• Call the VP hourly, "is the detention rescinded yet?"
• Request as much documentation (accounts, teacher CVs, profiles etc
• Request to see insurance certificates, building code regs
• Any other USian specific stuff that you can think of

Not sure how that would work, though. Terribly funny poll, btw.

I don't think it's that bad a lesson: being late for something can have adverse consequences, even if it's not your fault.

Being on time isn't an unreasonable requirement, even if you think the punishment is excessive. So what kind of messages are you sending if you contest it? "Rules don't apply to us?"

Parents these days have gotten the stereotype of letting kids off too easy, giving in too much, and letting their kids get away with murder (in some cases, literally).  Whether it is that they want their kids to feel supported, want their kids to like them, or are too put out by having to make accommodations in their schedule to pick up their kids from detention.  Having worked in the school, I can tell you that it seems almost commonplace not to trust the parents -- they'll say anything to get their kids off the hook.  You see parents going to bat for their kids to the extreme to get them out of punishment that the kid genuinely deserves so frequently that you fall into the trap of assuming most parents aren't holding their kids accountable for anything.  And those parents are out there.  They are the parents the schools hear from most often, so it seems like there are more of them than there are.

Which sucks for the majority of good parents who do raise their kids with strong morals, and teach them the significance of owning up to your actions.  What is completely asinine in this case is that the school has policies in place, in my armchair opinion, to deal with the type of parents summarized above, which ends up screwing the rest of the kids and holding them accountable for someone else's actions.  Some might argue that school is preparing kids for the future "real world" where sometimes you are held accountable for others' actions, but this, especially as a first offense, is really bogus.

I think you are exactly right in your decision.  You are arguing with the school on their unfair policy.  If you don't win this one, then by attending the detention with your daughter she learns the unfair lesson of paying for the mistakes of others, but at the same time she sees you serving the detention and therefore paying for your mistake, not to mention your support of her in going to the school in her defense.  The school should see you as a responsible parent and hold you in higher esteem should you have difficulties with them in the future without too much of a rift being built.

OTOH, if you raise holy hell, which is what seems to make more sense and what I would want to do, you run the risk that the school's behavior towards your daughter may change.  As an extreme example, my mother fought the school district at every turn with my older siblings and the result was that by the time I was old enough to go to school my family was thought of with such contempt among the teachers at the public school that my parents had to send me to private school.  The result of my mother’s actions was that my siblings knew their mother supported them, but the school went out of their way to make life difficult for them.


-----------------------------------------
"Buttons aren't toys" -- Trillian

Sigh.

Anyway, being a crappy teenager, I'd forgotten to tell my mum about church that morning, and she was having her annual lie-in.

Did I mention that two years before I had decided religion was a load of arse? Yay for Church of England schools.

Anyway, we eventually get our act together, she drives like a loon, and I get in, 45 minutes late.  In the rehearsal room, the music director gave me a proper bollocking in front of 40-odd people. I wasn't aware that you were allowed to swear in a church, but the chaplain didn't say anything.

Apparently, even if the car had broken down and I was left in a Sussex ditch with a broken leg, that would be all my fault; I should have found a way to get in on time myself.

Later on, I realised that it was a good lesson, albeit harsh. Didn't stop me making his life a misery for the rest of my time there, though.

Yes it's not your daughters fault, but I bet she won't be letting you stay in bed too late again ;)

Appologise to her for your tardiness. Make it up to her in some way.

If you find out later that the school is not consistent in applying their rules, THEN raise a stink about it.
--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock

Each private school may very by the rules.

But notice that most of the bullying, harassment, and school shootings have been done with public schools and not private schools. That is because public schools have major problems and aren't managed very well. Mostly brain-dead MBAs like that VP manage the public schools like some prison system and then act shocked when a student shoots up the school, despite there being warning signs and all.

1. A genuine desire to be of use to society
2. Because they like ordering people around and enforcing rules makes them feel like a Big Man
3. They are some sort of pervert

"You can't really know something until you ruin it for everyone." -some guy who used to have an account here