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By BadDoggie (Mon Oct 25, 2010 at 04:28:01 AM EST) pinball, sex, teenagers (all tags)
Some girl (probably a girl) showed up at the ex-pat's board asking for opinions on whether to fly over to see some guy in Hamburg. She said they'd met in Hawaii: she visited him on one island and he her on another. She also let it be known that she'd been to Germany before as an exchange student. She's 18 and her problem is that her parents want to know everything about the guy and don't think the trip is a good idea. Meanwhile the (former) host parents were quite nonchalant and basically said, "Why not?"

The Yanks and Brits reacted predictably.

What do you expect from prudes who prefer to stick their heads in the sand when it comes to sex? They support bullshit like "abstinence education" which has resulted in more anal sex than a warehouse full of Buttman DVDs (because it's not "sex" if the hoo-hoo-dilly isn't going into the cha-cha) and huge outbreaks of every STD/STI you can name. I learned just how different the German attitude to this is some years ago.

A guy named Friedrich called me out of the blue saying he got my number off the card in the pinball machine at $Bar. He had a pin which needed repairs. We arranged a time and date and I took a train to the outer reaches of the S-Bahn system, where he then picked me up and drove another 10 minutes to his house.

It took a few hours to fix everything and I was just finishing up around 6p.m. His wife asked if I'd like to stay for dinner and Friedrich started telling me just how good his Maria's Schweinebraten was. So I stayed.

There were two girls at the table, one about 7 and the other 10-ish. The younger one was a fussy eater, having once again decided she was a vegetarian a couple of days earlier. She does this once every couple of months, they explained. "The girls play pinball sometimes. It's our 14-year-old son who plays the machine the most," said Maria, "But he's upstairs right now."

"Is he being punished?" I asked.
"No, he's upstairs with his girlfriend."
"Aren't they having dinner?"
They both looked at me the way you look at a child when you tell him for the umpteenth time that yes, that fire is hot. All fire is hot. Always.
"No, they're having sex."

The look on my face told them they were going to have to spell things out for the 40-year-old idiot sitting at their table.

"We know they're having sex," explained Friedrich. "At least they're doing it here where they can be safe and have privacy and use protection. They're not ready to be parents."

"And we're sure as hell not ready to be grandparents," added Maria, laughing. The older girl giggled at the discussion of her brother getting it on while the younger one was so thoroughly disgusted that someone would be having sex in the same house in which she was trying to eat that she stormed off.

And we went back to eating our pork and potatoes. A few after-dinner games of pinball ensured the Kings and Queens machine was well and truly fixed, after which Friedrich drove me back to the train station. An hour and a half later I was home, €150 richer for my efforts, so I went back out in the hopes of finding my own companion for the evening. I ended up just playing pinball at $Bar until closing time.

< Books I've Read This Year 2010 | Insomnia's a bitch >
Attitude | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden)
In the UK by jump the ladder (4.00 / 4) #1 Mon Oct 25, 2010 at 04:46:59 AM EST
The 14 year old boy would be put on the sex offenders register, the girl put into care and the parents demonised in the press.

When I was 16 by yankeehack (4.00 / 2) #2 Mon Oct 25, 2010 at 06:05:48 AM EST
I had met and was dating this kid who had a form of childhood cancer. At that point he was fine, but he was coddled at a very young age and his social skills weren't all that. His parents spoiled the pants off of him - he got everything he possibly wanted.

He was 17 and lived in the next town over. He could drive - he had his own car - and his parents vastly preferred it if we hung out at their house. They let us, undisturbed, hang out in his room to "watch movies". With the door closed.


We at least waited until his parents weren't in the house to lose our virginity. And oh, that one weekend his parents went to Vegas.


Let's just say that I was his first girlfriend ever and he got a bit (ok a LOT) stalker-y after I broke up with him later that fall.


He passed away I think about 10 years ago. A couple more bouts of cancer. He did marry and have a few kids.
"...she dares to indulge in the secret sport. You can't be a MILF with the F, at least in part because the M is predicated upon it."-CBB

I say: why not, too? by bobdole (4.00 / 2) #3 Mon Oct 25, 2010 at 08:09:45 AM EST
She's 18. As long as someone tells her it is going to end badly either way. Don't go and she'll regret what could've been, go and have fun and regret what in the larger perspective was a waste of time and money - but she's a story and experience richer.
-- The revolution will not be televised.
IVMAWTP by curmudgeon (4.00 / 0) #6 Mon Oct 25, 2010 at 03:51:58 PM EST
The value of experiences almost always far outweighs the regrets, and if you don't take the opportunity, you still have the regret of passing up the experience.   Opportunties often only come once in life, and the time to make mistakes is when you're young.   You will always have regrets, far better to have the experience to go with them, rather than the wishing for the experience.

Note that 20 year old me was very, very timid, and feared the consequences far more than I should have.  Unfortunately, the consequence I never considered was ending up in middle age with lots I wish I had done, and promises and obligations that should be kept.  So while intellectually I now know the cost of inaction, I suppose I stil fear the consequences, and will end up a bitter old man wishing he had taken a different path.

Don't be me.
Get over it.
[ Parent ]
Why not? indeed by sugar spun (4.00 / 1) #4 Mon Oct 25, 2010 at 11:33:18 AM EST
At 18 she's going to make mistakes and do the wrong things and the wrong people.

She might as well get some unusual stories out of it.

as a slightly strange American by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Oct 25, 2010 at 03:45:15 PM EST
my response is "why not". shrug
If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.
that's not always so simple. by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #8 Mon Oct 25, 2010 at 07:22:49 PM EST

If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.
pursing that line usually entails by bobdole (2.00 / 0) #9 Tue Oct 26, 2010 at 12:10:46 PM EST
paying for it herself, too…
-- The revolution will not be televised.
why shouldn't she go? by Merekat (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Oct 27, 2010 at 06:32:17 AM EST
But if I were her, I'd make sure someone else knew where I was, just in case he's a nutter (assuming they've only met briefly before).

Attitude | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden)