Late last summer my wife, Weetabix, and I were discussing the state of our jobs, careers and lives. She was working for a startup. I was and am working in communications for a big tech company. She had also been teaching night classes at one of the local private colleges for a few years. She really liked it, really liked talking with students, really liked the experience of teaching at that level. But as a career, it was not going to work out. Adjunct educators in higher education pretty much make less than shift managers at Starbucks on a full-time basis.

So we decided that she should get her PHD. I don’t have a degree - I’m stuck doing what I’m good at and what I can get paid for. I do pretty well, but I have zero flexibility. She should at least be able to do a job she likes, even if I can’t. Plus, it’s not like I work in a coal mine. I don’t like my job, but it’s not terribly difficult and it pays well. So off in the mail went applications to colleges and universities to get her Masters degree upgraded to a Doctorate. We figured it would take a bit to get in, we needed an arrangement where they’d pay for the education in exchange for teaching or grants or however it could be worked out. We also figured that her alma-mater for her Masters would be the most likely candidate. Plus, it's a two-hour drive away. But just to be safe, she applied to over a half dozen schools.

We got a few rejections - it was disappointing for her. She got accepted to her alma mater, but…..no financial help and little prospect for it. Then we got an email. It was from one of her long-shot schools in Las Vegas, Nevada. A full fellowship. Full ride, plus pay. They take exactly one PHD student a *year* for this program. It’s a three year program at a special institute within the university. It’s a real honor to get selected. They are enthusiastic to get Weetabix into the program.

Suddenly, we were discussing Nevada, where she’d live, how we’d manage it, the whole shebang. We talked for about two weeks when she finally confronted me. Why wasn’t I going to move out there with her? To be honest, I just hadn’t been thinking about it that way. I’ve lived in the same 50 mile radius (more or less) my entire life. My parents are in their late 60s and early 70s, respectively. My entire social circle, outside of you imaginary internet people, are here. It kind of rocked me back on my heels.

But not why you’d think. The thing that I found to be an embarrassing and thoughtless act was the idea that I hadn’t even *considered* moving to Las Vegas. It just did not compute. Worse yet, I had not thought about what moving there by herself, with no support system would do to her. I completely and utterly failed to recognize her worries and difficulties while patting myself on the back for being a good husband and supporting her in the pursuit of an advanced degree. I was gonna take care of the house and our pets and make the summers when she was home the best.

Clearly I’m the biggest idiot that ever walked the land. Fortunately for me, my wife is not only a more understanding person than I am, but she clearly has a strong capacity to put up with unthinking stupidity. We talked about it, discussed things, and I apologised for being so damnably blind and missing what she and everyone else could see, that I needed to move with her. I work from home, and I’ll *actually* be closer to the main offices in Silicon Valley than I am now.

So we are selling the house and moving to Nevada. Change has come again and it will be good for me to have lived somewhere else. We are going to come back to Wisconsin, my parents are getting older and I’m an only child. But for the near future, Nevada will be our home. We move in August and I am excited and more than a little bit scared.