Print Story A Day in the Life
Error: An Error of Type "ERROR" Has Occurred

My knee hurts. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's excessive strain, maybe I bashed it into something when I was ratted last Thursday. It's probably a combination of all of these.
My back hurts. Carrying oversized packing boxes home each night ain't helping. Nor is dismantling the humongous IKEA-style furniture
My brain hurts. I'm dealing with Microsoft error messages.

x-posted to da brog, sans poll.

Mini-me (a.k.a. Paul, the guy in Bulgrohungria I'm mentoring) started on me before I could even finish my first cup of coffay. Admittedly I have a huge fucking 3/4 liter mug but still, it's the principle that matters. I took a look at the ticket:
You said in order to fix our problem with ActiveX that we had to download Patchset G. We did. We patched the servers. We patched the handlers. And when we went to patch the Web servers, we got the error message, "setup can only be run on Windows". What's the problem here?
Strange. I'm looking at the profile and the company runs AIX on their servers. What the fuck is he doing? Running "./setup.exe"? Fuckwit.
Hi Dummy,

You need to run setup.aix, not setup.exe.

Mini-Me copypasta'd my actual response and sent it out. Half an hour later the guy's back. It's a Windows Web server, not AIX. Now I'm thinking "fuckwit" for a completely different reason, but then the error message makes no sense.


I checked his version of $OurBigApp. It's 3.c. He must be trying to install it on Windows 2003 and that'll work about as well as trying to run it on AIX or Solaris or SuSE or even an Atari 800. Instead of telling the guy flat out what the problem was, I reminded Mini-Me to add some eggs and milk. "Ask him what the server OS is, which SP level, which updates have been installed, have him send the msinfo file, etc." Which Paul did. An hour later we had confirmation of Windows 2003 not only in the lists of crap we asked for but also in some additional screenshots he'd thoughtfully sent. If only he'd sent that initially; the icons are the give-away.

Closed with a Root Cause: 6-Unsupported Architecture.

Today's 17 goes to the boneheads at Microsoft who write error messages like "This program is only designed to be run on Windows" which come up when you try to install something on Windows. If it's a versioning problem, tell me so , you fuckwits!

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A Day in the Life | 10 comments (10 topical, 0 hidden)
Possible cause of error message by Herring (2.00 / 0) #1 Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 05:46:25 AM EST
if (!expectedWindowsVersion() ) // WINE - fucking hippies

That's the only explanation I can think of. Otherwise it would be kind of pointless in a Widows PE file.

You can't inspire people with facts
- Small Gods

Not WINE by ReallyEvilCanine (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 05:59:53 AM EST
A Windows-2000 compatible installation package may or may not be recognised by Windows 2003. To ensure it's recognised you must first set the compatibility mode. This only happens in some instances, and the error message thrown up gives you little indication that this is what happened.

Of course, over the past half hour, I got the suspicion that this may not be Microsoft's fault after all but could lie in our installer. I'll get Mini-Me to run ProcessExplorer and test it for me.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
Unsupported by squigs (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 06:50:25 AM EST
Okay.  I get the eggs and milk principle, but I'm not sure how it works in practice.

Are people really not irritated that you've asked for pages of information, before pointing out something that should have been obvious to a 6 year old from their initial report? 

Or do you have a less glib response than "We don't support 2003"

Strangely, they're not irritated. by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 01:20:05 PM EST
You saw the linked entry, right? Since they didn't mention that they installed it on Win2K3 there was no way for us to know they in fact tried to do so. We have every right to expect they're using a supported platform. Only experience let me know that this had to be the problem. Paul's quick and he didn't spot it.

When they see we're asking for all sorts of shit, they know we're serious about solving their problems. If we weren't we wouldn't ask for all that. Get it? Once all of that shit comes in, Win2K3 has been identified and we then say, "Ah-HA!". They don't feel so foolish because we didn't know what the problem was immediately. They're very happy with the service because we were obviously ready to dive headfirst into deep water, not fucking around but doing things efficiently instead of asking them one dumb question, waiting for an update, then sending out another dumb question ad nauseum.

The perception of service is usually more important than the service itself.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
you, sir, are CEO material by martingale (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 02:29:31 PM EST
At least, that's what I believe after reading the current slashdot discussion on CEOs vs CIOs. Slashbots are so smart, and never wrong.
$E(X_t|F_s) = X_s,\quad t > s$
[ Parent ]
ERROR: E_FAIL (nt) by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 07:40:11 AM EST

[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
E_UNEXPECTED by crux (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 08:17:32 AM EST
The bane of my existence these days.

[ Parent ]
ERROR: by alprazolam (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 08:29:37 AM EST
Error code: -1002987562358

[ Parent ]
The HTTP SSL depends on the IIS admin service - by mrgoat (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 09:33:01 AM EST
which failed to start because of the following error:
The operation completed successfully.


Not a day goes by that Microsoft doesn't make my life more difficult.

--top hat--

I've seen that error by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #8 Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 01:11:26 PM EST
Or something very much like it, another reason for the my-head-shaped-dent in front of my keyboard.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]
A Day in the Life | 10 comments (10 topical, 0 hidden)