The topic for the local NPR show this morning is "How to Make Cleveland a Gay Friendly City" so it can attract gay tourists who spend twice as much as non-gay tourists, according to some statistics. Really, you can't make this kind of stuff up. Personally I'm thinking they could have lots of stores specialising in track lighting, or maybe have show tunes blasting out of loudspeakers on the streets, or maybe build a bunch of Greek baths and whatnot. I hope tomorrow they try to figure out what to do to make it a Jew friendly tourist city. I'm thinking lots of dollar stores that sell matza-ball soup and whatnot. Or better yet, lets try to attract short tourists - we can build a mall that's 3/4 the size of a regular mall, and staff it with midgets and dwarfs to make the short people feel better about themselves.

Speaking of inane ideas, Rush Limburgher has been nominated for a.. heh.. Nobel Peace Prize!!! What, Bill O'Reilly wasn't available?? Rush does a fine job entertaining right-wing nutjobs, and I tip my hat to him as he is skilled at what he does, but how much crack would you have to ingest in order to even mention his name in the same sentence as the words Nobel Peace Prize??? Really, Oprah is more deserving than that big fat Limbaugh moron.

Speaking of that dopey Oprah rube, I'm making my 2007 book list available for any middle aged stressed out mini-van driving soccer mom who is incapable of thinking for herself and is looking for an alternative to Oprah's book list. Be sure to check back often for updates and whatnot. Also, I plan on opening up a school for poor white boys later in the Fall. Of course if I can't raise funds for the school I may have to settle for building a Greek bath for poor white boys instead. Whatever.

Speaking of poor white boys, could Rex GROSSman have sucked any worse during the Mediocre Bowl? Really, you know you're in trouble when a 10 minute Prince show is better than the actual game. For the record I thought Prince did a damn fine job, especially since it was live and raining like a mofo. That cat's a damn fine musician. SHORT PEOPLE REPRESENT!

Speaking of inane retarded white people - President Bush is rolling out his new budget!! Looks like he's serious about making the elderly and poor sacrifice in order to fight the evil terra-ists. Bravo! If I was going to save some money to pay for a war I'd fuck the poor up the ass instead of taxing the wealthy too!! Fuck those poor and elderly people - why don't they just go get a high paying job like the rest of us. Damn loosers.

I also applaud his "no time-table" mantra for bringing the troops back home, as that would cause the terra-ists to sit back and wait for us to leave. Meanwhile if we sneak out and leave without telling them they'll never notice that we're gone!!! BWUAHAHAHA!! WOOOOO! WHEEEEEE!! Brilliant strategy!