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Scifi! Scifi! Scifi! Expo! Expo! Expo!

By CheeseburgerBrown (Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 06:44:59 AM EST) scifi, science-fiction, expo, books, cheeseburger, nerds, geeks, convention, toronto, booth, exhibitor, author, wife, cbb, cheeseburgerbrown, live, storytelling, fiction, whoring (all tags)

You know those cheesy scifi conventions where people dress up as Klingons to stand in line for overpriced autographs from C-list has-been actors? Well, I've never been to one despite the fact that I'm a big nerd (and despite writing a story on the subject).

But this weekend I will not only be attending a scifi convention, I'll be an exhibitor. No, really.

I will not, however, be dressing as a Klingon.

The SFX 2007 Science-Fiction Expo will be taking place at the Metro Convention Centre in downtown Toronto, Friday August 24 through Sunday August 26. I will be manning a booth near the autograph alley with my lovely wife, hawking books, scribbling autographs, and offering live improvisational storytelling for the crowd.

Since we really don't know what we're doing I expect results of mixed hilarity.

Between Littlestar and I someone will be posting photos here on HuSi to showcase the majesty of the event in all its glow-sticker starry glory, and penning a diary or two as time permits. We won't have Internet access at our booth (because it costs extra), but we'll try to do a thorough debrief once the dust settles for those of you too unlocal or too dignified to attend.

Autographs are free if you bring your own book. Cheaply bound single stories will go for $2, and then we have books priced at $10, $15 and $20. Sensual massages start at $25 from me, $50 from my wife. Alternatively, you can punch me in the gut for the one-time low, low price of just $69.95 (plus applicable taxes).

Be there and be square.

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Scifi! Scifi! Scifi! Expo! Expo! Expo! | 39 comments (39 topical, 0 hidden)

Toronto, Where is that? by duxup (2.00 / 0) #1 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 06:51:24 AM EST

I would so be there if I lived around those parts.

I attended one Star Trek event when a friend invited me. We had a good time and ended up attending an optional presentation where Leonard Nimoy showed some of his photography, talked about Star Trek, his life and etc. He didn't sing "If I had a Hammer" or "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" but interesting none the less.
____

No Crooning? by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #8 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:21:45 AM EST

That's a chocolate shame. If I were there I would've stood up and said, "How do you feel?" in a robotic voice over and over again until he bent to my will.

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.

[ Parent ]

: I think he might have done it by duxup (2.00 / 0) #16 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:43:10 AM EST

The Nimoy presentation cost extra and was optional and ended up being all of 10 to 12 people so he took questions and comments from everyone thru the whole thing. There were only a couple "OMG crazy fanboy!" questions and he handled them very well.
For a moment I was tempted to ask something silly relating to his music but I just couldn't work myself up to do it. I was enjoying his talk, and he has this sort of wise old grandpa aurora around him that was charming.
The best part was his story / reenactment of the origins of the Vulcan hand sign.
____
[ Parent ]

If you could have .. by me0w

(2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 06:52:16 AM EST

the Molson Amphitheatre moved to the Convention Centre I'll come visit!!

If not I'll have to go to work :(

Working's For Rich People and Robots by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #9 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:23:47 AM EST

Myself, I'll be quietly slipping out of the office about six seconds after my boss gets on his flight to attend a conference-planners conference.

Just promise me this: if you see anyone at work who's hopelessly antisocial and wearing a T-shirt with a math-based pun on it, please direct them my way.

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.

[ Parent ]

: Sunday ... by me0w (2.00 / 0) #17 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:49:21 AM EST

the Scorpions are playing. I'm sure there will be many antisocial types ... with BIG 80's HAIR!! I'll send them straight over.

[ Parent ]

autographs! by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 06:59:52 AM EST

i knew there was something i was missing in june.

oh, wait. massages?!

anyhow ... the science fiction convention i went to, an age and a half ago, was a blast. i hope you guys have a great time. :)

If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.

: Autographed Massages by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #10 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:26:59 AM EST

There's a two dollar discount for autographs signed below the waist if you're sexy. Likewise, there's a two dollar premium for gross people.

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.
[ Parent ]

A few, sort of by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:00:12 AM EST

In my younger years I went to a few gaming cons that incorporated fantasy and science fictions fans, too. One year I dressed up as some sort of Viking/dwarf warrior (I was short) with the classic cow horned helmet, the other year in camoflauge as a Tech Level 8 forward observer with laser carbine.

Myself... by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:27:40 AM EST

...I will be dressing up as Cheeseburger Brown -- an obscure figure in the genre, but thankfully one that doesn't necessitate the use of putty or make-up.

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.

[ Parent ]

will you be selling by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #24 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 12:14:40 PM EST

cheeseburger brown costumes?

also, what are the kiddies doing while you and littlestar are playing?
If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.

[ Parent ]

It's pretty easy to improvise one by Driusan (4.00 / 1) #28 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 05:40:08 PM EST

Just take off your shirt.

--
Vive le Montréal libre.

[ Parent ]

but he has a tan by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #29 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 05:59:11 PM EST

and is less hairy than i am.
If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.

[ Parent ]

Paint + a razor. (nt) by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #35 Thu Aug 23, 2007 at 06:40:54 AM EST

---
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

[ Parent ]

fuck that by aphrael (4.00 / 1) #38 Thu Aug 23, 2007 at 11:20:57 PM EST

then i have to experience the hair growing back in.
If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.

[ Parent ]

: Stop finding excuses! by Driusan (4.00 / 1) #39 Sat Aug 25, 2007 at 06:53:46 AM EST

Just show us your tits!

--
Vive le Montréal libre.
[ Parent ]

Missing Poll Option: by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:07:49 AM EST

I'd go if the wild monkey sex orgies were good enough.

At least that's what I heard about Sci Fi conventions from my exes old college roomate...

You Roomed With A Monkey? by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #12 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:28:16 AM EST

That's so cool. Did he have a little bowler hat that made him extra clever?

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.

[ Parent ]

: No. My ex roomed with a monkey. by greyrat (2.00 / 0) #21 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 10:07:17 AM EST

I know I don't write as well as you, but I'd hope that you'd read better than me.

[ Parent ]

Just **how** sensual, Mr. Brown? by Arbeit Macht Pie (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:10:09 AM EST

The $50 version, of course.

Show Me The Money. by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 2) #13 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:28:51 AM EST

And then we'll detail the menu.

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.

[ Parent ]

with or without the happy finish ? by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #15 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:39:50 AM EST

[ Parent ]

: Is it worth anything by littlestar (4.00 / 6) #22 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 11:57:00 AM EST

without the happy finish? I mean.. come on now.. what would be the point?
*twinkle*twinkle*

[ Parent ]
: Wow by Phage (4.00 / 2) #32 Thu Aug 23, 2007 at 02:15:28 AM EST

I read that as 'Happy Fish'. I think I need to get out more often.

[ Parent ]

Once you're back by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:17:46 AM EST

You have to read Bimbos of the Death Sun. It's a mystery about a murder at a con.

P.S. Don't get roped in to judging the costume contest.

P.P.S. Is that $69.95 CDN or US?

Earth First!
_{(We can strip mine the rest later.)}

Noted. by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #14 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 07:29:35 AM EST

All prices are yankee. Um, I think. I haven't worked that out yet, actually.

I hate counting.

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.

[ Parent ]

: aye., by aphrael (2.00 / 0) #25 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 12:20:29 PM EST

one of the wierd things about the CDN being so high relative to the USD right now is that books which have printed prices in both USD and CDN, the CDN price is outrageously high comparatively.
buying books in canada sucked when i could look at the two prices, convert, and find out i was paying a 20-25% premium to be buying it in canada instead of waiting a week to buy it at home.
If television is a babysitter, the internet is a drunk librarian who won't shut up.
[ Parent ]

Disappointed . . . by slozo (4.00 / 1) #18 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 08:00:10 AM EST

. . . to be missing this one, for sure.

That means we will need PICTURES, alongside the requisite detailed diary posting, 'natch.

