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A Day in the Life

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By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 03:42:47 AM EST) A Day in the Life, WTF, surveys, whisk(e)y, fuckwits, pie (all tags)

Exceptional

I just got a Superior Service Selection notification. Some customer filled out the damned survey and offered high praise. He even wrote a glowing comment. I looked up the ticket number and saw it was something I not only didn't spend five minutes on, the guy found the problem himself (though using my guidance). It was a simple thing, easy to overlook.

So why am I pissed off about this?

Poll: whisk(e)y peating levels
x-posted to da brog.

I'm mad as hell because I'm getting Customer Dissatisfaction notices left and right from fuckwits who are unhappy that I didn't magically resolve their problems inside 12 minutes. On the 1-5 scale of customer satisfaction surveys I was given straight 1s by one goat-blower because it took four months to fix the problem.

Never mind that every time he updated the ticket I responded within two hours. Never mind that every time I responded he took three weeks to answer. Never mind that half the time he he finally responded he hadn't actually done the tests or provided the information I'd asked for. Never mind the three full environments I'd had to build, the painful VOIP teleconferences with spotty connections I suffered through, the refusals to provide me with information, even the fact that I fixed something deemed by others as unfixable.

Nope, it took four months so I got slammed.

Customer I didn't do shit for: "I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you!!1!1shiftone"
Customer I busted my balls for: "Fuck you!"

Clearly I need to put a lot less effort into my job.

I'd tell every last fucking one of those fuckwits to go DIAF but I have rent to pay and a penchant for expensive whisk(e)y. Edradour port-finished is €70 for a little half-litre bottle; Strathisla 40-year just a wee bit more than that. Of course, I might not need to drink so much of these if I wasn't having to deal with these mooks all day. Chicken & egg.

< Notes on Andalucía. | Realization sucks. >

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A Day in the Life | 14 comments (14 topical, 0 hidden)

Unfair poll by gazbo (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 03:58:53 AM EST

Caol Ila is clearly such an incredible whisky that no other choices stand a chance, irrespective of peat level.

I think I may buy a bottle. Then the eternal question - is the 18 year old worth the extra £15 over the (still excellent) 12?

(Obvious jokes aside)

I recommend always assuming 7th normal form where items in a text column are not allowed to rhyme.

I prefer the 12 by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #2 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 04:20:53 AM EST

The 18 (as well as the "Distiller's edition") are way too phenol-y for my taste. Unfortunately Caol Ila feel the need to add fucking colouring at bottling, but some of the private label Caol Ilas (Scottish Castles, Gordon McPhail) are truly incredible.

The poll is about peating level, though, and not the most appropriate use thereof.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]

How can you choose? by Herring (2.00 / 0) #11 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 02:44:42 PM EST

It depends upon mood. I still like the 16yo Lagavulin, but sometimes I'm on the mood for something a bit more ... Speysidey (note to OED compilers - please add this as a word). The great thing about Scottish whisky is that it is so vastly different - look at the variety of tastes just on one tiny island of Islay. There is no right answer.

OK, there's a wrong answer and that involves putting ice in it.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]

: There *is* a right answer by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #13 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 11:15:12 PM EST

"Whatever you feel like".
That said, I specified why I prefer the 12 to the 18 and DE: great nose but high phenol in both taste and aftertaste. I'm particular to the stuff from Islay which tend to be deeper and more robust IMO (as opposed to, say, Oban). Even the barely peated Bruichladdich (and I have many of their products) knock the socks off of most whiskeys on the mainland. Again, IMO. YMMV and probably does. A lot of people like Glen Kinchie, Balvenie and Glen Morangie (and I have those as well). They're all excellent drams.
the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia
[ Parent ]

Same story here by miker2 (4.00 / 1) #3 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 04:55:09 AM EST

Write up a simple SQL script to fix an issue for a customer and the customer rep practically offers oral favors. Bust my ass for some obscure non-deterministic bug and get hell from management.

Thankfully I'm trying my best to get the fuck out of this place.

That is how it goes by duxup (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 05:26:32 AM EST

Where I work without fail the biggest dumb ass in my group (there aren't many these days but there used to be) would get tons of 5s from customers that they lied to or failed to do anything. The customer would open a new case later and dump on some other poor bastard...

I on the other hand would get just one report with all 0s. Often the comments wouldn't match up with the case number. My favorite was one that was all 0s and the only customer comment was:

I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME AT THIS NUMBER!!!!

Lucky for me, my employer uses those reviews as an average for the group rather than individual metrics.

____

this is why by webwench (4.00 / 3) #5 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 05:30:59 AM EST

you address the easy issues with aplomb (think low-hanging fruit and you'll get the idea), and throw the tough ones over the wall to someone else... anyone else.

Or so I hear.

^{Getting more attention than you since 1998. Ya ya!}

The answer is simple by Phil the Canuck (4.00 / 5) #6 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 06:49:51 AM EST

The customer that fixed his own problem with your guidance isn't a moron. The moron who never gave you what you needed to fix his problem has to blame it all on someone. Morons are rarely satisfied with customer service.

The problem is by Herring (2.00 / 0) #12 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 02:51:47 PM EST

and I've done some research on this: morons have far too much influence. Hell, look at the current US government. Look at the current UK government.

I swear that 15 years ago, IT was 90% technical problems and 10% political. Now it's 90% political problems and 10% technical. Yes we can solve it easily like this but we wont be allowed to. How often do you hear that?

Innovation and creativity frightens the morons who are in charge so it can't be allowed to happen. So we do the same things the same way and get the same results and ... hey, why am I writing this?

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

[ Parent ]

: Read my diary by Phil the Canuck (2.00 / 0) #14 Fri Nov 14, 2008 at 02:09:45 AM EST

I'm fully aware that morons are in charge.

[ Parent ]

Feedback is a poor metric as a standalone measure by marvin (2.00 / 0) #7 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 10:07:58 AM EST

And only poor management would rely on customer feedback alone. While each report bears investigation of the logs and correspondence trail to discover and eliminate / retrain useless support staff, I couldn't work for a manager that took such feedback seriously or relied solely upon it for decision making.

So what do these notices really mean to your day-to-day job, interactions with management, and promotion / pay raises?

Ob Poll should be multi-select. by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 10:29:45 AM EST

But I did note. So there.

Entirely different personalities by ShadowNode (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 11:41:17 AM EST

Someone competent (and not expecting you to be) will be pleasantly surprised when they get what they need regardless of how. Especially if it doesn't take much time.

Someone not competent (and expecting a hand holding) will blame you for their own failings.

A day in the life of what? by Clipper Ship (1.00 / 1) #10 Thu Nov 13, 2008 at 01:36:40 PM EST

---------------

Destroy All Planets

A Day in the Life | 14 comments (14 topical, 0 hidden)