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WFC5: Pot Luck - An Invitation

By Kellnerin (Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 02:01:08 PM EST) WFC, WFC5, can you believe this is the fifth one of these?, this'll be a short one, if you eat and can read this you can enter, so don't delay, it's a Writing! Fun! Challenge! (all tags)

It's Husi's first culino-literary party, hosted by persimmon and Kellnerin -- all are welcome -- bring a story for others to sample!

Details with upload site and recipe below.

Vote here -- voting closes at 24:00 GMT, Wednesday, January 31.

Last time, persimmon brought the groceries and Kellnerin made the dish. For this round, we've provided the recipe and encourage everyone to whip up a little something for us all to share.

Recipe for Writing Fun Challenge 5 Entry
The following yields one (1) short story suitable for reading at home or while bored at work, and is simplicity itself to make. These stories keep well and are perfect for unexpected visitors to your web site.
Ingredients
1 attention-catching title
750–1250 assorted words, including:
   nouns and pronouns
   verbs
   adjectives
   prepositions
   conjunctions
   adverbs, to taste
   interjections (optional)
1 very bad, unacknowledged pun
punctuation and line breaks as needed
In an empty file, combine words to form a narrative relating to the theme of food. If using a .txt file, take care that lines do not spill over the edge of the screen. Garnish with pun and place title at top. Serve by upload to the WFC5 site^* no later than Monday, January 22, 24:00 GMT.^** Can be made up to ten days in advance; best when served anonymously.
Note: Pay special attention to ingredient proportions. For best results, sift words well. Acknowledgement of pun will spoil flavour. Recipe does not double; use sequential batches to produce larger quantities.

We look forward to savoring everyone's creations a week from Monday -- now get cooking!

--
^* Tip o' the hat to 256 for hosting once again.
^** In the US and Canada: 4:00 p.m. Pacific, 7:00 p.m. Eastern. You GMT+ folks do your own damn math, but your deadline's officially on Tuesday.

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WFC5: Pot Luck - An Invitation | 45 comments (45 topical, 0 hidden)

Ah, fuck. by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #1 Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 02:09:40 PM EST

That means I only have 5 days to write this, after $evil_project is over.

That was my first reaction. The reality set in, and I thought, Who am I kidding? I'll write it Sunday afternoon, just like I've done for all the other WFCs.
-----
inspiritation: the effect of irritating someone so much it inspires them to do something about it. --BuggEye

: Exactlly my thought by BlueOregon (4.00 / 1) #2 Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 02:43:58 PM EST

Give a 3 week time span, and I'll do it an hour before. Give me 4 weeks, I'll do it an hour before ... etc.

[ Parent ]
: damn by Kellnerin (4.00 / 3) #3 Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 03:21:15 PM EST

You've uncovered my dastardly trick. I wanted to induce an "ah, fuck" but at the same time, to mitigate the feeling of would-be last-minute writers who think "forget it, everyone else has been honing their masterpieces for weeks, I won't stand a chance." Now, everyone'll be doing it at the last minute.
I'll also note that even though I knew what the theme and parameters were before now, I'm still thinking, "ah, fuck" -- I've no idea what I'm going to do. Write about sex, maybe.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]

(Comment Deleted) by yicky yacky (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 04:14:51 PM EST

This comment has been deleted by yicky yacky

as always, blame theantix by persimmon (4.00 / 1) #5 Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 04:35:34 PM EST

As he proposed the damn thing here. We're taking it to mean that neither the narrative nor the characters in it acknowledge the pun.

I think. Right, Kellnerin?
-----
_{"Nature is such a fucking plagarist."}

[ Parent ]

: right ... by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 04:53:09 PM EST

Somewhere in the story, is a pun that goes un-commented-on by the characters or in any way within the context of the story. It can a well-worn pun in any other context, but in the story it's treated as just another line.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]

i commited this offence in wfc3 by fleece (2.00 / 0) #17 Sat Jan 13, 2007 at 10:18:17 PM EST

...I bet you can get a blowjob two minutes from anywhere also, in old Dublin town. But this is the lifestyle slot, so they don’t mention anything that might leave a sour taste in your mouth....

[ Parent ]

No Fucking Interjections! by ana

(2.00 / 0) #7 Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 05:22:11 PM EST

Not in the recipe! Sacre bleu!