A word of warning on "scifi" by johnny (2.00 / 0) #19 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 09:45:16 AM EST

When I started going to Cons about 7 years ago, I found out that the word "SciFi" is a sure marker for mundandes, and the fen take great offense at it. SciFi is a perjorative. If you use it, it will cut into your sales. You may think this is stupid, and it is, but it's a fact, jack.

You're supposed to say "SF", as in "ess-eff". That can stand for science fiction or spectulative fiction or whatever you like. Just SF, like GNU standing for GNU in the recursive algorithm.

Good luck.

On another note, did you see the files I sent you over the weekend? They've been revised since, so don't worry. They're just FYI.
... this is dreamworld after all... it isn't? Shit.

: Fickle Fen? by CheeseburgerBrown (2.00 / 0) #20 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 09:59:24 AM EST

Well, the expo is the one billing itself as "scifi." My banner says "science-fiction books." If that's a loser way to phrase things I'm afraid I'm stuck with it, as the printing's all been done.

Also: I received no new files from you. I've checked my spam trap. How strange! Re-send?

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.
[ Parent ]
: depends by Merekat (4.00 / 2) #30 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 09:46:34 PM EST

Europeans sometimes use it ironically (skiffy) or to show they don't give a shit about image.
Mainly it was all about making sure stupid journalists don't think you are a trekkie. I mean, there is clearly a difference between the fake ear wearing nutjobs and the people with large beards, lank unwashed hair and enormous multicolour waistcoats. (Hint. Only one of these groups is aware they are in costume).

[ Parent ]

I feel like a loser.... by littlestar (4.00 / 2) #23 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 11:59:04 AM EST

no one was even wondering about the 50 dollar version from me... I mean come on?!?!?!? That's SUPER cheap for a sensual massage... oh well... none for any of you then.

I'll just sit over here and play with my worms.
*twinkle*twinkle*

i was by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #27 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 01:50:43 PM EST

but i just got home and just now read this. also, i'm not in canada, and nick just left your fair country, so neither of us will be there, unfortunately.
---------
if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake

[ Parent ]

*cough* by Arbeit Macht Pie (2.00 / 0) #31 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 11:46:12 PM EST

I sure as heck wasn't referring to the insane leprechaun you married.

[ Parent ]

: BWAHAHAHAHAAHH by littlestar (4.00 / 1) #33 Thu Aug 23, 2007 at 03:32:28 AM EST

Thank you on multiple levels. That made me laugh really hard.... he is like an insane leprechaun isn't he? And you haven't even seen his gnomey feet.... hahahahahaha...
*twinkle*twinkle*

[ Parent ]

you lost all of us at the happy finish comment by misslake (2.00 / 0) #34 Thu Aug 23, 2007 at 03:44:34 AM EST

i know i have only just recovered from the shock/delight of that prospect this morning.

[ Parent ]

Most people don't do costumes by squigs (2.00 / 0) #26 Wed Aug 22, 2007 at 01:34:02 PM EST

I'm a big fan of costumes but that's because I'm a little shy and it gives me an excuse to act out of character.

Nobody takes it seriously. It's all a lot of fun and sometimes you'll get some hottie dressed as Evil Willow or seven of nine.

And for the good conventions, the autographs are just a perk. people go to these things to meet other fans.

I'd go for the book signing by spacejack (2.00 / 0) #36 Thu Aug 23, 2007 at 07:15:30 AM EST

and face time, but a mixture of fear of the event and an unwillingness to pay $25 just to get a book signed will probably keep me away. But will the two of you be around at all, somewhere around the location? Maybe we could grab lunch or coffee or a beer afterword or something. Maybe we could convince some Shawshackers to come too.

: Delightful Prospect by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 1) #37 Thu Aug 23, 2007 at 11:43:15 AM EST

However, our schedule is tight -- once we're off duty we're obliged to fetch our children from various locations and so on, so I'd be hesitant to persuade people to make plans seeing as our ends of it may prove unreliable.

Once the dust settles, though...

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da.
[ Parent ]

Scifi! Scifi! Scifi! Expo! Expo! Expo! | 39 comments (39 topical, 0 hidden)