want to. It was about Darin, a mutual friend from high school. 48 years old, he has had a massive heart attack and died. Darin was always heavy and struggling with his weight. Yet he still managed to be gregarious, funny and outgoing. Everyone liked him. We all played D&D together in high school.

Here’s a story of a happy day, one in high school. School had been called for snow. So naturally we gathered in the basement of Darin’s house to play D&D. In bad weather parents dropped us off at the house, heavily burdened by books, paper, pencils and dice.

We even ordered in snacks, since the snow was bad. One of the local grocery stores was doing delivery. That may not seem important, but in the late 1980s, the only thing you could get delivered was pizza. We felt like utter bad-asses, ordering things, spending what little money we had. We got chips, crackers, candy and soda pop. The soda was Jolt Cola, the preferred drink of the basement dwelling EdgeLord. Everyday plain old Mountain Dew didn’t have sufficiently manly amounts of sugar or caffeine. Vile swill, but at the time I'd have rather cut off a finger than admit I didn’t like it. Being able to feel your pulse thumping in your fingertips was a benefit, not a worry.

So we played D&D for hours and hours, high in the way only teenage boys on caffeine, sugar, and bravado can feel. We laughed, talked shit, told lies about girls and played D&D. I remember laughing so hard that felt dizzy and my eyes were wet. We were young and free of our obligations of school and home, in a place where we were able to be who we wanted to be without judgement or ridicule. Even if that meant being a wizard or a fighter. I will not and cannot forget Darin’s laugh, his excited exaggerated movements, the energy that he had. It was one of the best days I can remember from that time.

I also cannot forget his kindness. When Darin saw you, his smile was for you, he took note of you. You could not help but feel drawn to him and wonder what he saw in YOU that could make him smile like that.

School, careers, and life separated us. I still saw Darin from time to time and still he had that smile. I miss my friend and I wish I had spent more time with him.

Today, my mother sends me an email. My Racist Uncle is in palliative care. Cancer has spread to his liver and lymph nodes. He’s too weak for the radiation and chemo. He may be a racist, but he’s my uncle. I love him and I’m going to miss him. I don’t want to keep going back to Wisconsin for these things. It looks like I may have to go back before Christmas.

My aunts and uncles are all at that age. So are my parents. I cannot even process the idea of losing my parents at this point. I know that is life and I know that I will survive it, but I am so very tired right now.

I’m okay and I’ll be okay. I’m gonna shed some tears. Maybe you are too. I want you to know that’s okay. We can both do it and we are both gonna be okay.
< So you are stranded in the past? | So >
December | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden)
Wow. :-( by ana (4.00 / 2) #1 Mon Dec 02, 2019 at 06:15:09 PM EST
Sorry to hear it, man, for both of them.

Or get rabies. Also don't do that. --scrymarch

Thanks, Ana. by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue Dec 03, 2019 at 02:30:28 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Thanks for sharing the memory by jimgon (4.00 / 1) #2 Mon Dec 02, 2019 at 06:21:29 PM EST
The memories are what we are left with when the people leave us. And the memories need to be shared.

Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
Memories by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Dec 03, 2019 at 02:30:06 PM EST
I have been working harder to record them. The older I get the more details fade.

[ Parent ]
Condolences by Orion Blastar (4.00 / 1) #3 Mon Dec 02, 2019 at 10:56:09 PM EST
on your loss of friend and sick Uncle.

One of my Uncles shut us out and I never learned if he is still alive or not. When his wife died he didn't tell us so we could go to the funeral. Things get messed up.

I just had my baby brother shut me out after shutting out our mother.

"I drank what?" - Socrates after drinking the Conium
Thanks OB. by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #9 Tue Dec 03, 2019 at 02:29:17 PM EST

[ Parent ]
Jolt and jolts by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #4 Mon Dec 02, 2019 at 11:17:37 PM EST
"Being able to feel your pulse thumping in your fingertips was a benefit, not a worry."

Oh yeah, that was a thing. But I was the XX in the group, quite female by genetics and presentation, and fuck you I could roll dice and play Blitzkrieg with the best of them. So no, there was no lying about girls in my gang.

But the jolts of deaths are very different things. Thank you for sharing Darrin with us.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

Thank you by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue Dec 03, 2019 at 02:28:50 PM EST
I appreciate your words.

[ Parent ]
I would have liked Darrin, I bet. by iGrrrl (4.00 / 1) #16 Fri Dec 06, 2019 at 11:05:21 PM EST
I responded to one piece of the post, in my own head, clicked off on one thing.

Every death leaves a person-shaped hole in the world. My respect to you.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)

[ Parent ]
All at that age by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #5 Tue Dec 03, 2019 at 06:29:02 AM EST
I'm mostly past that. Just one aunt left. She's going strong and we get together for dinner once a month.

Next up: My generation.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

That's young by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue Dec 03, 2019 at 07:33:51 AM EST
it sounds like  you'll miss Darin.

I will by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Dec 03, 2019 at 02:28:09 PM EST
He was too young. Engaged to be married too.

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Catching it from both barrels. by ObviousTroll (4.00 / 1) #12 Tue Dec 03, 2019 at 02:59:50 PM EST
Sorry to hear that.

It is weird to think we're hitting that point where things might suddenly take a turn for the worse. I have an aunt that no one can stand, and somehow i got appointed to be the one remaining contact she has with the rest of the family. This morning she texted me that her son's wife had a seizure of some sort, ended up in the hospital and is apparently in some kind of septic shock due to an undiagnosed infection. 

Oh, and by the way, her son, my cousin, is a type-I diabetic which led to him having to go through years of dialysis and being unable to work, then a kidney transplant, gets over that, gets a job, things are settling down when his daughter is diagnosed with juvenile leukemia. 

Now this. If I didn't know for a fact that it's all true I'd think he was running some kind of gofundme scam.

An Angry and Flatulent Pig, Trying to Tie Balloon Animals
Good gravy by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #13 Tue Dec 03, 2019 at 06:21:23 PM EST
That's terrible. So much to handle at once. I hope your cousin's wife and daughter recover. Wow.

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I’m sorry to hear it by clock (4.00 / 1) #14 Wed Dec 04, 2019 at 06:22:00 PM EST
Losing friends is the worst. I’ve written here about my dear friend who passed far too young. It’s just hard. And it makes one feel vulnerable. Which sucks.

My best to you. Be well.

I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

Thanks man by Gedvondur (2.00 / 0) #15 Wed Dec 04, 2019 at 07:40:45 PM EST

[ Parent ]
December | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden)