I called off today, not so much because my dental issues were hurting, in fact the tooth was pretty much not an issue all day, I called off because I was tired. Tired because the tooth was a pain over night and it was hot in the bedroom too. If I had more actual work to do at work I woulda made more of an effort. I slept a few more hours after calling off. It did wonders for my mood at the time. And then it got fucking hot, as it was supposed to do.
So the AC is in, and it is pumping cool air across my left shoulder. The temp in my kitchen is 91. It is currently 80. Those 11 degrees mean a lot. I should be able to sleep tonight.
I did not contact a dentist today. I offer nothing more than lame ass excuses. The pain was gone. What if I can't find one that offers nitrous. What if I need a ride after the procedure. What if I can't get into til next week, or the week after? What if I can get in tomorrow. I've had teeth extracted before, I know what to expect, and yet I keep with the delays.
My first extraction was supposed to be just one tooth. I had no insurance and was poor. I had scraped 50 bucks together, and went. Dentist said it looked as if it had been an abscess. It was so bad he pulled the one beside it. I tried to stop him because all I had was the money for one tooth. He called it a two for one day. I had gotten to this point because a) I was poor. b) had developed a phobia because of a bad dentist I had when I was a child.
My second extraction was not because of a cavity, but because of an errant popcorn kernel that had busted off part of the tooth. I ignored it and it all lead to an extraction. That one was under twilight sleep. I won't do twilight sleep again because the nurse fucked the IV insertion up three times, and the dentist had to do it. Plus afterwards I was a zombie for 6 hours.
The first extraction was in 1992. The second was in 2000. Looks like the third will be in 2010. I want that to be the last. It'd be nice to find a dentist who can work with my damned fear and get the problems fixed, and where I can go every 6 months and get a cleaning.
That's part of the delaying too I guess. As long as I don't go now, I can keep telling myself I'm going to get every thing all taken care of this time.
I'm a wuss, I fully admit to that. Tonight is gonna be rough, as I can start to feel the anxiety boil up in my gut.
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