on tiny updates
it's a little disturbing that vomit is a perfectly normal part of our lives. examples? every day when i pick her up from work, my wife gets into the car, i start to back out. she says (very calmly) "stop." i pause, she opens the door, wretches twice, closes the door. she looks at me and says "ok" and i drive us home. note that she does not try to kiss me after vomiting. there are damned few lines. that's one of them.
excerpt from monday night:
...noises from the bathroom...
me: you ok in there?
s: just puking.
me: let me know how that goes.
s: ok.
sometimes it takes the edge off. mostly, it does nothing. she feels better when there is food in her stomach, but too much is a bad thing. managing that is difficult and i'm learning to watch her so that we can both pay more attention to what goes in and how to keep it from making her sick. cause and effect are hard to track when you feel like shit.
i've been doing a lot of recording. i have a new track that's almost ready. i keep re-recording it because i'm just not "getting" it. i can't tell if i'm trying to force a concept to work or what, but the balance gets lost somewhere and doesn't recover. i think i had recorded parts of that cut a dozen or so times when i went to the living room and sat with my napping love. i pulled up husi and saw that my main man blixco needed some guitar lovin'. i was happy to provide. the result? pretty fucking awesome for a track that i did in one take and the fact that the two of us have never been in the same room together. we'll do it again when we get inspired.
i feel like getting this one track done will clear a logjam and i'll be able to breeze through the tunes that remain for this collection. there are more instruments this time and i'm trying very hard to fake an ensemble feel. i'm thinking "chamber music for mountain instruments." whatever that means. it really means that i want my drum to get delivered and i want to get back to guitar building.
yeah...that's a project that got dropped. things got busy as hell at the holly-daze and i haven't recovered yet due to the "delicate condition" (see vomit). right now it feels like completing the two musical projects i have going on should be my focus. it keeps me in the house and at the ready. that's good. i dunno. choices. life is full of 'em.
there are a number of things they don't tell men about having kids. the most difficult so far is the physical disconnect. she feels awful ALL OF THE TIME. i don't. physically? my life hasn't changed. i'm just zippin' along, doin' my thing and she's on the couch looking like she's near death. i bake cookies, noodle around in my studio, read, SURF TEH INTARWEB. nothing is different for me. however, i won't even mention the fact that the carnal urges have gone nowhere (for me). no talk of how my attraction to her is probably stronger than ever. and i won't waste any bits on the perfection and beauty of certain accessories which are now wholly off-limits due to increased sensitivity to, oh let's say, contact with air! no sir! we'll not mention that at all. it's like living with pr0n: i can look, but can't touch. and note to vorheesleatherface: the boobs i live with are superior to those linked in your hole entry in size, shape and jiggly goodness. but the pictures don't yelp under the weight of my gaze, so there are advantages to digital images.
heavy. sigh.
wow. those last two paragraphs sound awful. i'd edit them if they weren't perfectly true. i'm a pig-dog. whatever. i'm over it.
our first doctor's appointment is tomorrow. i have a couple of questions. anybody out there have some questions that you'd wished you'd asked earlier?
there isn't enough good coffee in the world. i'm reduced to padding my day with breakroom coffee. that's not cool, yo. not cool at all.
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