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Diary
By yankeehack (Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 02:12:44 PM EST) (all tags)
Teenagers


LO is being a teenager and it is annoying the shit out of me.

She wants FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMMMM. From the way she talks, you would think that I was somehow a monster not allowing her to do anything.

Her trips to go to the convenience store somehow wind up with detours going elsewhere (boys, boys, picking up a friend, etc.).

Her and her BFF, a boy who is a senior, are not talking to each other and she is upset as her adventure buddy is doing other things. He wants to "party" with other seniors. The other seniors tell LO that they are just using him as a ride so they can go get fucked up and stay out late.

On Saturday night, she walked out of the house at 1am to go to a neighborhood house where another of her senior friends lives to talk to her BFF. We argued and I was enough of a pain in the ass to make that not worth it.

LO is now also fighting me on the car - she had an idea about getting a large car to carry her friends. We can't find one we agree on because LO has no idea how much a pain in the ass it is to get a car repaired.

Also, according to LO, the new thing kids do these days are college visits without parents and why won't I let her do that?

The only good thing right now is that she isn't dating anyone seriously and isn't really in the mood to. She talks to a lot of boys, and unfortunately some of them are in college. (I give her a lot of shit for this...)

I do not want to go car shopping today. I won't lie, I fantasize about boarding school for her.

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Teenagers | 28 comments (28 topical, 0 hidden)
Surely Temple and Drexel are on mass transit lines by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #1 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 02:27:32 PM EST
that's two college visits without parental involvement.

We had eighteen_year_old home for the weekend, as she needed a quiet place to study and get caught up, so she doesn't flunk out before Thanksgiving. Apparently her method of studying is to read about Chem for ten minutes on the web, and then start poking and prodding thirteen_year_old.

We were both glad to drop her off at her dorm, though Mrs. Ha misses her.


I wish by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #2 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 02:47:19 PM EST
The latest is that she wants to go on college visits with her BFF girlfriend, who is actively being recruited for rowing. The girl is getting invited to look at some west coast schools and she went on some visits this past summer with her folks. The girl's grades aren't that great so her parents are extra concerned.

When I asked LO why she wanted to go out west with her friend when she has been adamantly stating that she wanted to go to New England.

"I dunno."
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

[ Parent ]
Newspaper_mom took the oldest by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #14 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 06:57:08 PM EST
and her daughter on a college tour of New England, with stops at Emerson, BC, UMass and Northeastern. We were thankful, but she's traveled with the newspapers many times before.


[ Parent ]
See... by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #16 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 07:07:06 PM EST
that is the tour I expect to take LO on in spring/summer 2015...along with a few stops in Vermont.

Depending on her SATs, it looks like her safety school might be UVM. One of their admissions people were already at the high school and LO had a long talk with her.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

[ Parent ]
College visits by Vulch (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 02:47:39 PM EST
I think my current employer keeps crow-bars in the Porters Lodge for separating parents from offspring on interview days...



Oh really. by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 02:51:14 PM EST
So parents aren't encouraged?

"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB
[ Parent ]
Not usually by Vulch (4.00 / 1) #8 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 03:52:44 PM EST
We have open days and interview days. Open days are open to anyone, though booking is strongly encouraged, but no admission decisions are taken. Interviews are invite only following an application through UCAS (the UK uses a uniform application system for domestic students) and used to winnow the shortlist. Depending on the subject the applicants may be given a text to read when they arrive, set a short essay or similar followed by two or three in depth interviews and the last thing they need is parents hovering. We also want to find out what the students are like, parents are a very secondary consideration. The students usually get fed properly at lunchtime, parents are pointed at local coffee shops and takeaways.



[ Parent ]
They weren't when I went by notafurry (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 03:58:42 PM EST
And that was (holy crap) 20 years ago. Oh, Mom was with me for the campus visits, but they were peeled off quickly.

College students are, for better or worse, adults. The interviewer is aware that they're immature and not fully capable, but also that they'll get better and more accurate assessments without the parents' involvement.

[ Parent ]
Parents are encouraged by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #11 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 04:34:49 PM EST
 ... to stay the hell out of the way.

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
At the hippy college I was in aged 16-18 by Dr Thrustgood (2.00 / 0) #18 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 03:48:35 AM EST
(for 'A' levels in the UK) Open day parents weren't discouraged exactly, but certainly conspicuously absent.

Definitely absolutely none anywhere near interviews or anything like that.



[ Parent ]
How many seats has the bigger car got? by hulver (2.00 / 0) #5 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 03:25:20 PM EST
I was under the impression that larger cars didn't really seat more people.

If she wants room for lots of people, suggest to her that a mini-van is the best idea.
--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
The bigger soccer Mom SUVs by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 03:56:15 PM EST
can seat 8. Some of her friends have these as they are the extra family car. (Of note, I also drove the family station wagon when I could drive which could seat 9 of my good friends.)

One of LO's friends had to take her driver's test in the family Suburban as Dad was at work. She failed the parallel parking the first time.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

[ Parent ]
what are PA laws on passengers ? by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #6 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 03:27:18 PM EST
I want to say VA is very strict on teens with passengers -- as in, family/siblings yes, but limited # of buddies in the car .. (car full of kids = distraction = wreck or something)..

(Wasn't the case when I was a teen, but seems to be so, now..)

We have restrictions too by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 03:49:47 PM EST
back in my day, PA kids could get their license at 16 with no restrictions.

