Print Story That 5 year thing? I voted worse
By FlightTest (Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 06:06:48 PM EST) (all tags)
Five years ago today (14 March 2006), I wrote a diary. I didn’t know it at the time of course, but the first bullet would change everything, forever.

It’s hard not to see things as generally worse. My view is clouded by events of the last six months to be sure, and I have to admit to a natural pessimistic/cynical outlook, but the good spots mostly (but not all) seem to fall under the category of “it could be worse”.

The mammogram mentioned in the first bullet would change everything. A small spot, which would require a needle biopsy, which would reveal the news: Breast Cancer. We got the news the day before our 9th wedding anniversary. Obviously, the fact that the breast cancer was discovered early, was tiny and hadn’t spread, etc. is great. It never threatened to kill her, but it forever changed her, how she looks at herself, and our relationship.

Mrs. FT started her first day at her new job the very next day after receiving the news (i.e. on our 9th wedding anniversary) by going in and telling her boss that she had breast cancer and that she would like to make it work out some how but would understand if it would cause too much disruption. Her new boss was understanding and willing to let her stay and take the time off as necessary for her treatment. This would be the job that currently has her battling workers compensation about the 8mm extruded disc in her back.

Other bits from that diary;

We put the adoption bits on hold while we dealt with the breast cancer, then resumed the required training/classes. All the things we were worried about in the process turned out to be the wrong things to worry about, and even downright silly. Our daughter moved in with us in 2007, the adoption was finalized in 2008, and she left to live with her bio-parents in 2010. The last year of her living with us was one of the most stressful times in our lives.

We know that we helped her in some ways, but honestly, we utterly failed in others. The system failed us, and to a much larger extent, her, in many ways. We were outright lied to about her psychological and mental development. We were told that both of us working wasn’t a problem, but it became obvious at the end that she needed a stay at home parent.

Mrs. FT never finished her AA. I never finished my masters.

We’ve since sold the airplane we owned at that time, a well-functioning, but cramped Mooney M20E, and purchased a large, comfortable, hanger queen Piper Apache that is increasingly looking to get sold to someone with more money than brains to put two new engines on it. We won’t get near enough from it to buy another, so it’s either partnership, or the end of aircraft ownership. On the plus side, the guy I sold the Mooney to is extremely happy with it, it fits him and his wife and his usage perfectly. He’s getting more and better use from it than I would have.

Other bits since that diary;

I landed a much better job towards the end of 2006. This job is more responsibility and more stress, but also far more fulfilling and way cooler. Budgets and Allah willing, this is probably where I’ll stay for the rest of my career.

Major “remodel” accomplished. Kitchen cabinets and appliances all replaced, linoleum floor in kitchen and dining room replaced with hardwood, carpet removed in living room and underlying hardwood removed and replaced, popcorn ceiling removed in dining room, living room, and hallway, recessed lighting in kitchen, dining room and living room, and new paint through all aforementioned rooms. Only rooms not touched were bathrooms and bedrooms. Our home is much nicer as a result.

Lost two cats, one to old age, one to a coyote. Gained two who will be indoor only cats. Remarkably, we still have the first cat we got, we got him in 1999. He’s having health issues now, he’s diabetic and has digestive tract problems.

Mrs. FT
Mrs. FT started a stress disability claim this past May, got fired as soon as the lawyer requested a copy of her personnel folder, then discovered an 8mm extruded disc in her back a few months later. Her doctors agree this is a result of her working conditions, repetitive twisting stress in an extremely cramped work area, but of course the old job’s worker’s compensation is fighting it tooth and nail. Mrs. FT is hopeful for a quick resolution, or at least authorization to do her back surgery. I’m pretty pessimistic on that, and fear permanent nerve damage may have already occurred due to lack of remedial action.

Mrs. FT’s father’s girlfriend died from ignoring glaring signs of breast cancer for roughly 20 years. The loss hit him very hard, but he finally has a new girlfriend now, and is far happier than I’ve ever seen him.

My Parents
Both my parents almost died last year from bouts with C.Diff. Mom was in and out of hospital and skilled nursing facility, dad got so dehydrated he ended up in the hospital. It’s been very tough for them to shake it, but hopefully this time it’s gone for good. Mom is now in a residential care home, her short term memory is very poor, and she has increasing bouts of confusion. Dad is hopeful she can come home someday, and I think it’s important for his mental health and recovery now to support that idea to him, but privately, I don’t think she ever will. I fear dad killing himself trying to take care of mom if she came home. Mom is lively and happy where she’s at, I’m sure it will help her when dad can come see her. He can’t now because he’s not 100% over the C.Diff, and needs to ensure mom is as well, lest one contract it again from the other. Dad was also diagnosed with chronic leukemia, but aside from the scary sounding name, his doctors assure him it’s no big deal, just one more thing to check every 6 months. It may sound silly, but the fact that my parents are actually mortal, and will someday die, has moved from the abstract to reality.

Physically, I’m probably healthier than I’ve ever been. I work out twice a week and I’m cycling 60+ miles at a stretch on the weekends. I’ll probably increase that distance next weekend, shooting for 66 to 70 miles. I’m making real changes in my diet, and I’m doing well at eating smaller portions.

Psychologically? Stressed beyond recognition. I get frustrated at small stuff way too easily. I struggle to stay focused. Even small decisions are tough, important decisions are impossible, unless the “decision” is obvious. There are large looming problems I can’t do anything about, so I try to just avoid thinking about them.
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That 5 year thing? I voted worse | 14 comments (14 topical, 0 hidden)
What kind of Formatting Hell is this? by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #1 Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 06:28:41 PM EST
Every fourth word is strung together without spaces. Was that intentional?

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

No, by FlightTest (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 06:32:50 PM EST
It doesn't show up that way here.  Maybe some cut and paste bit didn't work right?   Windows cut and paste can DIAF.

[ Parent ]
Looks fine to me by kwsNI (2.00 / 0) #3 Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 06:40:32 PM EST

[ Parent ]
How about now by FlightTest (4.00 / 1) #4 Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 06:46:13 PM EST
Note to Hulver:  The "Paste as Plain Text" button doesn't do what one would expect.  Or, alternately, epic FAIL on my part.  Take your pick.

[ Parent ]
I pick by Driusan (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 07:20:21 PM EST
epic fail on ammo's part.

It looks fine to me.

Vive le Montréal libre.

[ Parent ]
WRONG! by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #7 Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 07:30:36 PM EST

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
While I hate to defend ammo by FlightTest (4.00 / 1) #8 Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 07:32:19 PM EST
When I clicked the source button there was some wonky stuff there, despite having used the paste as plain text button.   I re-cut and re-pasted it into a simple text editor, then back to the HuSi.  That seemed to kill the wonky stuff in the source view.

Why is cutting and pasting so hard, FFS?

[ Parent ]
content editable by lm (4.00 / 1) #9 Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 07:39:00 PM EST
Modern browsers try to preserve rich text when it is pasted.

Gives me no end of grief at work where I have to support said "feature."

There is no more degenerate kind of state than that in which the richest are supposed to be the best.
Cicero, The Republic
[ Parent ]
Yeah, that fixed it. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #6 Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 07:29:18 PM EST
Weird. I thought it might have been my ISP's dildos proxy.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
Nope by FlightTest (4.00 / 1) #10 Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 07:45:15 PM EST
It was the "content posted by a moron" filter in your browser.

[ Parent ]
you really do need a new phone. by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #11 Mon Mar 14, 2011 at 08:02:48 PM EST

[ Parent ]
I'll have your mom send me one. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #12 Tue Mar 15, 2011 at 12:33:34 AM EST

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
a large, comfortable, hanger queen by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #13 Tue Mar 15, 2011 at 08:52:54 AM EST
How about getting yourself an ultralight? Just for stress relief?

Or a motorcycle.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Stress relief by FlightTest (2.00 / 0) #14 Tue Mar 15, 2011 at 09:59:00 AM EST
We use the airplane to go places besides the occasional $400 hamburger.  Yeah, an ultralight would be "fun" but not terribly useful.  Also I believe the operating rules would mean a long drive for me, I couldn't take off and land from my local airport.  

I'm doing the cycling thing for stress relief these days.

[ Parent ]
That 5 year thing? I voted worse | 14 comments (14 topical, 0 hidden)