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SWFC #0

By R343L (Tue Apr 08, 2008 at 05:51:56 PM EST) funchallenge, swfc (all tags)

That's "Spoken Word Fun Challenge Number 0".

Update [2008-4-14 0:3:35 by R343L]:Because I can (and someone asked), the deadline is extended until Wednesday midnight.

Today in channel, komet broke out his microphone and demand that we tell him what to record. I suggested he record some piano music, but he rightfully pointed out a microphone is unnecessary for that (my trombone not having MIDI out of course confused the matter for me.) Several suggestions from the floor and then sometime later komet presented a wonderful recording of a poem I had never heard.

I hope he posts a link here and hopefully why he chose it.

Indeed, this is the call for everyone to post their "spoken word fun challenge" entry. The zero-eth theme is "something you like" -- that is, dead simple. (I'm hoping komet's poem isn't some poem he actually hates intensely thus ruining the theme from the get-go, but I suspect this is not the case.)

My entry shall be posted as a comment this evening.

Update [2008-4-8 23:24:28 by R343L]: It was pointed out we need a deadline to be a proper *FC. I am going to suggest Sunday, April 13th Midnight Pacific Standard Time (that is the border between Sunday and Monday, yo). But seriously, this is #0 and I don't even know what judging would entail so do what you like. :)

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SWFC #0 | 55 comments (55 topical, 0 hidden)

When? by ucblockhead (4.00 / 3) #1 Tue Apr 08, 2008 at 06:11:27 PM EST

For I must wait until no mocking spouses are within earshot.
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

So, um... by ucblockhead (4.00 / 2) #14 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 01:41:43 PM EST

Here is something. For the record, I did not write this.
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

[ Parent ]

: That reminds me of this song of mine by fluffy (4.00 / 2) #18 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 06:06:21 PM EST

(because I am a complete egomaniac)
Robot Baby
busy bees buzz | sockpuppet revolution
[ Parent ]

and here I am ... sort of by R343L (4.00 / 1) #2 Tue Apr 08, 2008 at 07:34:06 PM EST

Does one ever get to like the sound of one's voice?

Anyway, I am as yet unable to post mine (it's done really!) as I realized my ISP account is not a good place -- it has some ridiculously small amount of transfer such that not many of you would have to download in a month to kill my account. I shall have to talk to people.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

Upload it here by hulver

(4.00 / 2) #5 Tue Apr 08, 2008 at 09:28:25 PM EST

If anybody needs more disk space or a larger file size to upload their stuff I can increase it no problem.
--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

[ Parent ]

hulver is quite right by R343L (4.00 / 1) #8 Wed Apr 09, 2008 at 03:16:47 AM EST

Some Leaves of Grass.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

[ Parent ]

You are too much for me. by hulver

(4.00 / 2) #11 Wed Apr 09, 2008 at 12:03:25 PM EST

That's good. My only comment would be to slow down a bit, you speak a bit fast and I think it loses some of it's power because of that.

I enjoyed it.
--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

[ Parent ]

: indeed by R343L (4.00 / 1) #12 Wed Apr 09, 2008 at 12:34:45 PM EST

Listening to myself I realized it (the first two takes were waaaaay too fast). But my voice was disappearing (I was getting sick -- now complete today with mucous and headache!) so I put it to bed quick.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot
[ Parent ]

Hmmm... by chuckles (4.00 / 3) #3 Tue Apr 08, 2008 at 07:40:20 PM EST

Perhaps a reading of Beowulf in its original Old High Klingon?

"The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin [...] would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities"

cool by Phil Urich (4.00 / 2) #4 Tue Apr 08, 2008 at 09:06:16 PM EST

I actually have just the piece in mind; I'm kindof terrible at reading poetry out loud, I think, but I'd love to be really able to and the piece I'm thinking of is one I flubbed once which I desperately wish to redeem myself for :)

Right now though it's the early night and the walls are paper thin in this place. I'm sure everyone's trying to get back to sleep right now too, since some random drunk-sounding bitch kept calling and yelling "stop calling me!", to which I always responded "You're the one calling ME! Who the fuck even ARE you?" but invariably she'd have hung up by that point.

Excellent! by Breaker (4.00 / 9) #6 Tue Apr 08, 2008 at 11:08:15 PM EST

Poorly defined scope
No evaluation criterion
Vague reference to something similar that was SHINY
Short deadline

This is just like being at work!

Well here is what I recorded by komet (4.00 / 2) #7 Wed Apr 09, 2008 at 02:17:14 AM EST

Link

I still hate my voice, but the Americans are apparently gullible enough to think it is acceptable.

--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.

: thanks komet! by R343L (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Apr 09, 2008 at 03:17:36 AM EST

I did mention this part of American susceptibility to British accents, right? Still, I think it was nice. Others thought it were nice that aren't susceptible.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot
[ Parent ]

War of the worlds by hulver

(4.00 / 2) #13 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 12:20:37 PM EST

CAUTION: This is a big file. 3.3mb, and nearly 15 minutes long. I think I might have gone a bit mad.

Dead London
--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

it cut off! by R343L (4.00 / 1) #17 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 06:05:03 PM EST

Right at the end! In the middle of a sentence! And I don't have a print copy any more! (Okay, fine, I can read it online ...)

Rachael

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

[ Parent ]

: I know by hulver (4.00 / 2) #21 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 09:39:24 PM EST

I recorded it all in one go, and cut the screw ups out later on, but I messed some of them up. By the time I got to the end I was sick of hearing my own voice and just thought "fuck it, upload it and be done", so I did.
--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
[ Parent ]

Paper, Scissors, Rock by ana

(4.00 / 2) #15 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 05:01:13 PM EST

This'd be me, reading a story I wrote a few years ago, and once performed live. It's about 5 min or so, and, because i'm inept with the whole sound engineer thing, 6-ish megs after you unzip it.

This whole reading aloud thing is fraught with errors and mistakes. Hope you enjoy.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

: a lovely reading by alphagirl (4.00 / 2) #44 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 09:49:53 PM EST

and a very nice little story as well. thanks

[ Parent ]

I did not write this by fluffy (4.00 / 3) #16 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 05:10:21 PM EST

written by some guy named Charles Dodgson
busy bees buzz | sockpuppet revolution

A poem by motty

(4.00 / 2) #19 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 06:07:22 PM EST

Ashrei HaZorim by Avraham Ben-Yitzhak. Translation (poor, by me) here.

I amd itn ecaptiaghle of drinking sthis d dar - Dr T

not a poem per se by dev trash (4.00 / 2) #20 Thu Apr 10, 2008 at 06:25:59 PM EST

But it's poetry, I mean if you get drunk enough, and have bad hearing.

Spoken Word

--
Click

my trombone not having MIDI by wiredog (4.00 / 2) #22 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 03:01:30 AM EST

Why not? How hard can it be to digitize your trombone?

Wii Trombone, anyone?

Ooooh! Wii Marching Band!

Earth First!
_{(We can strip mine the rest later.)}

MIDI is pretty limited by fluffy (3.00 / 3) #31 Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 01:02:31 PM EST

It was designed with a very keyboard-centric view of things, and really the vast majority of instruments can't really be expressed well in MIDI. MIDI itself doesn't store any sound data, and trombones don't have discrete notes (and MIDI's workarounds for that are hacky and poorly-designed, and even something as simple as a glissando over the whole scale is unlikely to come out right) and there's a bit more subtlety to the notes themselves than just how hard they were played (MIDI does have a 'breath control' channel but it's not really specific to anything).

Even if you did somehow capture everything that goes into a trombone performance, you'd then have to deal with how to actually synthesize it on playback, which is surprisingly non-trivial.

Basically, the best way to capture a trombone performance is with a microphone into a digital audio file.
busy bees buzz | sockpuppet revolution

[ Parent ]

This is true by Herring (4.00 / 1) #33 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 01:39:17 AM EST

Alo, with a keyboard (and MIDI), you can't raise the volume of a note after it's started playing - which you can do with any stringed or sind instrument. OK, you get a swell pedal on most church organs, but that raises the volume of everything.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]

: MIDI doesn't even fully cover a real piano by fluffy (4.00 / 2) #35 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 07:03:05 AM EST

The damper pedal is just on and off, rather than a continuous motion like on a real thing. It doesn't matter most of the time but it's nice to be able to do a nice fizzly slow muting of the strings or whatever. Same goes for the individual keys, as well.
busy bees buzz | sockpuppet revolution
[ Parent ]

(Comment Deleted) by yicky yacky (4.00 / 2) #23 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 04:39:13 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by yicky yacky

bedtime! by clock (4.00 / 4) #24 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 04:38:34 PM EST

and a story! featuring senor pocketwatch on backing vocals...

_{I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin}

erm, is this cheating? by R343L (4.00 / 3) #25 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 05:09:53 PM EST

I mean, I know I didn't really define very clear rules, but are cute baby attentive noises really fair, I ask you?

Rachael

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

[ Parent ]

: i'm here to win, baybay! by clock (4.00 / 3) #26 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 05:22:34 PM EST

it's all about winning! or um...something. i can't control his noises...i just got lucky...in so many ways.

_{I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin}

[ Parent ]

Okay, so I've had a few beers... by toxicfur (4.00 / 3) #27 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 06:02:26 PM EST

but that made my eyes a little glisteny. Awwww. Goodnight Moon with baby noises. Awwww.
--
To Rollins lesbians are like cuddly pandas: cute, exotic, forest-dwelling, dangerous when riled and unable to produce offspring without assistance.-CRwM

[ Parent ]

: heh... by clock (4.00 / 3) #28 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 06:33:23 PM EST

yeah. he really is the best. and he loves his night-night story. we read it twice and then hit the PJs! it's a dad thing...

_{I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin}

[ Parent ]

Goodnight Moon by ni (4.00 / 3) #29 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 06:52:09 PM EST

is the only book I really remember from my extreme youth. ["extreme youth", n: That sort of youth involving loud music and rocket powered snowboarding.] It is one damn fine book.

"These days it seems like sometimes dreams of Italian hyper-gonadism are all a man's got to keep him going." -- CRwM

[ Parent ]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ by ucblockhead (4.00 / 3) #52 Thu Apr 17, 2008 at 11:05:11 AM EST

/me falls asleep.
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

[ Parent ]

(Comment Deleted) by tuscoops (4.00 / 1) #30 Fri Apr 11, 2008 at 09:12:45 PM EST

This comment has been deleted by tuscoops

: Ok, ok by tuscoops (4.00 / 1) #34 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 04:05:08 AM EST

"En Gallop" redux: here and here.

[ Parent ]

Hrm... by MisterQueue (4.00 / 1) #32 Sat Apr 12, 2008 at 06:44:14 PM EST

I could not decide between two readings.

But I enjoyed doing both because of the mix in similarity and dichotomy. If you know the references of course.

-Q
--------------
"When I get bored, I pretend I am MisterQueue." -DullTrev

Ok, last-minute entry... by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #36 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 03:39:30 PM EST

because I procrastinate. And here's a link. I didn't get around to asking hulver for a bit more disk space here. Sorry for the .zip -- it seems to be a mac.com automagical thing.

The poem is Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, by Anne Sexton.
--
To Rollins lesbians are like cuddly pandas: cute, exotic, forest-dwelling, dangerous when riled and unable to produce offspring without assistance.-CRwM

Oh here is another thing by fluffy (4.00 / 1) #37 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 06:50:20 PM EST

I am not reading it, rather it is a test of the new "Alex" voice in Leopard, doing an uncanny-valley reading of some rants that someone posted to the Song Fight message board. Poor June rants
busy bees buzz | sockpuppet revolution

this won me a rubber chicken once by alphagirl (4.00 / 3) #38 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 08:39:02 PM EST

I'll let you decide if that's a good thing.