Regular, or decaf abomination? --Kellnerin

: I was gonna say, by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #8 Fri Jan 12, 2007 at 05:44:25 PM EST

"including but not limited to" but that seemed too technical for the recipe conceit, and I didn't want to require them.
Note that nothing in your comment is off-limits even with a strict interpretation of the recipe, as exclamation points fall under "punctuation, as needed." Anyway, now it's, like, updated for your interjecting pleasure, dude.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]

Would this sweeten the pot? by spacejack (4.00 / 4) #9 Sat Jan 13, 2007 at 09:55:14 AM EST

I've been looking for an excuse to do a book cover or story illustration of some kind, and was thinking it might be fun to do for the winner of a WFC. (Check out these layouts for an idea of what I'm thinking. Just keep in mind that I'm no James Bingham.) Basically, one spot illustration. And maybe a printable PDF layout for the combined text & illustration (the word count seems about right for a one-pager.)

I'm just not sure if everyone would want a 'concrete' visual representation from their story or not.

So what do you think? Would that sweeten or sour the pot? Be honest, you won't hurt my feelings.

I think that'd be sweet by Kellnerin (4.00 / 4) #10 Sat Jan 13, 2007 at 10:49:39 AM EST

And if possible -- with your permission and the author's -- I'd love to incorporate that into the eventual WFC book somehow. (I'm thinking the first 5 WFCs would make for a good anthology.)

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]

WFC book = very cool idea by spacejack (4.00 / 1) #11 Sat Jan 13, 2007 at 10:58:21 AM EST

I'd be up for doing more illustrations for that. Layouts too if needed.

[ Parent ]

cool by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #13 Sat Jan 13, 2007 at 05:24:34 PM EST

I'll probably post a diary about the book project after the current round of festivities. It'd be great if you want to contribute to that, too. Are you thinking b/w (or greyscale) for the illustrations? (Just thinking in boring practical terms.)

We might also need a cover -- we've had cover competitions with each round for fun, like the MFCs, but with covers for five different WFCs, one of which wasn't voted on, that doesn't leave us with a clear cover for the collection. How to combine Little People + Post-Apocalypse + Death and Rebirth + Sex + Food in one image would be a challenge in itself (if it even makes sense to try).

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]

Colour, b+w by spacejack (4.00 / 1) #18 Sun Jan 14, 2007 at 07:37:05 AM EST

I could easily accommodate either. Last time I checked, Cafepress could do 'comic book' style printing, with a colour cover and b+w pages, which could suit a collection of short stories with spot illustrations perfectly. The Saturday Evening Post style layouts strike me as being a pretty cool way to do it, if you wanted to go that route.

Putting those 5 ideas together into one cover would be a challenge. (Or you could just go with something like this :) But either way, I could probably help out with as much graphic work as you need for the book. I think it'd be fun.

[ Parent ]

not voted cover by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (2.00 / 0) #31 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 07:28:21 AM EST

When I edited the entry, I thought I added the covers to the poll, but it seems you can't edit polls. Apologies.

-- Do the math.

[ Parent ]

not a big deal by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #34 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 07:46:53 AM EST

as it was, I believe one of the cover entries was semi-anonymous, which I think makes Scrymarch the default winner of that round (proving that yes, you do get points just for spelling your name right). Besides, as there's no book of just WFC4 alone, I'm not really sure what you "win" except for the fuzzy someone-clicked-my-checkbox feeling.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]

: winning by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (4.00 / 1) #45 Wed Jan 24, 2007 at 02:24:16 PM EST

I'm not really sure what you "win" except for the fuzzy someone-clicked-my-checkbox feeling.
That should be enough, but there can be too much of a good thing.. I confess to embarrassment at having won the one I won.

-- Do the math.
[ Parent ]

are you implying by 256 (4.00 / 1) #33 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 07:35:23 AM EST

that radioactive cannibalistic necrophiliac midgets lay outside of spacejack's artistic range? because i think he might prove you wrong.
---
_{I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni}

[ Parent ]

: I think you mean by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #35 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 07:51:51 AM EST

a guy named Ed Hulver with a harem of radioactive cannibalistic undead midgets. It's not so much that I don't think spacejack can't pull it off, but more that I doubt that anyone really needs to see such a thing illustrated.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]

Pun, huh? by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (2.00 / 0) #12 Sat Jan 13, 2007 at 05:09:59 PM EST

Sucks for me. I have no sense of humor. I also don't know if I can write something that short.

Beyond a comment, that is.

-- Do the math.

Well, you know, by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #14 Sat Jan 13, 2007 at 05:32:29 PM EST

just "food" would be too easy, so we had to put the screws to you all some other way. I think a few of the WFC regulars (including me) have become too comfortable with the 2000-word format, so it seemed like a good idea to shake that up a little.

Humor is not required, though -- that's why we specified that it should be a bad pun. You're going to write something though, aren't you? I think there's a rule that all previous WFC winners must enter, or if not, there should be.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]

: will probably write by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (4.00 / 1) #15 Sat Jan 13, 2007 at 05:49:35 PM EST

I don't know if I can write that little. Never been one for an amuse bouche, but we'll see if I can manage it without resulting to submitting several courses.

-- Do the math.
[ Parent ]

by 22nd jan? jesus christ by fleece (4.00 / 2) #16 Sat Jan 13, 2007 at 10:14:59 PM EST

you're bound by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #19 Sun Jan 14, 2007 at 06:34:41 PM EST

by the same rules that compel 2 plus 3 equals 5 to submit an entry. I fully expect that you'll submit something, no excuses. Especially since technically, you have till January 23.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]

yeah but it's summer by fleece (2.00 / 0) #20 Sun Jan 14, 2007 at 08:08:08 PM EST

i should be outside frolicking or whatever it is ppl do.

[ Parent ]

: go on a picnic by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #21 Mon Jan 15, 2007 at 08:04:57 AM EST

or take a walk on the beach with an ice cream cone. And a notebook in your pocket.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]

Damn it by Pasofol (2.00 / 0) #22 Tue Jan 16, 2007 at 04:29:48 AM EST

I'm sitting and ready to write something but nothing is coming.

being ready is good by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #25 Tue Jan 16, 2007 at 06:01:36 AM EST

... but waiting for an idea to come won't get you anywhere.

Every time you eat something this week, think about it. Does it remind you of something, do you wish you were eating something else, and if so, what and why? What are you thinking about over lunch? Did you hear a really bad pun the other day, or ever? Or do this: write down twenty bad ideas for a WFC story. More if you can think of them. Then pick one of the ideas on your list and write it anyway, or combine two or more of them into one story. Or, if you're really stuck, pick three random things and start writing a story that includes all of them (and a pun and something about food, of course). A teaspoon, a cat, and a pickup truck. A newspaper, a maple leaf, some loose change.

Oh, and keep in mind that the word limit is actually quite short. To tell a complete story in that space, it's probably best to keep it focused mainly on one scene. Skip all the background and explanation, and go right to the interesting part. (If it helps you to write the background to get into the mood, then go ahead, but you'll probably have to cut a lot to make it fit.)

Good luck!

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]

I can do that by debacle (4.00 / 1) #26 Tue Jan 16, 2007 at 03:10:07 PM EST

Twenty bad ideas for a WFC story:

An anthropomorphic tomato (Tommy) discovers the meaning of Christmas with the help of John Travolta and Scientology.
Three young children discover the erotic nature of Chutes and Ladders.
Linus Torvalds rewrites War and Peace.
One night in Neverland (there could be a pun there).
Frank teaches Edna the particulars of the Kama Sutra, Quadrapalegics Edition.
The Cleveland Browns do Gone with the Wind.
Space aliens have a change of heart and decide that that knitting is more fulfilling than probing anuses.
Darth Vader on LSD.
Ghandi fights off the demons of Hell with the aid of his pet chihuahua.
Three old men touching themselves.
Nanites infiltrate a wall clock.
Office Space meets The Sound of Music.
An extended geneology of Ann Coulter.
West Virginia gets transported back to 3,800,000,000 BC.
Four old men touching themselves.
The first 1250 digits of 3.1.
The recounting of the Second American Civil War by Antonio Banderas.
The unnamed protagonist sets fire to a barn and then wets himself.
Snakes are on a plane.
Benjamin Franklin's genetic code translated into UTF-8.

IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]

: The Sound Of Office Space has potential by Scrymarch (2.00 / 0) #27 Wed Jan 17, 2007 at 05:28:38 AM EST

So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehn goodbye ...
_{The Political Science Department of the University of Woolloomooloo}
[ Parent ]

Well by Pasofol (2.00 / 0) #41 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 12:04:36 PM EST

time limit forced me to create something. If it's any good or even contains a pun I'm not sure of. I've hit the submit button and my work is done.

Reminds me of highschool and last minute projects. I didn't care for the quality aslong as I could hand in something. Hopefully more effort will be put into the next one.

[ Parent ]

: that's the idea by Kellnerin (4.00 / 2) #42 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 12:57:04 PM EST

The deadline is there to make yourself sit down and write -- and finish -- something, and then submit it so that everyone else can be a witness to the fact that yes, you did write a story. Once you've done it, you can work on improving your personal best.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]

sorry for the delay by 256 (4.00 / 2) #23 Tue Jan 16, 2007 at 05:33:16 AM EST

http://256k.org/wfc5
---
_{I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni}

: no worries by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #24 Tue Jan 16, 2007 at 05:38:59 AM EST

I think everyone's still in Stage 1: "They must be joking." Of course, the next few stages ought to be coming pretty fast.
Hosting is much appreciated, 256.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]

Problem on the upload site? by Scrymarch (2.00 / 0) #28 Sun Jan 21, 2007 at 01:57:45 AM EST

"Nine Panels" seems to have been overwritten by a version of "Fusion". Maybe the author of "Nine Panels" could resubmit?
_{The Political Science Department of the University of Woolloomooloo}

hmmm by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #29 Sun Jan 21, 2007 at 05:35:49 AM EST

perhaps we need a new guideline, like "Don't name your file 'WFC*'" because that's just too likely to cause collisions with another entry. At least, I'm assuming that's what happened.

Anyway, I happened to have the original "Nine Panels" open in a tab, so I've put a copy here until the author can delete the wrong version from the upload site and put up a new one.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]

that's totally what happened by 256 (2.00 / 0) #30 Sun Jan 21, 2007 at 08:30:38 AM EST

i've restored 9 panels.

and will fix that bug. i knew it existed but it hadn't been a problem until now. really the *FC app should rename all files using unique identifiers. and so it shall be.
---
_{I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni}

[ Parent ]

: maybe it's not a bug by 2 plus 3 equals 5 (4.00 / 1) #32 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 07:31:00 AM EST

Maybe the app knows that 9 Panels isn't about food, and thus should be disqualified. Now I'll go anthropomorphize somewhere else, maybe write a story before 4:00. Maybe I'll write the Portnoy's Complaint scene from the point of view of the piece of liver.

-- Do the math.
[ Parent ]

goddamnit, i hate you by persimmon (2.00 / 0) #36 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 08:14:39 AM EST

I should have pushed for a lower word limit. I've written two stories but neither of them seem extensible enough.
-----
_{"Nature is such a fucking plagarist."}

Get tix by ana

(2.00 / 0) #37 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 08:23:58 AM EST

to contribute another handful of unacknowledged puns.

Regular, or decaf abomination? --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]

if it makes you feel any better by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #38 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 08:24:46 AM EST

I struggled to make mine fit in the word range too. Maybe try weaving the two stories together, like "Doubled Duplicity" in the original WFC.

Otherwise, if I've stymied my co-host, does that mean I win (... your everlasting hatred)?

See also a forthcoming email.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn

[ Parent ]

well, you win something by persimmon (2.00 / 0) #39 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 08:49:19 AM EST

I wish I hadn't leaned so far to the evil side, but then I'm also having my usual problem with nothing actually happening during the narrative itself, and one is already a mix of two stories.

I have a three-hour class to get to, so this is a complete wash for me. Damnit.
-----
_{"Nature is such a fucking plagarist."}

[ Parent ]

: well damn by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #40 Mon Jan 22, 2007 at 09:19:35 AM EST

I really didn't mean to lock you out completely, even if I did intend to set it up in such a way that I wouldn't win (but I could have done that with half the requirements). I think I've just learned a lot about how to run WFCs, while simultaneously guaranteeing that no one will ever want to give me the chance again.
Well, at least this one went quickly, and hopefully the writers and readers of Husi will look forward to WFC6 even more eagerly.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]

isn't this over? by fleece (2.00 / 0) #43 Tue Jan 23, 2007 at 04:19:49 PM EST

: why yes ... by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #44 Tue Jan 23, 2007 at 04:23:32 PM EST

... see here.

--
"If a tree is impetuous in the woods, does it make a sound?" -- aethucyn
[ Parent ]

WFC5: Pot Luck - An Invitation | 45 comments (45 topical, 0 hidden)