Print Story A Day in the Life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 09:01:18 AM EST) ARRAY(0x13fb6f0) (all tags)
Flying Blind

Anyone can fly an airplane. I know this because over the past decade I've let my mother, a bar-owning buddy, my whack-job sister and even my seven-year-old nephew take the controls of a plane I was piloting. They were flying the aircraft; I was piloting it. There's a huge difference. Flying is what you do when things are working. Piloting is what you do when shit goes downhill.

Poll: April Fools' Day
x-posted to da brog.

Administering a system is akin to piloting. Day to day, a fucking trained chimp can add user accounts in Windows and reboot the system when it crashes yet again. With practice he could probably learn to open a command line window and type dir. That does not make him an administrator.

If you don't know how to use the most basic UNIX commands like cat and grep using Cygwin, you're a trained chimp. The search function in Notepad is not the way you sort through thread IDs in a 500MB log and no, your m4d Excel sk1llZ don't cut it either.

On the other hand, I find it hysterical that one of the most common tools used by people writing UNIX and Linux shell scripts is Windows Notepad. Not emacs, not vi, not even pico (my favourite because I'm just that ghey), but Notepad. Which pretty much always writes a Unicode byte order marker. Which fucks up UNIX and Linux shell scripts.

If your job is Administrator and you're in class to prepare for the Oracle DBA II "Certified Professional" test, you should not have a problem using Oracle 11g running on any platform, not even on RedHat Oracle "Unbreakable <hah!> Linux". Your difficulties in using the better and more-refined-than-DOS bash shell should not prevent me and the others in the class from actually learning shit while you interrupt the teacher for the umpteenth fucking time asking how to change directories to list the files in /usr/bin/temp/ora-inst. You cockmonkey.

I have a little script of my own called "chimp" to run for these fucknuzzles which I usually remember to bring on a USB stick if I go to any tech classroom. It begins

alias c:"C:"
alias dir
"ls -lF"
alias del="rm -iv"
alias move="mv -iv"

It ends with echo "Ook."

And then the rest of us get to actually learn something about making the Resource Manager do what we want it to with a few different job classes. Or at least make it do what Oracle wants us to make it do during the damned test.

< Code Pink for the Win! | on fools >
A Day in the Life | 12 comments (12 topical, 0 hidden)
I had a job in a university lab once.. by infinitera (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 09:38:55 AM EST
Where the "administrator" had a whole bunch of data to create reports from, and was stumped. They paid me for a semester to write a few new lines of awk magic a day.

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

april fool by sasquatchan (4.00 / 1) #2 Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 09:53:35 AM EST
there is no poll, only zuul.

Are you the Gatekeeper? by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #3 Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 10:09:21 AM EST

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

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(Comment Deleted) by BlueOregon (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 10:16:26 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by BlueOregon

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I am the Keymaster (nt) by BlueOregon (2.00 / 0) #5 Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 10:17:06 AM EST

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Ray, if someone asks you if you by sasquatchan (4.00 / 2) #7 Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 10:30:55 AM EST
are a god, you say YES.

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OK. So my girlfriend is a dog... by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #10 Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 04:55:14 PM EST

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It was there when I submitted the story. by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #6 Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 10:28:23 AM EST

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

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I suspect pebkac by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 10:45:40 AM EST

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

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Are you sure? by sugar spun (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 01:01:21 PM EST

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I've come across some by ni (2.00 / 0) #11 Thu Apr 01, 2010 at 10:02:12 PM EST
outrageous April Fools' day posts, but this is definitely the best.

A smug pico user!? HAH!

Also, I think you probably want some more equal signs in that script.

"These days it seems like sometimes dreams of Italian hyper-gonadism are all a man's got to keep him going." -- CRwM

They were in there when I submitted by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #12 Tue Apr 06, 2010 at 12:09:48 PM EST
I copy from Da Brog to here, changing nothing except for the addition of some formatting here. Poll is missing, some symbols are missing, fuck it.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

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A Day in the Life | 12 comments (12 topical, 0 hidden)