Print Story Snake Eyes
By ana (Sun Feb 10, 2008 at 01:08:06 PM EST) WFC, writing, post-mortem (all tags)
And, um, stuff.

OK, so it's been said that the story Snake Eyes, supposedly by weregoat, was in fact mostly by me, with a little help from Kellnerin.

Guilty, as charged.

What with the anvils from the sky in January (see my diary and toxicfur's), there wasn't much in the way of excess energy available for frivolities like writing fiction. Still, escape is escape, and I've always kind of had a fondness for at least the grimy Private Eye office scene, where the dame wanders in and asks for help.

Couldn't really see my way to crime, actually, though I've written some in the past; so the other thing PIs used to specialize in was investigating allegations of adultery, producing evidence for the divorce courts, in the Bad Olde Dayes before no-fault.

The beginnings of an idea. That, plus the fact that the only other original-fiction-related thing I'd done in January is re-reading my nano, which involves time travel, per my WFC7 and WFC6 stories.

Fragment A, written in half an hour on a Sunday in response to irrelevant prompts, got the dame into the office, but since I had no clue what the story was about at that point, she resolutely refused to come to the point.

By the next week, I had the inklings of the above Idea. I've always been fascinated by the figure of Jacob in Genesis. The relevant part of that story here is the tale of him going off to a foreign country because he'd bilked his brother out of his birthright, and said brother was, rightfully, pissed off. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy works 7 years for prospective father-in-law, boy marries girl, only to discover that it's not the pretty Rachel, but her plain older sister Leah. Boy works another 7 years, marries girl, this time it really is Rachel. Between the two wives and their handmaidens, Jacob fathers 12 sons and at least one daughter.


But we already have the dame sitting across the desk from the investigator, now with a name right out of Genesis himself, Mel K. Zadok. And her name is now Syd Jacobs. So the genders of everybody in the Genesis story get reversed, and, um, biology being what it is, we stick in a time-loop.

That's Fragment B, more or less as it stood the day before the deadline. But toxicfur and I were going to town that day to buy black suits for a funeral, so I e-mailed all this dreck to Kellnerin, hoping against hope that she, or someone else at the writing chat (1pm Eastern USian time every sunday afternoon on, channel #writing; y'all come!) could rescue it, write more, or just reimagine it somehow.

So Kellnerin wrote the scene (henceforth known as Fragment K) where Mel goes to see Jimmy the Weasel, to fence the earring, get money for another month's rent on his office, etc. etc., and oh by the way, get the infodump on the boys, Lee and Rafael/Rafe.

Which was almost enough to make a story. I wrote a bit more, myself, having pirated a connection in the mall. Over the course of the afternoon, with much coaching from K, I beat it into the form that you see. More proofreading overnight, and I was sitting on the couch at tf-mom's house, madly editing, at 7am on Monday morning when, reloading Husi, I discovered to my horror that I'd missed the deadline by perhaps 10 minutes.

Whining about deadlines is as much a part of the WFC tradition as the writing itself, so I whined. And got an extension of a day, which stretched into a bit more than that, and also got someone else's story (the winning entry, from CRwM), in.

And there you have it. Could have been a much better story, if I'd taken the time to work on it.

And I wholeheartedly endorse the idea of giving the prize to toxicfur, for her January diaries. I'm proud to know her, and while it's the suckiest month we could ever hope to live through, I, for one, say she came through with remarkable grace and strength. Thanks, in large measure, to the sympathy and love expressed by people here.

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Snake Eyes | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden)
You have been deceiving people on teh Tubes? by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #1 Sun Feb 10, 2008 at 03:37:50 PM EST
You smutty, kinky little thing you! That's what I love about you.

moi? by ana (4.00 / 1) #2 Sun Feb 10, 2008 at 04:52:51 PM EST
*bats eyes innocently*

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
WOW! by reza (2.00 / 0) #3 Sun Feb 10, 2008 at 06:10:30 PM EST
You should get points just for the loops, hoops and gyrations your story went through to get out there!


" Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind do not matter, and those who matter do not mind!" Dr. Seuss

they call it a writing fun challenge by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Feb 11, 2008 at 05:03:40 PM EST
And in this case it lived up to the billing. It was sort of a mega-prompt, trying to write a chunk that might slot in somewhere in the overall scheme, and then retrofitting the scheme so that it did sorta fit.

There's still a bit where Mel peeked over your shoulder and saw something he wasn't supposed to know, I think, but hey -- it was some kind of ride. And time travel is fast becoming your go-to plot device, in just as obscure a way as mine apparently is ;)

"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM

It was quite the ride. by ana (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Feb 11, 2008 at 05:51:32 PM EST
Was fun. Let's do it again sometime. Next time, give it a week to settle before we hafta turn it in, eh? Didn't we promise ourselves that, last time?

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
I think we did, yeah by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #6 Tue Feb 12, 2008 at 01:42:45 AM EST
I have a feeling we'll keep promising that for quite a few rounds.

"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM
[ Parent ]
Snake Eyes | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden)