Suspenseful Ending!
When I was 15 I got a job at a local popular family style chicken dinner place. As low man on the totem pole, I was the most junior of three bus-boys. This occurs on I think my second night there.
Half way through the night, the hostess come over and tells the senior bus-boy that the men's bathroom has a clogged toilet and to take care of it. He immediately turns to me and tells me to take care of it.
I get directions to the supply closet and march into this tiny shitter off the main banquet hall. There is only one toilet and it's full, near to the brim with shit water and God only knows what. I carefully maneuver the plunger into the toilet, but I can tell I'm getting no action and the smell is getting intense.
As I pull the plunger out I see a set of 4x men's tighty-whitey underwear, Fruit-of-the-Loom label and all lazily float to the surface and sink back down. Well fuck. Somebody shit their pants and then abandoned their underwear in the toilet with about 10lbs of TP to go with it. I can't flush that down, that's what's keeping the plunger from working.
I go back into the kitchen and get a mop and bucket. While I'm in there I get a 1 gallon ice cream pail with a lid, and a fork. I hide these in the mop bucket and go back into the disaster zone that is the front hall shitter.
I go in there and take out the ice cream bucket and take off the lid. Carefully with the fork I fish in the toilet for the underwear. I snag them and begin to pull them up.
Oops, they seem to have some weight. As it turns out our customer's boom-boom is still lurking in the ass panel of the underwear. I disengage the fork and then fish again, so I can get more than one or two tines on it next time. The smell is appalling. I get most of the tines into the fouled underwear and lift them out of the toilet.
I let the water drain mostly off before putting the offending Fruit-of-the-Looms with its brown load into the ice cream pail and slamming the lid on. I then plunged the toilet, cleaned the seat and mopped the floor. I hid the ice cream pail back in the mop bucket.
I then go out behind the building and toss the bucket and it's contents into the dumpster. I then washed my hands and resumed my bus-boy duties.
You know what everybody asks me after that story?
"What did you DO WITH THE FORK??"
Half way through the night, the hostess come over and tells the senior bus-boy that the men's bathroom has a clogged toilet and to take care of it. He immediately turns to me and tells me to take care of it.
I get directions to the supply closet and march into this tiny shitter off the main banquet hall. There is only one toilet and it's full, near to the brim with shit water and God only knows what. I carefully maneuver the plunger into the toilet, but I can tell I'm getting no action and the smell is getting intense.
As I pull the plunger out I see a set of 4x men's tighty-whitey underwear, Fruit-of-the-Loom label and all lazily float to the surface and sink back down. Well fuck. Somebody shit their pants and then abandoned their underwear in the toilet with about 10lbs of TP to go with it. I can't flush that down, that's what's keeping the plunger from working.
I go back into the kitchen and get a mop and bucket. While I'm in there I get a 1 gallon ice cream pail with a lid, and a fork. I hide these in the mop bucket and go back into the disaster zone that is the front hall shitter.
I go in there and take out the ice cream bucket and take off the lid. Carefully with the fork I fish in the toilet for the underwear. I snag them and begin to pull them up.
Oops, they seem to have some weight. As it turns out our customer's boom-boom is still lurking in the ass panel of the underwear. I disengage the fork and then fish again, so I can get more than one or two tines on it next time. The smell is appalling. I get most of the tines into the fouled underwear and lift them out of the toilet.
I let the water drain mostly off before putting the offending Fruit-of-the-Looms with its brown load into the ice cream pail and slamming the lid on. I then plunged the toilet, cleaned the seat and mopped the floor. I hid the ice cream pail back in the mop bucket.
I then go out behind the building and toss the bucket and it's contents into the dumpster. I then washed my hands and resumed my bus-boy duties.
You know what everybody asks me after that story?
"What did you DO WITH THE FORK??"
| < Can anything top the last episode of Freaks and Geeks? | ta-nehisi coates sucks. > |
