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Cars
By anonimouse (Sat Oct 08, 2016 at 03:19:25 AM EST) (all tags)
So a car goes into a garage... 


 It comes out with a new fuel pump and sounds gradually rougher over time, so I take it up to another garage (my brothers).

Bro: "Two of the four injectors aren't working. Look, if I disconnect this lead or this lead, your engine isn't affected in the slightest, but if I disconnect this one or this one, it dies. I think it's because some particles from your disintegrating fuel pump ended up in the wrong place"
Me: "Okay, so how much are they and how long is it going to take"
Bro: "Let me phone around."

Time passes...
Bro: "Right the local Ford dealer charges £240 for each one, but I've got it down to £160 each. They won't be here till Tuesday so I'll have to lend you a vehicle. Take that van over there."
Me: Okay I'll see you in mid-week then

Weekend:
One of the side effects of having a van is that you have this conversation with neighbours
Them: Oh you have a van. Would you mind taking this large item down to the rubbish tip?
Me: Uhhhh ... Okay.
At least if you have a skip outside your house you don't have to do any work.

Mid week arrives.
Me: Is my car ready?
Bro: Nope, fraid not, the parts only arrived yesterday, it'll be the end of the week. By the way, the previous garage didn't replace the fuel filter which they totes should have done when they did your pump.
Me: Okay

End of the week arrives.
Me: Is my car ready?
Bro: Yes and no. We've replaced the injectors, but noticed the flywheel is about to go. We need to replace it. By the way you need a new exhaust  It's a good job you came up when you did because otherwise your car would have probably disintegrated all over the motorway.
Me: How long is that going to take?
Him: Be about Wednesday/ Thursday as we have some of our own vehicles to fix and we're waiting for the flywheel to arrive.

Wednesday:
Me: Is my car ready?
Bro: Nope, the flywheel arrived this afternoon, so your car is on the ramp with the gearbox coming out as we speak. I'll update you tomorrow.

Thursday:
Me: Is my car ready?
Bro: Not quite. We've replaced the flywheel and the exhaust but we also ordered some new front tyres and they haven't arrived yet

Friday:
Me: Is my car ready?
Bro: No, but it will be by the time you get here. We'll have gone to the pub by then so we'll leave the keys in $sekret location and you're good to swap over.

I have the feeling that the punchline for this joke is going to arrive in a PDF attached to an email, titled STATEMENT/INVOICE.



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Where's the punchline? | 3 comments (3 topical, 0 hidden)
The actual punchline? by marvin (4.00 / 2) #1 Sat Oct 08, 2016 at 10:42:12 AM EST
Van rental: £30/day

Sounds like my Car Adventures a couple weeks ago. by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #2 Tue Oct 11, 2016 at 07:03:09 AM EST
My VW was in the shop getting a new rear end put on after $IdiotInJeep didn't see me stopped at the red light. Took a week and a half to get it fixed.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Oh, and it cost $400 by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Oct 11, 2016 at 07:03:41 AM EST
After insurance.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

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Where's the punchline? | 3 comments (3 topical, 0 hidden)