These days, it's 16 1/2 and there is a multi-passenger restriction for 6 mo and 11pm curfew. And then you can get a full license after at least a year of holding the junior one with no accidents or when you turn 18.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

[ Parent ]
Cars by lm (2.00 / 0) #13 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 06:31:24 PM EST
My mom made me buy my first car even though she put me into a position where I needed a car by enrolling me in a school district 45 minutes away across state lines.

The notion that someone is fighting over what kind of car that they're going to be given seem bizarre to me.

On the other hand, I remember being a teenager all too well. There isn't much that I wouldn't have fought over back then.


Kindness is an act of rebellion.
A bit of parenting by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #15 Tue Sep 30, 2014 at 07:00:43 PM EST
fail on my part as I was punting on car buying until the last minute and I let my kid imagine what she'd get.

If anything, LO is one of those people who needs to have her expectations managed. If I told her she was getting a Forrester 6 months ago, she would have been fine with it. She hates change (and has been like this since she was a wee toddler).

Having said that, the other problem is that the local used car inventory is low for our budget. I was talking to one parent the other night who recently got a car for his kid and he said that he had to chase a car down at dealership an hour away.

We went to one Volvo dealership yesterday who showed to have 40+ cars in stock, only to find the goofball used car sales manager never updated their online inventory. And we'd found this dealership through our bank's car buying service so I didn't think I'd need to call.

The other dealership we went to had one car, another Forrester, similar mileage, but in red. LO was not happy. And I wasn't thrilled with the used car guy there either.

We were talking Toyotas earlier today, but again...needing to chase something down.

The only good news is that the sales guys are blunt with us and we haven't gotten (too) upsold, not like the old days.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

[ Parent ]
She lies about her whereabouts by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #17 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 02:16:24 AM EST
and you're still going to provide a car for her? That is a recipe for disaster.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
What kid doesn't lie about their whereabouts? by lm (4.00 / 2) #21 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 07:00:06 AM EST
Inquiring minds want to know.

Kindness is an act of rebellion.
[ Parent ]
Kids that want a free car. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 2) #25 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 04:18:25 PM EST

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
I never did... by notafurry (4.00 / 4) #26 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 05:16:22 PM EST
And I challenge you to prove otherwise.

Besides, I have an alibi.

And several witnesses.

[ Parent ]
My parents by yankeehack (2.00 / 0) #28 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 06:45:01 PM EST
did not know where I was all the time (boyfriend's house) when I was her age.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB
[ Parent ]
This is by yankeehack (4.00 / 1) #27 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 06:43:43 PM EST
"don't be up my ass all the time, Mom"

I can tell when she's not telling me the complete truth, oftentimes she'll admit what she did days later.  

On the other hand, yesterday she went to the grocery store all by herself and was so proud of that. 

Hockey starts up next week and she's taking an SAT class in the evenings. Hopefully she'll burn off some of this anxiety and calm down about the driving thing by the time the winter comes around.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

[ Parent ]
I quite understand the expectations thing by lm (2.00 / 0) #20 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 06:58:54 AM EST
When my eldest daughter was still living in the house full time, she would be thrilled if I brought a surprise home whether it be a new jacket or whatever

But if I took her out shopping to pick something out in the same category, she'd always pissed at the discrepency between what she wanted and what I thought was appropriately in our price range and of sufficient quality to last more than a couple of months.

And, yeah, shopping for a used car sucks.


Kindness is an act of rebellion.
[ Parent ]
indeed, by the mariner (2.00 / 0) #23 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 12:18:45 PM EST
however in this day and age, i don't think it's appropriate for middle class parents to make their children buy cars and bear related expenses -- the kind of work kids can get is so low paying it is likely to cut into their ability to take heavy course loads and participate in worthwhile extracurriculars (of course, if the kid is a loafer wrt school, i have no strong opinions on that situation).

but agreed re: controversy over which car they get for free.

[ Parent ]
That all depends on where you live by lm (2.00 / 0) #29 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 07:46:06 PM EST
... and where you go to school.

My daughter has friends doing co-ops at NIH and other science heavy places.

But your point is well taken in many places. Vast swaths of the US no longer have decent jobs available to high school aged kids.


Kindness is an act of rebellion.
[ Parent ]
Er by Merekat (2.00 / 0) #19 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 04:50:11 AM EST
Assuming 'college' means where you go at 18 after school, I think I would have rather curled up and died than had my parents attend the interviews. (It was actually the first time I was on a plane when I did mine). All open days we all attended ourselves.

If it is a sort of bridging thing at 16, ok, but there should be some time with the student only too.

My first car by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #22 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 07:19:55 AM EST
The family spare car, a 73 Pontiac Grand Am. Two door. Somehow I once squeezed 7 friends in it on the way to a concert. After it died I got the 75 Ford Granada. I didn't get an actual new car until I was in my 30's.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Once upon a time by ana (4.00 / 5) #24 Wed Oct 01, 2014 at 12:50:26 PM EST
when babelfish was not yet assimilated, I had occasion to run a German language text through it to get an approximate translation. This text contained the English word Teenager, which gave the gremlins some pause.

Since German lectionaries are full of compound words, it started trying things. It eventually came up with Tee-nager, and confidently translated this to 'tea rodent.'

Which, quite by accident, gives one food for thought.

I now know what the noise that is usually spelled "lolwhut" sounds like. --Kellnerin

Teenagers | 28 comments (28 topical, 0 hidden)