Um. So, this is my reading of an untitled poem I wrote c. 2002. You can call it Ribs, if that suits you.

also, hi. I'm new here.

Count the first: by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #39 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 09:03:24 PM EST

You're not a girl.

Count the second: You're not new here.

Thanks for the file.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]

hint: by MillMan

(4.00 / 2) #40 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 09:12:13 PM EST

you've met this person.

When I'm imprisoned as an enemy combatant, will you blog about it?

[ Parent ]

counterpoint by alphagirl (4.00 / 3) #41 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 09:22:00 PM EST

I can see my breasts from here. Not that breasts make a woman, but well... it is the most immediate proof that presents itself. Granted, I may not behave like a girl a good 50% of the time, but I most certainly have the bits, and the x chromosomes.

As for not being new here, I'm not sure I can offer any proof of that. My previous post was my first, that's the simple truth.

And millman is correct, I did meet you.

[ Parent ]

Did I meet you at the SAM in December? by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #42 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 09:28:34 PM EST

Point aside, your comment caused me to mis-spell "SAM".

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]

it was just after Thanksgiving by alphagirl (4.00 / 1) #43 Sun Apr 13, 2008 at 09:46:28 PM EST

but yes, that be me.

[ Parent ]

Well then, welcome aboard! by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #45 Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 05:05:01 AM EST

This place is different than reality, in that I don't fall from rocking chairs here.
Point aside, your comment induced temporal disorientation.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]

: my apologies by alphagirl (4.00 / 1) #48 Tue Apr 15, 2008 at 10:01:34 AM EST

sorry for the temporal and typographic distortion, and thanks for the welcome.

[ Parent ]

hello! by R343L (2.00 / 0) #46 Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 07:42:08 AM EST

And thanks for participating in my lark.

So to speak.

"There will be time, there will be time / To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet." -- Eliot

[ Parent ]

: but of course by alphagirl (4.00 / 1) #49 Tue Apr 15, 2008 at 10:04:41 AM EST

plus, I had to stop lurking and finally post. you gave me a good excuse. :)

[ Parent ]

Well by Gedvondur (4.00 / 3) #47 Mon Apr 14, 2008 at 06:00:25 PM EST

Here's my shot at it.

One of my wife's favorite poems, if somewhat irreverent. I hope you enjoy.

Gedvondur
"...I almost puked like a pregnant StackyMcRacky." --MillMan

I stumbled across this by ucblockhead (4.00 / 2) #50 Wed Apr 16, 2008 at 06:49:12 PM EST

Apparently I am a physics professor in another dimension.
---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

: Dooooooood by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #51 Thu Apr 17, 2008 at 10:38:58 AM EST

My head asplode.
Gedvondur
"...I almost puked like a pregnant StackyMcRacky." --MillMan
[ Parent ]

yay late entry! by misslake (4.00 / 1) #53 Thu Apr 17, 2008 at 07:37:11 PM EST

i haven't listened to this yet. one take.

What Canadians Don't Know About Love by Irving Layton from "Love Where the Nights Are Long"

I think... by ana

(4.00 / 1) #55 Fri Apr 18, 2008 at 02:09:06 AM EST

you mean this file.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]

: yes, yes i did that one wrong. by misslake (4.00 / 1) #56 Fri Apr 18, 2008 at 03:27:15 PM EST

here it is:
http://www.hulver.com/scoop-files/2043/c3.mp3
for real this time.

[ Parent ]

Even later late entry... by 606 (4.00 / 2) #54 Thu Apr 17, 2008 at 08:54:45 PM EST

Me reading P.J. O'Rourke's essay How To Drive Fast On Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed And Not Spill Your Drink. Yes, it's highly offensive.

I think I'm channeling Yahtzee Crosswell but despite that it's still 17 minutes long.

Here: http://mike.verdone.ca/media/606/orourke-spoken-word.mp3

Special thanks to ni who recommended me this essay a few months back. The book Republican Party Reptile from whence this essay is sourced is damn excellent.

-----
imagine dancing banana here

SWFC #0 | 55 comments (55 topical, 0 hidden)