Print Story A Day in the Life -- I Do Want What I Have Not Got
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By ReallyEvilCanine (Mon Oct 11, 2010 at 09:45:16 AM EST) A Day in the Life, LOL What?, ice cream, pizza, logs, pie, WTF (all tags)
A couple of years ago I was visiting my brother and he seemed like a changed man. It wasn't just that he was over his latest divorce but rather, there was a genuine and deep change in him. I knew he'd been seeing a shrink since a rather spectacular (and very public) flame-out.

He's since stopped seeing the shrink. "One day he told me a story," Bro told me, "and it all just clicked. And I was fine."

A story?

Poll: nuts
x-posted to da brog.



One day I walked into a Baskin Robbins ice cream shop and ordered a slice of pepperoni pizza.

"We're an ice cream shop, sir, " said the guy at the counter. "We don't serve pizza here." I was angry. I wanted a piece of pizza but this guy wouldn't sell me a piece. "What do you mean you don't have pizza! You're a restaurant! You have food! I want a slice of pepperoni pizza!" I screamed.

"We only have ice cream, sir," the guy replied. I was furious and stormed out of the place screaming.

The next day I went back to the Baskin Robbins. There was the guy again. "Gimme a slice of pepperoni pizza, please," I asked him. "I'm sorry sir, but this is an ice cream parlour. We only have ice cream. We don't have pizza here."

I started screaming at him again. "What the hell are you talking about?! I don't want any ice cream. I just want a damned piece of pizza!" He just stood there shaking his head, saying, "I'm sorry sir, but I can't help you." I was fit to be tied and stormed out of the place, hungry as hell and cursing up a storm.

The next day I went back again. "How can I help you, sir?"

"Hi there," I said with a smile. "I'd like to have a slice of pepperoni pizza, please."

"Sir, I keep telling you, we're an ice cream parlour, not a pizzeria. If you want pizza there's a place around the corner that makes great pizza. But we only have ice cream here. I would love to give you some pizza but we don't have any.  We just have ice cream."

I started banging my fists on the counter and screaming at the guy again. How dare he not serve me that stupid slice of pizza! I'm a paying customer! I want some pizza and this is a restaurant! I walked out furious and screaming some more.

Do you get it?

"And that's when I got it," said my brother. Yeah, I get it, too. If only such realisation could provide me the same calm it gave my brother you couldn't hide a basketball in that my-head-shaped-dent in front of my keyboard.

Buddy-boy doesn't get it, either.

We need to disable IE7 compatibility mode on the web server using custom headers
OK, fine. Do X, Y, and Z. Restart to clear all caches and Robert becomes the name of your father's brother.
Thanks for confirming disabling IE7 compatibility using {long, enumerated list of steps just in case}. Another part of my request you didn't answer was as how to confirm the results at the client side i.e. those settings are in effect i.e. how to confirm after making those changes that IE7 compatibility has been turned off. Are there any $YourBigApp logs that we can check?
A question I didn't answer perhaps because you didn't ask? No matter, the answer's simple. This is a Web server matter and as such, nothing we could log even if we wanted to. You'll know you've done it correctly if $OurBigApp works, which you've confirmed it now does. You can look in the Web server logs and contact the vendor if you need further data.
Not necessarily the answer I was looking for, I'll do some digging on my own.
You want that in a cone or a cup? Closed as a Root Cause: 6.5-No Customer Research with a side order of 17.
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A Day in the Life -- I Do Want What I Have Not Got | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden)
A better version goes... by anonimouse (4.00 / 3) #1 Mon Oct 11, 2010 at 10:05:28 AM EST
The Duck --------

One day, the duck walked into a chemist and asked, "Got any duck food?". The chemist replied, "Sorry mate, we don't sell food here." The duck turned around and walked out.

The next day, the duck returned to the chemist and asked, "Got any duck food?". The chemist replied, "Look, I told you! This is a chemist and we don't sell food here! Try a pet store or something!" The duck turned around and walked out.

The next day, the duck returned once again and asked, "Got any duck food?". The chemist, really pissed off at this point in time yelled, "LOOK! WE DON'T SELL DUCK FOOD HERE! SO GET OUT!! AND IF YOU RETURN HERE AGAIN, I'M GUNNA GET SOME NAILS AND A HAMMER AND NAIL YOUR BLOODY WEBBED FEET TO THE FLOOR! NOW PISS OFF!" The duck turned around and walked out.

The next day, the duck returned. He walked into the chemist and asked, "Got any nails?". The chemist, really pissed off yelled, "NO!!!!!!!" The duck said, "Good. Got any duck food?"



Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
I know that one as "grapes" by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Oct 11, 2010 at 10:20:48 AM EST
And it happens at a bar. But the... parable, I guess... is a bit different, in that the "duck" comes to realise he's getting ridiculously angry about things that he shouldn't; both that there's no duck food (or grapes) in the non-duckfood store and that no matter how many times he tries, the world ain't changing for him -- he has to make some sort of change.

The duck in the joke is just a cunt.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
I have a kid, therefore... by atreides (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Oct 11, 2010 at 08:54:21 PM EST
Your Koan sounds fat. by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #3 Mon Oct 11, 2010 at 04:12:40 PM EST

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

... And ammoniacal was enlightened. /nt by ni (4.00 / 1) #4 Mon Oct 11, 2010 at 05:24:36 PM EST



"These days it seems like sometimes dreams of Italian hyper-gonadism are all a man's got to keep him going." -- CRwM
[ Parent ]
A Day in the Life -- I Do Want What I Have Not Got | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden)