Print Story I feel so dirty
Sex
By anonimouse (Tue May 06, 2008 at 09:00:28 AM EST) (all tags)
..but not for what you think


I posted a condensed diary of the last week on Kuro5hin. I knew I should've worn protection.

I think an intensive course of therapy and treatment is called for. To avoid risk of infection from K5 I've reposted it below (slightly edited due to Husi PowerScoop(TM) Technology.


How I got back with my ex (thanks to her ex.)

A few weeks ago, I got a really strange message from my ex's BF. He hadn't spoken to me before which made this really odd. Apparently, he and my ex had an argument, and she'd clocked him one. Hard.

I gave it a week or two, then I wrote her an email asking how she was. Literally a 1 sentence email. I didn't expect a reply since my previous attempts to speak to her since we broke up had been cut short. I got a two sentence email back, then after a couple of emails, she asked if my number was still the same.

The next few texts were a little eye opening; she said she'd dumped the boyfriend and then followed it with "God, I'm dying for a shag!". It wasn't quite an invitation, but it seemed the door was open a little...

I arranged to meet for a drink, and we went round the center of London. She admitted she still liked me, and soon was kissing me. Things went on from there.

One problem with being 20 years older than your girlfriend is that I'd forgot exactly how energetic "sex with the ex" was, and was a bit short of breath. Still, was happy to note I still got a good rating when about a week later, she showed me her diary, where it said:
"And the physical side: Oh! My! God!"
I think oiling her body with ylang-ylang massage oil helped things....

Unfortunately she's very moody when I leave her to go home, but I went down this weekend, and I'm happy to say that, whilst she was still bringing up issues about why we split up, I had a generally good time.

Turns out the ex-BF had really blown a fuse, accusing her of sleeping with me during their relationship, and on top of that I don't think that suggesting a threesome with her sister went down too well either. Still I can't help feeling grateful; this weekend I had the best sleep I'd had since we broke up.

Not sure where this is going though. I'm really glad she's back, but she keeps raising doubts I thought she'd got over, so I get the feeling I'm hanging on by my fingertips.

< Playin' with my new toy. | Eight Years. >
I feel so dirty | 21 comments (21 topical, 0 hidden)
The thing is, you're a chronic case by ObviousTroll (4.00 / 4) #1 Tue May 06, 2008 at 09:04:26 AM EST
Clearly, you keep engaging in behaviors that lead to re-infection. I think the best we can do is get you into a 12-step program so you can learn to avoid the situations where posting to K5 becomes likely.

--
Has anybody seen my clue? I know I had it when I came in here.
#SIGH# I knew we'd get the full story eventually. by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #2 Tue May 06, 2008 at 09:50:40 AM EST
Now, where's my old K5 password...

Just to keep the fish biting by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #3 Tue May 06, 2008 at 11:18:36 AM EST
...I have appended the story here

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
Well then, that just makes my post look silly. by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #4 Tue May 06, 2008 at 11:29:20 AM EST


[ Parent ]
Not at all by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #5 Tue May 06, 2008 at 11:31:38 AM EST
It highlighted a problem with reeling the punters in that I was happy to fix.

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
no. we can't. by greyshade (4.00 / 1) #7 Tue May 06, 2008 at 12:08:28 PM EST
So how does this work again? Now it's your turn, right?

"The other part of the fun is nibbling on them when they get off work." -vorheesleatherface
You're not very good at this. by blixco (4.00 / 3) #9 Tue May 06, 2008 at 03:11:36 PM EST
I'd suggest practice @ digg.  Find the story about the latest game copy protection, and mention that there's nothing wrong with copy protection for games.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
I missed that one. by blixco (4.00 / 1) #22 Thu May 08, 2008 at 09:48:21 AM EST
I know you're not a troll.  I'm a fan of yours.

But this attempt at trolling was poor.  Trolling doesn't require being a troll.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin

[ Parent ]
I am known by blixco (4.00 / 3) #24 Thu May 08, 2008 at 02:50:54 PM EST
for my annoying behaviors.
---------------------------------
"You bring the weasel, I'll bring the whiskey." - kellnerin
[ Parent ]
Noob mistake, asking for a threesome by Rogerborg (4.00 / 4) #10 Tue May 06, 2008 at 11:30:44 PM EST
I assume that you'll do the smart thing, and just start shagging her sister on the side.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
Even that's chancy by jxg (4.00 / 3) #11 Wed May 07, 2008 at 12:19:39 AM EST
Go with her niece instead.

[ Parent ]
I bet her mother's still got it going on by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #12 Wed May 07, 2008 at 12:52:23 AM EST
Plus the genetic evidence would indicate that she'll be a slack-knickered tramp.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
Mother? Please by jxg (4.00 / 1) #13 Wed May 07, 2008 at 01:32:17 AM EST
Anyone old enough to be capable of bearing a child is too old to be used for Mr. Mouse's pleasure.

[ Parent ]
Your moral outrage trolldom fa1lz it. by anonimouse (4.00 / 4) #14 Wed May 07, 2008 at 02:53:39 AM EST
Your pretence of moral outrage is ruined by the facts. This is not even good enough to pass muster on Kuro5hin.

Disclaimer: Noone under the age of consent, or childbearing age was used in the writing of this diary.


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
OK, my bad by jxg (4.00 / 3) #15 Wed May 07, 2008 at 03:29:02 AM EST
Make sure you let your friends and family know you want that in your obituary.

He was described as a good man; a kind and decent man; a principled and moral man who boasted of not having sex with anyone under childbearing age...

[ Parent ]
I prefer by anonimouse (4.00 / 2) #19 Wed May 07, 2008 at 07:41:45 AM EST
He was a good man, who when sought by women who were dying for a shag, made every effort to help them in their hour of need.....

Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
Please let me know ... by Tonatiuh (2.00 / 0) #25 Sun May 11, 2008 at 03:35:33 AM EST
... if you can't fulfil your self imposed altruistic sacrifice, I will be willing to immolate myself in the benefit of others.

[ Parent ]
(Comment Deleted) by SunlightGirl (2.00 / 0) #26 Mon Apr 06, 2009 at 11:18:39 PM EST

This comment has been deleted by SunlightGirl



[ Parent ]
Is this the Ex we saw in the shower ? by Phage (4.00 / 1) #16 Wed May 07, 2008 at 03:41:44 AM EST


Could be by anonimouse (2.00 / 0) #18 Wed May 07, 2008 at 07:23:04 AM EST


Girls come and go but a mortgage is for 25 years -- JtL
[ Parent ]
Asense win! by Merekat (4.00 / 5) #17 Wed May 07, 2008 at 04:15:14 AM EST
'Why you have Candida' followed by 'Yeast Infection Causes'.

I feel so dirty | 21 comments (21 topical, 0 hidden)