Print Story A Day in the Life -- Patchwork
Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Jul 15, 2010 at 09:19:30 AM EST) fuckwits, Mic, Microsoft, patches (all tags)
What's the fucking point of a four-day weekend if every goddamned store is closed? Fucking Germans.

And in the Inbox is ticket x30109q00335 from "Karl".

We are exhausted with two things:
Really, Hoss? Me too. MegaCorp's way of doing business and the people it does business with. People like... you.

1)Microsoft incompatibilty
2)Functionalities being taken away.

Huh? There are Windows versions of the Gimp and Tux Racer.

Poll: browser games?
x-posted to da brog.

Do you perhaps mean changes in Microsoft functionality whenever they fix something in their OS and the resulting need to patch our software to deal with that? What exactly do you want me to do about it? Do I have some special power to make Microsoft stop disabling shit? Tell them to cut it out yourself; You're the one handing them 50 grand a year, not me.

Microsoft is going to disable and remove shit whenever they damned well feel like it. DriveSpace. MSJVM. Progman. If you were an actual administrator and not a chimp you'd know how to deal with some of these problems.

We dont want to upgrade your software too
So you'll patch Windows but not the software running on Windows which won't run if you don't patch it? Huh? Look, every time Microsoft disables functions we have to re-write parts of our software. If they deprecate some more functions that they used to recommend as Best Practices, what the fuck do you think will happen? Either don't take the patch that will disable $OurBigApp or patch everything.

Now you say you are changing support for version 3.c.5 so what functionalities is $MegaCorp planning to discontinue on $YourBigApp version 3.c.5?
Which ones would you like us to discontinue? We aren't changing the functionality of the fucking software, you knob end, just how much we're willing to help you with it and how much we're charging you to hold your hand and fix your fuck-ups. That's why the Notice of Changes to Support for versions 3.c.x wasn't called Notice of Functionality Removal for versions 3.c.x.

We're not taking away any functionality. There are minor support changes. You have to patch our software if you install the drastic Windows patches.

And that should've been the end of it. But noooooo...

You say you don't take away functionality but $MuuxMarketServerProg is GONE! We need $MarketServerProg! Tell Microsoft to bring it back!

Tell Microsoft, huh? To bring back our software module. Which didn't go away but rather only had a very clearly documented name change due which can be found in every fucking tech journal and news site to some shitheel suing us for daring to use the name he used on his bugalicious sold-three-copies-in-1998 program which has since lain dead, the download Web page not having been updated for more than a decade.

Read the fucking docs. Patch your software. Follow the post-patch instructions and use the new name of $MarketServerProg (which is the totally unintuitive $MuuxAppServerMarket).

I need a cup of coffee which I'll get right after closing this ticket Root Cause: 17-Fuckwit <customer consultation=""></customer>. Maybe I'll get lucky and someone will walk by with some Valium. Or Haldol. Beggars can't be choosers.

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A Day in the Life -- Patchwork | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden)
I have this customer.. by infinitera (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu Jul 15, 2010 at 10:26:37 AM EST
Who is permanently disgruntled.

Most of the issues they've reported have been addressed. New product versions make their use cases work better. But it seems that familiarity breeds contempt for some, and it's always about how things are changing and getting worse, when they are either staying the same or improving.

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

That's literally the worst thing about by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #2 Thu Jul 15, 2010 at 12:10:46 PM EST
living there. Well, that and sorting your trash.

And really expensive gasoline.

And no noise-making past 10 p.m.

And registering with the cops when you move, like a sex offender does.

But mostly the shop closures.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

I like the 10 pee em o'clock rule by BadDoggie (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu Jul 15, 2010 at 01:38:46 PM EST
Our asshole neighbours have really shit taste in music. And since Germans don't believe in air conditioning and it's over 30°C at night right now, we have to keep the windows open and don't really want to hear the drunken idiots in the Innenhof. The shop closing laws, though, they really bite.


OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?

[ Parent ]
I miss innenhofe. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu Jul 15, 2010 at 03:20:16 PM EST
One of my downtown friends lives in a building which has a semi-functional one. They're rare in Seattle.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
Change EVERYTHING PLEASE! by duxup (2.00 / 0) #5 Fri Jul 16, 2010 at 09:56:45 AM EST
I'm a bit lucky.  I'm low enough on the support totem pole to where when someone asks me of those poorly thought out CHANGE HOW YOUR PRODUCT WORKS AND CONSEQUENTLY WHAT YOUR COMPANY DOES requests that would also break everything they rely on us to do as it is ... I can pull out one of my less confrontational lines that equate to "You're talking to the wrong dude to make that request."  Then they hit up sales or someone, sales somehow makes the request even more insane, engineering cries a little inside, and then they reject the request.

(Comment Deleted) by HuSi QA Dept (2.00 / 0) #7 Mon Jul 19, 2010 at 06:13:15 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by HuSi QA Dept

A Day in the Life -- Patchwork | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden)