Print Story A Day in the Life -- Fur stayed
Working life
By ReallyEvilCanine (Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 07:37:36 AM EST) A Day in the Life, first aid, meetings, fuckwits, pie (all tags)
Apparently, here in Krautreich after only two years I must have forgotten everything I learned in the day-long first aid class I took five? six? years ago. Because then I'd forgotten everything I'd learned during my brief stint becoming an EMT with eyes toward doctorhood, a career path I dropped because I really don't like most people and I can't think of a quicker way of finding this out than working in emergency services.

It's also a tough job to do from home.

Poll: floppies
x-posted to da brog.

Luckily, this class was being run by a guy who not only actually worked as an EMT but had done so in a town I previously lived in. We traded a few war stories and it turns out that he had carted away "Sepp", the permadrunk who'd set up shopping cart not a 30-second walk from my old front door. I ended up helping him with some of the practical demos, being the fallen victim to be manhandled into various safety positions as well as overseeing bandages and CPR.

Every participant got the day off of normal work duty to be one of the building's Safety Officer First Responder Engineers. Everyone but me. There were a couple of special people upon whom I had to wait, one of them only because everyone -- and I mean everyone worldwide -- wanted to see what I'd do when faced with this:

Unable to move 855159 files to new folder on different machine xcopy fails to file all files and ntbackup cannot backup all files to disk destination server has to tape drive media
And this has what to do with our applications? Your fucking disk is full. Not my problem. Delete all those fucking stileproject pr0n clips, you shitcock.

Fuckwit. Seventeen. Going home.

< 2010-12-07 | noooooooooo >
A Day in the Life -- Fur stayed | 27 comments (27 topical, 0 hidden)
First aid by Herring (4.00 / 2) #1 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 07:47:43 AM EST
Bloke died in the office on Monday*. The girl who tried first aid was quite shook up. No fun when that happens - which is hardly ever.

*on being told someone on the 6th floor (execs, marketing) had stopped breathing I did suggest that they had just forgotten how to. I am a bad person.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

Standard CPR has only a 14% chance of working by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #2 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 07:54:57 AM EST
Compression-only CPR (about to be certified in the EU but usually done by EMTs when they're unaided) doubles survival rates, but that still means the meat dies 3 out of 4 times.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
Unrealistic expectations. I blame TV by Herring (4.00 / 1) #3 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 07:59:51 AM EST
For instance, I believe that the success rate for defibrillators is rather higher on TV than in real life. Especially when the patient has flatlined.

14% is better than nothing though. She tried.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
Oops. Halve that number by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 2) #4 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 08:35:56 AM EST
Standard CPR has about an almost 8% chance of survival, compression-only about 14%. Big study. You want bad, compare this with the 5% survival rate if no one does anything until an ambulance comes to scoop and run. So 7 out of 8 times you lose even in the best of circumstances.

I think one of the biggest problems is that people are afraid of damaging the victim. They used to make a big deal about rib breakage 30 years ago. Today classes -- especially those run by people who have worked in ambulances -- work to get people past this, beginning the class with something like, "The guy's already dead. You can't possibly make his day any worse than it already is. If it was you, would you prefer to have broken ribs or a coffin?"

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
When MBW and I did baby specific first aid courses by Breaker (4.00 / 2) #15 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 07:35:38 PM EST
We had a young-ish paediatric A&E nurse (who still had that thousand yard stare that medical professionals get) tell us again and again:

"Broken bones, dislocations, we can fix those over time.  Breathing - you've got less than 4 minutes to save their life. Heartbeat - less than four minutes, or they die. 

Broken bones we can fix, ribs, spines, we'll fix it.  We can't breathe or pump blood until we get there.

Four minutes, tops".

