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By ReallyEvilCanine (Tue May 19, 2009 at 08:45:53 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, performance, SQL Server, fuckwits, pie (all tags)

Go Bother Ballmer

You have a car. The engine is knocking. It gets shitty mileage. It takes 40 seconds to get up to speed after stopping at a red light. All of a sudden you hear a bang and see a hole punched through the hood, the piston having been thrown. Do you then call Michelin to bitch about your problems? You do if you work for $PrivateFinanceAdvisors, with the logic that the tire company ought to be able to fix the problem that's causing the tires to turn too slowly.

x-posted to da brog.

SQL Server: Insufficient Memory Error
Insufficient Memory Error BPool: no remappable address found
Problem usaully resolves itself. When this error happens $YourBigApp users experience slow perf problem Sometimes SQL server fails over (this didn't happen today) This issue has been occuring for a while and it's random behavior.

One thing that it definitely isn't is "random", Sparky. The problem will completely disappear the instant you add the minimum spec'ed memory to the machine and move $OurBigApp off the fucking underpowered database server and onto a dual-proc box with more than 500MB of memory just the way we told you to eight fucking months ago.

I don't believe that memory is our problem we face. We need a solution to this error! $YourBigApp is too slow and databse failing over!

File a ticket with Microsoft and tell them they need to make SQL Server run your 380GB production database in under 100MB of memory. With what appears to be a 486 DX/66 processor.

I just dumped a fucking laptop last week which has more power than their rack-mount which is groaning under the strain of a SQL Server and a dozen enterprise apps. That DB server memory problem is clearly being caused by our software.

You know how this one's being closed: Seh. Venn. TEEN.

< The new Star Trek | I think I might be headed towards death. >

A Day in the Life | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden)

WTF? by Phil the Canuck (4.00 / 6) #1 Tue May 19, 2009 at 08:51:24 AM EST

"Insufficient Memory Error"

"I don't believe that memory is our problem we face."

...and I'm having trouble finding work?

They can't fire anybody these days... by gzt (4.00 / 2) #3 Tue May 19, 2009 at 09:38:48 AM EST

...because they wouldn't be allowed to hire a replacement.

[ Parent ]

Sometimes by brokkr (4.00 / 3) #5 Tue May 19, 2009 at 09:42:00 AM EST

it would still be an improvement.
--
Deyr fé, deyja frændr, deyr sjalfr it sama,
ek veit einn, at aldrei deyr: dómr um dau∂an hvern.

[ Parent ]

: Management rarely realizes this. by gzt (4.00 / 3) #6 Tue May 19, 2009 at 09:46:28 AM EST

They only see the size of their fiefdom decreasing, which they will only do if they see some concrete benefit (rewards for cost-cutting).

[ Parent ]

To be fair, it is a Microsoft error by lm (2.00 / 0) #12 Tue May 19, 2009 at 08:48:01 PM EST

As someone who once spent a lot of time trying to figure out why a Windows box kept firing `Registry Size Limit' errors when the registry was no where near the registry size limit, I can tell you first hand that you can't always take Microsoft errors at face value.

OTOH, having a minimally specced machine is asking for trouble.

Kindness is an act of rebellion.

[ Parent ]

Oh come on! It's just a database! by greyrat (4.00 / 3) #2 Tue May 19, 2009 at 09:15:43 AM EST

SQL Server ran just fine on this server when we bought it in 2000. And SQL Server is SQL Server! Regardless of the patches and service packs and other upgrades that have been applied! In fact, "upgrade" means that it should be faster, right? So it's clearly $YourBigApp! Escalate! Escalate! Escalate!

: I tried to tell them by anonimouse (4.00 / 1) #4 Tue May 19, 2009 at 09:39:19 AM EST

...it'd be running fine if it were running a MySQL database under Linux, but did they listen...

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
: Was it just me by Breaker (4.00 / 2) #13 Tue May 19, 2009 at 11:05:13 PM EST

that read "Escalate! Escalate! Escalate!" in a Dalek voice?

[ Parent ]

A 380gig db by jayhawk88 (2.00 / 0) #7 Tue May 19, 2009 at 10:09:56 AM EST

On a severely underpowered server that is running multiple apps. I've got a 45gig db on a dual proc 2.4Ghz, 8 gig ram box doing nothing but SQL and it takes over an hour to complete the backup of that. Wonder what their backup situation looks like?

: Back-ups? by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 2) #9 Tue May 19, 2009 at 12:06:04 PM EST

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
Yeah right.
the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia
[ Parent ]

I had one like that recently by infinitera (4.00 / 1) #8 Tue May 19, 2009 at 10:22:47 AM EST

Us: Your system is slow because of disk contention.
Customer: Our system has adequate resources, fix your buggy product and don't ask us to change the hardware.
Us: WTF? You're sharing LUNs between systems??
Customer: We were hoping you wouldn't notice that. But if you really think it's a problem, I guess we can change that.

[…] a professional layabout. Which I aspire to be, but am not yet. — CheeseburgerBrown

Horror stories by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #10 Tue May 19, 2009 at 02:00:47 PM EST

I am reminded of a time back in the late eighties I had to do some database work for a contracting house that was working with the US Navy. We were told that the software was to be run on a "Standard PC Compatible machine".

When I got there to install the software, I discovered, to my horror, that the machine was a 64k original IBM PC.
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

: dBase II/III FTW by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #11 Tue May 19, 2009 at 02:46:00 PM EST

I was making some money from a company based in Crystal City in the mid-'80s. Company name was two syllables, began with a G and rhymed with dilemma.
the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia
[ Parent ]

Awesome by duxup (4.00 / 2) #14 Thu May 21, 2009 at 05:42:39 PM EST

That is pretty much mostly my job right there.

"Shit you're the only one who picks up the phone or answers e-mails within a few days so this problem must be your problem because I don’t want to do anything else with it!"

“You’re not sending my box any light…on eight different SFPs.”

No joke this was the gist of a recent response:

“We power cycled our insanely expensive equipment that plugs into your box this past weekend because we couldn’t get logged into it. We still can’t get logged into it. We also power cycled your box by mistake. Could there have been a problem and your box downgraded its code for some reason when it was power cycled? Are you sure it isn’t a code problem on your box?”

:o

____

: /FACEPALM by greyrat (4.00 / 2) #15 Sat May 23, 2009 at 02:44:06 PM EST

[ Parent ]

A Day in the Life | 15 comments (15 topical, 0 hidden)

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