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Terms of Enragement

un·planned (ŭn-plānd')
   1. Not intended; unintentional.
         a. Having no particular purpose, organization, or structure; random.
         b. Not thought out or prepared in advance; spontaneous: an unplanned adventure; an unplanned picnic.

Poll: Help me chart my course
x-posted to da brog, sans poll (as usual).

My E-Mail today:



$ServiceApplication will have an unplanned emergency outage for important patching tomorrow, 01 MARCH 2008, from 07:00 to 08:00 EST.

Customers will not be able to log issues during this time. Employees will not be able to access the database at this time. Customers should call the 800- hotline.

blah blah blah

If you know it's going to happen at some time in the future, and you send out messages to warn people that it will happen in the future, then it can't fucking be "unplanned" you fucking morons!

Maybe someone can explain to me why we're keeping this Confidential. If the customers won't be able to log in, how the fuck will they know to call the fucking 800-number?

How the fuck does anything get done around here when everything is designed and run by mental midgets who make junior beauty pageant contestants look like fucking atomic physicists?! I heard less idiocy from my cow-orkers at McDonald's when I worked there as a teenager. At times it's tempting to just go back to fast food management, where the system in place is sensible and the hardest things to deal with are ensuring the teenagers show up when scheduled and that they ask all customers if they want fries with that. Not terribly challenging, I admit, but I wouldn't be so prone to smashing my head into walls and my desk.

Making fast food look even more attractive is the installation of wireless in most of 'em, so my actual routine wouldn't change terribly much. If only it paid a little better.

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A Day in the Life | 12 comments (12 topical, 0 hidden)
As an astrophysicist by joh3n (4.00 / 2) #1 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 06:25:04 AM EST
I take serious offense to your diary.  We astrophysicists are much more attractive than those pathetic atomic physicists, and thus it is WE whom the mental midgets should aspire to.


I just ate about 7 pounds of meat

Bah! by ucblockhead (4.00 / 4) #4 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 07:47:19 AM EST
You guys think you're so haven't found *ONE* invading alien deathstar yet!
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
Oh, but we have by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 10:43:06 AM EST
we just aren't telling you.

I just ate about 7 pounds of meat

[ Parent ]
crap by ucblockhead (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 10:53:20 AM EST
Is there room on the space ark?
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
not for those by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #8 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 11:10:44 AM EST
who mock us.

I just ate about 7 pounds of meat

[ Parent ]
I wouldn't mock you! by ucblockhead (4.00 / 2) #9 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 11:15:39 AM EST
I'd never mock you, oh Lord Dr. Joh3n!
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
Lord Joh3n Worfin or Joh3n Bigboote? by BadDoggie (2.00 / 0) #12 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 03:40:44 PM EST
Big-booTAY! Big-booTAY! Understand, monkeyboy?


OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?

[ Parent ]
Oh! My brother! It's the same everywhere. by greyrat (4.00 / 1) #2 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 06:41:13 AM EST
Even at the fast food joints. That's why we have Internet radio and headphones. And sweet creamy rum to drink every night when we get home...

It's unplanned if the warning time is less than by notafurry (4.00 / 1) #3 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 07:22:40 AM EST
the one specified by the SLA or OLA.

e.g. our SLA says our customers will have a week's warning before downtime. If there's an emergency need - system failure that requires immediate replacement and for some reason it'll require downtime, or an emergency security patch, or whatever - we have a process we have to follow for it, and the customers get notified of "emergency unplanned work" even though it's not, strictly speaking, unplanned.

Man... by Breaker (4.00 / 2) #7 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 11:07:42 AM EST
I thought we were about to read about some ReallyEvilPuppies on the way there.

Luckily, it's just corporate fucktitude. 

We had a power cut today by Rogerborg (2.00 / 0) #10 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 11:40:59 AM EST
When the power came back on, we then sat through another outage as IT finally got around to plugging all our server hardware into the UPS that they installed 6 months ago.

When the network came back up, they were publicly thanked for the speed with which they performed the repluggination.

Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

Wow by duxup (2.00 / 0) #11 Fri Feb 29, 2008 at 12:07:42 PM EST
I'm lucky.  Our support group has some directors who are storm troopers about that stuff.  IT sends out and e-mail and they're all over their asses.  They did it enough to where once in a while IT actually thinks before they do stuff.  Still not perfect when it comes to OUR tools but at least the customer facing stuff isn't crapped on.
A Day in the Life | 12 comments (12 topical, 0 hidden)