Print Story Today kinda sucked
By BadDoggie (Sat Sep 22, 2012 at 01:12:52 PM EST) birds, stuff, kids (all tags)
We actually managed to get some sleep although there were some night wakings, and I was alive when up shortly before the 7:00a.m. screamy-shouty-noisiness that is a clever 3-year-old. And I was intent on Mama getting a few extra minutes' sleep.

A breakfast of waffles (which the Puppy helped make) consumed, I went upstairs for a few minutes with a crappy game on a crappy phone just to be away from stuff.

And then I heard a thump. And some noises from downstairs. And I leapt up and ran down, holding one eye closed, losing parallax but making sure I wouldn't become the ER centre of attention.

A blackbird managed to slam into the Big Room's picture window, so hard it left a smear. It was our blackbird, one of the pair which has been here since just after we moved in. The Puppy saw enough to be upsetting, but MamaDog was a bit shaken, too.

The bird was lying on the patio, opening and closing its beak quickly but silently, like a child screaming. "Can you take care of this?" my wife asked as she whisked the child upstairs.

"Upstairs, Doglet."
"Why are we going upstairs, Mama?"
"Because... because you need to get dressed."
"But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"
"Because it's time to get dressed."

And up they went.

A few years ago I wrote about some time I spent on a German farm with a chick I'd met in Iceland. I drove a tractor, watered cows and caught chickens to then kill them. But this wasn't the same. It was only a fucking blackbird (like we have a shortage of them) and the Puppy isn't even really attached, but that's what I was dealing with, and it was injured beyond repair, and I was going to have to dispatch it.

Oddly enough, I first started looking for one of my Chinese cleavers, then caught myself.

Remembering something, I went outside and grabbed the garden gloves. I picked up the bird and saw how it started breathing faster, unable to move. Fuck, this sucks.
I looked for any signs it might be able to recover because it'd really suck for the Puppy if there's no more blackbird family here.

Nada. Breathing was laboured, no movement in the feet was voluntary, the beak motions couldn't produce even a hint of sound.

I thought about grabbing the head and flicking, something I'd seen done before. But the violence of that and the limited efficacy had me remember nother method I learned in Iceland: pressing the heart to make it stop.

It's quick and you don't have to press hard enough to break the ribs. You do have to look at the animal as you're killing it, though. And that sucked. And I saw the last breath (it was deep) and I saw how the eyes half-closed as it died.

And I don't really get it since I've killed animals for food before. Maybe it's because it wasn't for food. But it die quickly rather than slowly and painfully. Fuck, there's something wrong here.

After I'd done the deed, I placed the thing behind the compost bins for whichever neighbourhood cat would be the victor, then took off the gloves and announced an all clear. Out of sight, out of mind, thoughts turned to other distractions.

Except mine. I've been thinking about this all day.

< YouTube thread | Dinner at Jasper White's this Thursday >
Today kinda sucked | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden)
WIPO by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #1 Sat Sep 22, 2012 at 02:01:24 PM EST

Pigeon cleanup crew...

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
Killing animals by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #2 Sat Sep 22, 2012 at 07:31:11 PM EST
I've killed many rats and mice.  The worst was one that got its tail caught in a rat trap and then dragged it through an airconditioning line, tangling its tail around the lines.  I had to kill it without damaging the lines.  It sadly took many attempts.  I had little choice but to use a bludgeoning instrument.

Another time we had a mouse loose in the house, running for the way out.  I took it out with a thick book on instinct.

I also caught one with a glue trap.  I will never ever use one of those again because they don't kill, but you can't let them go.  I also had to give that one a whack.
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

Glue traps are really evil by BadDoggie (2.00 / 0) #3 Sat Sep 22, 2012 at 08:18:42 PM EST
It's been more than 20 years and I'd still never use one again.


Jesus Christ you're a tool -- Dr Thrustgood

[ Parent ]
Supposed, all you need is a bucket with veggie oil by lm (2.00 / 0) #4 Sun Sep 23, 2012 at 07:18:21 AM EST

But I'm a fan of the old fashioned kill traps. Mice in my house is one animal that I've never felt guilty about killing.

Kindness is an act of rebellion.
[ Parent ]
I want 'em out or dead by BadDoggie (2.00 / 0) #5 Sun Sep 23, 2012 at 11:06:32 AM EST
But I can't condone forced suffering. I had a real problem mouse in NYC; a pair had feasted on the rodenticide but only one had the courtesy to not just die but do so where its corpse could be reached and disposed of rather than slowly decompose behind a wall.

The other one, no. Fucker ate out cables (remember this was in 1998-ish and I had a dozen desktops running concurrently) and had an uncanny ability to eat anything and everything expensive.

Peanut butter.

Bastard died next to the trap. The bar whacked his head but he managed to jump away from it anyway. The whack plus the highly effective anticoagulant spelled the for the unwanted guest. Clean-up was messy and smelly because mice, too, have a lot more blood inside them than you think.


Jesus Christ you're a tool -- Dr Thrustgood

[ Parent ]
kill traps by barooo (2.00 / 0) #6 Mon Sep 24, 2012 at 10:15:13 AM EST
are the way to go.  Everything else except maybe a box trap for catch-and-release.

The worst I remember was one poor little bastard that had the trap come down on the tip of his nose.  I presume he suffocated.  He did not look like he had a good exit.

There were also a few that got legs or tails caught in the traps that had to be dipatched with a stomp, or occasionally when I thought I was doing the cats a favor, to be let go in the vicinity of a cat.

Somehow the mousetraps became my job around 5th grade or so.    I do know the best way to set one: you put a cotton ball on the trigger and make sure it's crimped on with a pair of pliers, then you rub peanut butter into the cotton.

man, i need a beefy taco now.
[ Parent ]
Today kinda sucked | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden)