I've learned to be therapeutically tactful, and I can play departmental politics with astounding subtlety, but in normal conversation I'm very much about telling you exactly what I think. Normally I can hold it together so as to be honest but not offensive - if my opinion is negative I perform a swift change of focus. Say something vague and then say something distracting. Simple. I'm not one of those people who's flagrantly rude under the guise of being "totally honest". I'm not an asshole.

Until now. Pregnancy has taken every shred of my sense of what is socially appropriate, along with my memory and my waistline.

A couple of days ago I was in a clothing shop with a maternity section. Their fitting room was closed, and there was a girl looking critically at herself in a middle-of-the-shop mirror, wearing a top that she was clearly pretending was a dress and a pair of shiny shoes. Before I could catch my tongue and walk away, I told her that the dress was too short and she'd have to wear leggings with it.

She glared at me ferociously, as she removed the shoes and revealed their price tag.

I was completely frozen with horror. There's no recovering from that, but for some reason my mouth (enjoying its unaccustomed freedom) felt obliged to try. I said, Oh, thank God. Those shoes are really ugly, and scurried out of the shop.

Hopefully I'll get my tact back (and my waist, come to think of it). I've always mocked my mother for doing stuff like this, and she maintains it's accidental and she experiences the mouth working as though it were an out of body experience outside her control. Is this my future?