Print Story Today was the last day
By Gedvondur (Sat Oct 18, 2008 at 11:06:26 AM EST) (all tags)
If you are sensitive when a pet passes away, I suggest you not read any further.

In the early 90s I used to hang out at a game store, RPG style called Mystic Cellar.  There were two store cats, both pretty young.  One orange and one a common black and white tabby.  The tabby's name was Atilla, she raised so much hell in the store they named her after a barbarian.

The owners of the store went through a divorce.  The wife kept the orange cat.  On a chance, I took the tabby.  My wife and I renamed her Tilly.  Friendly and frosty at turns, she didn't like to be picked up, nor did she ever sit in your lap.  Next to you was good enough.

Tilly was a good cat, she liked to be in the room with us, and would catch the occasional fall mouse that would find its way into the house.  She has been our only cat for the last five years. 

Over the last several days, she had been declining.  Her body was no longer producing red blood cells according to the vet.  This morning we had the vet put her to sleep.  We gave her the gentlest rest we could.  It was clear she wasn't going to recover, and she was not suffering yet.

I stayed in the room while they did it.  It was so fast.  She felt nothing.

Now I cannot get the image out of my mind, and I nearly cannot stop crying.  I'm glad I was there for her.  But now the hurt has set in.  My wife and I cannot stop crying.    The hurt hasn't diminished an iota, and this feels as if it is the longest day of my life.  I am raw with grief and upset.

She was a good kitty.  I miss her so much and so does my wife.  It was just the three of us in the house, for so many years.  Good years.  I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Goodbye my little Tilly. 
< And blow up a xenobathite | there was a message in my potato >
Today was the last day | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden)
It sounds like you gave Tilly a good life by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #1 Sat Oct 18, 2008 at 11:18:31 AM EST

honoring her memory by LilFlightTest (4.00 / 1) #2 Sat Oct 18, 2008 at 11:30:38 AM EST
and respecting her dignity is the best gift you can give a kitty, aside from a catnip mouse or a ball of tinfoil.

if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
Oh, dear. by ana (4.00 / 1) #3 Sat Oct 18, 2008 at 12:08:09 PM EST
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

Just this morning I woke from a dream that included a poignant scene, which replays itself from time to time. Last Fall, toxicfur's first (as an adult) cat was declining. We took him to an emergency vet, where they ultrasounded him and found congestive heart failure. We went in to where they had him in a cage, giving him oxygen to help him breathe. They opened the door and he climbed into toxicfur's arms.

"I tried, mom," one of the vet techs translated.

I teared up this morning, looking at the stone we buried him under in our front yard.

"And this ... is a piece of Synergy." --Kellnerin

Would you mind posting a pic? by muchagecko (4.00 / 1) #4 Sat Oct 18, 2008 at 02:06:56 PM EST
I'm sure she was a cute kitty, but I'd like to see her.

It sounds like you took good care of her and gave her what she needed. You loved her and that's the best thing a cat can have.


A purpose gives you a reason to wake up every morning.
So a purpose is like a box of powdered donut holes?
My Name is Earl

I would by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #11 Sun Oct 19, 2008 at 05:12:04 PM EST

"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
I by Gedvondur (4.00 / 1) #12 Sun Oct 19, 2008 at 05:12:42 PM EST
I can't get the new editor to do it.  sorry.


"I love my brain. It's the only organ I can afford to lose." --frijolito
[ Parent ]
Well, that was a good long run for a cat. by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #5 Sat Oct 18, 2008 at 02:19:54 PM EST
I'm sure Tilly was content to be treated so well by your family.
You did your best, so take something from that.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

I'm so sorry. by toxicfur (4.00 / 2) #6 Sat Oct 18, 2008 at 03:37:38 PM EST
They're with us for such a short amount of time, and they leave such a gaping hole. My thoughts are with you. 
To Rollins lesbians are like cuddly pandas: cute, exotic, forest-dwelling, dangerous when riled and unable to produce offspring without assistance.-CRwM
i'm sorry to hear it... by clock (4.00 / 1) #7 Sat Oct 18, 2008 at 05:01:42 PM EST just sucks, but you know you did right by your friend.  doesn't make you miss her any less...

i'm sorry.

I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

I'm so sorry for your loss by FlightTest (4.00 / 2) #8 Sat Oct 18, 2008 at 07:05:43 PM EST
I know it doesn't ease the pain to know you did the right thing by Tilly.  It's unfortunate but the responsibility is ours to ease the suffering of our pets, though it may cause our own suffering.

You did the right thing.    Peace.

What he said. by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #9 Sun Oct 19, 2008 at 05:15:50 AM EST

[ Parent ]
I've been there by ad hoc (4.00 / 1) #10 Sun Oct 19, 2008 at 11:15:25 AM EST
I still have nightmares.

The three things that make a diamond also make a waffle.
The hardest thing I ever did was. . . by nightflameblue (4.00 / 1) #13 Mon Oct 20, 2008 at 08:32:46 AM EST
hold Missy's paw and stare her in the face as they dosed her, telling her it was almost over.

We had six other pets in the house at the time and the entire house went down for several days over it. It hurts so much. Even the little kittens at the time picked it up.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, and so glad to know you weren't afraid to make that so very, very difficult decision instead of allowing the dwindling, undignified death it could have been.

Best wishes.

Today was the last day | 13 comments (13 topical, 0 hidden)