Have you ever reached that point where the actions of others have perturbed you to the point where you just want to reach out across time and/or space and strangle them? Or compress their head into a neat little cube, which occupies approximately the same space as a medium-sized Lego?

So, I'm married, to woman who happens to be both the best wife I could possibly ask for, and my very bestest friend (we're BFF's, like totally!). She's awesome. But what they don't tell you in all those required pre-marriage classes that you're required by law to take, is that when you marry someone, you marry their family too. Wait...maybe they did tell me that, but I was too busy fantasizing about my (then) wife-to-be naked. That happens sometimes. Like....now. Mm-mm...marital nudity.

Where was I? Oh yes, the whole "marriage-is-a-package-deal" thing.

Don't get me wrong, there are vast swathes of my bride's family who are fantastic people. They well and truly are. But. Her. Mother.

If ever there was an intellectually incurious, a rude, crass, cruel, mean-spirited, emotional black hole of a person, it is my mother-in-law. She speaks, and caustic venom spews forth from her lips like poison, and her touch wilts with its vile putrescence.

Hyperbole aside, you get the picture.

I wish I could understand a person who seems to be happiest when everyone around them is miserable. Who makes it a point to make promises she never intends to keep, and then get incensed when her family, to whom she's made said promises, attempts to hold her to them.

I'm not generally a 'hold-my-tongue' kind of person. When I see someone being treated like shit, I tend to bring up the fact that, perhaps there's a kinder way to treat people.

But in this case? I feel my hands are tied, and I must simply watch my best beloved seethe as her mother yet again attempts to break her spirit.

Fortunately, my wife is a bright light in a sea of darkness, and I know her mother can't break her.

In fact, I doubt anything can.