[ Parent ]
The thousand yard stare by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #18 Thu Dec 09, 2010 at 12:53:15 AM EST
Even cold-ass bitches can't avoid taking at least some of that shit home. Scrubs really got the whole attitude and feeling thing right in the first few seasons. I... I couldn't do it. Happy as I am to be seen as a simple xenophobe, at the end of the day, I just could not keep doing that shit. It's hard on completely different scale. Others who felt much like me made alt.tasteless the heaven and haven it was up to around 2001.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
(Comment Deleted) by mellow teletubby (2.00 / 0) #19 Thu Dec 09, 2010 at 03:00:01 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by mellow teletubby

[ Parent ]
Yeah. by Breaker (2.00 / 0) #21 Thu Dec 09, 2010 at 07:49:41 AM EST
I've nothing but utter respect for those folks in A&E.

How do you sleep if you watched a baby die an hour ago?

[ Parent ]
You save the ones you can by BadDoggie (4.00 / 1) #23 Thu Dec 09, 2010 at 08:56:23 AM EST
You do your best to think about the successes, but one out of every three coming in is leaving though the back door, hopefully with a giant, ugly Y-cut so that a few others get another chance.


OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?

[ Parent ]
sadly by bobdole (4.00 / 1) #24 Thu Dec 09, 2010 at 10:35:04 AM EST
not enough people leave with the y-cut.

Spread the word!
-- The revolution will not be televised.

[ Parent ]
Naturally. by sugar spun (4.00 / 1) #5 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 08:40:50 AM EST
Because if someone needs CPR they're already dead and there's not always a necromancer around when you need one.

[ Parent ]
To be slightly kinder by sugar spun (4.00 / 2) #6 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 08:47:21 AM EST
It is infuriating that there's this idea that all it takes is a couple of well-placed whacks on the chest and a person in cardiac arrest will be ok again. The fact of needing CPR means the body's already given up its most basic tasks; we're fortunate enough that some of these people can be brought back but the majority are just too badly damaged by whatever put them there in the first place.

I've seen a few people suffering real trauma over not having saved a life that was already gone, and this is one of the situations I blame entirely on dumbass media portrayals of something that is actually devastating.

Also, fun fact: the doubling of success rates in compression-only is at present not reflected in countries where the average response time from the emergency services is higher than that of the US. Germany still teaches compression-and-breathing because the average response time here is 8 minutes, by which time your compression-only patient is oxygen-starved and even if the heart were to restart the brain has shut down. If you're doing compression-only and you've done over 200 compressions without someone with a siren coming to take over, it's time for a couple of rescue breaths.

[ Parent ]
200 compressions is only two minutes by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 09:32:18 AM EST
You can go 4-5 minutes before the oxygen is all burnt up. The funny thing about comp-only CPR is how to best keep the rhythm at 100BPM: this song. The Germans laughed. Get through the entire song, give a few breaths, get back to compressions. Seven times takes you over the 20-minute mark, at which point you're unlikely to get any response and the ambulance should already be there. They'll usually keep up the CPR until they drive away so that the bystander who was doing it doesn't see it was for naught.

In Germany failure to offer assistance or aid when you are physically capable of doing so is a serious, jailable offense. Samaritanism is enforced by law.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
The first aid course guy by sugar spun (4.00 / 2) #9 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 11:13:08 AM EST
said two minutes to me and he's also a working paramedic. I asked specifically about the no-breaths thing because it was interesting to me and he had a ready and informative answer - it was pretty cool and most unlike what I was expecting.

But then since mine was specifically a children's course the two minutes could be a child-specific thing.

[ Parent ]
Heh by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #16 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 07:43:36 PM EST
They used that one on us, too.  I think it works on a number of levels "stayin' alliiiiive!" and a rhythm to push the chest to.

Kids, I'm told, you have 4 minutes, tops, before death.  2 minutes is preferred if you want to avoid brain and organ damage.

Closest I have ever got to using Music As A Medicine was getting a mate to shadow box to me singing "Eye of the Tiger" when he was hypothermic.

[ Parent ]
Hypothermia is amazing by sugar spun (4.00 / 1) #20 Thu Dec 09, 2010 at 06:25:32 AM EST

My two experiences of it made me wonder all sorts of stuff about mythology. Maybe one day when I get half a spare second I'll write it down. I also want to tell some more hospital stories before they all fade to blurs.

[ Parent ]
Pretty sure by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #22 Thu Dec 09, 2010 at 07:50:04 AM EST
My mate didn't find it too amazing though!

Also +1 more hospital tales.

[ Parent ]
I had an idea for a home medical device by Herring (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 09:50:24 AM EST
It does double duty as a defibrillator and for administering ECT. Imagine the convenience of being able to do that from home. Perfect for someone who gets depressed after a heart attack.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
Actually with a huge dose of luck by bobdole (2.00 / 0) #17 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 08:01:49 PM EST
and good timing a single precordial thump can produce just the effect "as seen on TV".

It is amazing, but then again - it's been thrown out of the guidelines for the more mundane CPR (over the fact that it is mostly a waste of time). CPR is not nearly as impressive, you have to work up a sweat and all - and even then the 30 day mortality is way close to 100%.
-- The revolution will not be televised.

[ Parent ]
According to the NEJM, it's 75% survival by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #14 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 04:57:20 PM EST
Oh, wait a second, that's a 75% chance of full recovery from CPR in fictionalised TV portrayals. Somewhat different. That's according to the excellent TV Tropes page on CPR.

[ Parent ]
First aid classes by wiredog (4.00 / 4) #10 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 12:17:55 PM EST
Once, in the Army, I was the instructor in a battlefield first aid class. The basics: Bandage, compression bandage, tourniquet. Decided to throw in a test for common sense along the way.

Got a victim to lie on the stretcher. Soldier being tested comes up.

Me:"Head wound, bleeding, what to you do?"
Soldier:"Bandage!" Demonstrates by putting bandage on victim.

Me:"Still bleeding, what do you do?"
Soldier:"Compression bandage!" Demonstrates by putting bandage on victim.

Me:"Still bleeding, what do you do?"
Soldier:"Tourniquet!" (Victim begins to look nervous.)
Me:"Where do you put a tourniquet?"
Soldier:"Ummm. Between the wound and a joint..."
Me:"So you're going to put a tourniquet on his neck, doctor?"

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Fixes the problem by Herring (4.00 / 2) #11 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 12:32:49 PM EST
It will stop the bleed.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]
Stopping the bleed is always good by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 01:09:34 PM EST
Have you ever seen how much fluid can leak out of a human adult? I was warned and told but I still shocked the first time I saw a real bleed-out.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
w00t by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #13 Wed Dec 08, 2010 at 01:18:06 PM EST
Every one except the Zip750s

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
Sadly by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #25 Thu Dec 09, 2010 at 05:13:36 PM EST
I went Sparq rather than Zip.
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
I have a slightly OT question for you by iGrrrl (2.00 / 0) #26 Fri Dec 10, 2010 at 11:03:26 AM EST
I have an opportunity to take an EMT class. I have no intention of certifying or working as an EMT, but I want to have more in-depth training than a very good but standard first aid and CPR course. The reason is that when we're on the boat, I'm it.

I worry that it will be as much about how to work on the trucks as what to do in different situations. Their job, as you put it, is scoop and drop. So, given my goal, would it be worth my time and the instructor's, or not so much?
"I honestly pity the stupid motherfucker who tries to talk down to iGrrrl" - mrgoat

When is additional knowledge NOT worth it? by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #27 Mon Dec 20, 2010 at 01:00:47 PM EST
You answered your own question while you ere still tsyping it. But if you're on a boat in the middle of the ocean and you find yourself in the position of having to give CPR, give up after 20 minutes, tops. Ten realistically. There's no reason for you to die as well.

But take any and every class you can. Some off-the-cuff comment might just be the thing you remember which keeps someone getting, say, gangrene. Or helps you remember the easy way to close a wound. You can't know too much but you can always wish you knew more.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
A Day in the Life -- Fur stayed | 27 comments (27 topical, 0 hidden)