Print Story Eight Years.
By nightflameblue (Tue May 06, 2008 at 07:19:31 PM EST) (all tags)
Eight years ago today, well, almost yesterday now, Mrs. NFB and myself walked the proverbial aisle.  Though for us, the aisle was a grassy walk from a house to a cool little heart-shaped wreath in my parent's yard.

So where do we sit eight years in?

We remember being told a lot those first four or five years, "you guys don't even know if you belong together yet.  Until you've been married seven years or more, you have no idea."

We always laughed it off and said to each other we knew.  It wasn't always joy and wonderfulness, but it was far more that than anything else.  Even at our worst, we're still better together than either of us ever was apart.

So I guess that's where we're at eight years in.  We're happy together.

We went to our restaurant today.  They're closing this summer at that location and setting up a new place.  It felt odd, sitting at that table one last time.  Our first date was there, eight years and a few months ago.  Our wedding party was there.  Many celebratory dates there over the years.  This time we went with mom and her husband.  We had our picture taken at our table, by the pole where we shared our first evening together.  Our waitress joked with us asking, "so, do we owe you money, or do you owe us money?"  Truth be told, had someone asked, I'd say we both would have bet against ourselves that night.  Uncomfortable, nervous, barely able to hold a conversation.  It's a lot different now, obviously.

It felt weird saying goodbye to that place.  Every relationship has its tent-poles.  That table, that restaurant, was one of ours.  Not exactly a cornerstone that we can't live without, but a nice place to visit to remind ourselves how far we've come together.  Remembering that night of awkward conversation, uncomfortable silences, smiling at each other now in relaxed memory, thinking back to how unhinged we both felt in those first moments.

Our anniversary was a whirlwind of activity this year.  Over the past three days we've done a lot of work, but we did it all together.  And as I told her, that's what matters.  Some people celebrate an anniversary in suits and dresses, fine meals and expensive hotel rooms.  We celebrate with trips to the junkyard, covered in sweat and yard dirt, content with holding hands during the trip, and looking forward to sharing more when we're finished with the day's work.

Eight years.  We're barely even getting started.

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Eight Years. | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden)
Raises a glass. by hulver (4.00 / 2) #1 Tue May 06, 2008 at 10:31:49 PM EST
Here's to many more.
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
Congrats by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed May 07, 2008 at 01:34:08 AM EST
We got married in our backyard, a church would have been too complicated.

Cheers! by joh3n (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed May 07, 2008 at 02:27:42 AM EST

I just ate about 7 pounds of meat

many happy returns! by clock (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed May 07, 2008 at 03:36:02 AM EST

I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

Here's to You... by ObviousTroll (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed May 07, 2008 at 04:54:06 AM EST
But don't... relax? Take things for granted?

SWHTL and I have gone through phases where one or the other was less enthused than they used to be about being married - but for both of us, the secret has been to remember that the other person comes first. I always try to find ways to show that I care, and so does she. We carve time for each other, we date... for a lack of a better word... and if we aren't as clingy as we were when we were 21, we are still always aware of each other - how we're feeling, how we're coping, etcetera.

When SWHTL goes away for a weekend, I feel lopsided.

Has anybody seen my clue? I know I had it when I came in here.

Oh yeah. by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed May 07, 2008 at 12:37:56 PM EST
We definitely still take "us" time.  And both of us pretty much have a default operating mode of "how does this affect the other person" before making most decisions.  We've been that way from the start though, so when other people tell us how hard it is to keep a relationship strong, it doesn't make much sense to either of us.

We won't be taking each other for granted, that's for certain.  We both agree that our relationship is the easiest thing in our lives, and gives far greater return than any investment either of us has to contribute to make it work.  We probably think about it more than we need to, but that's probably because we both have things in our past that were so damn much work for so little return that we never want to slip into complacency.

So, thanks.  And don't worry too much about us.

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Eight Years. | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden)