Print Story True Stories of the Witch House
Funny stuff
By Captain Tenille (Thu Sep 21, 2006 at 12:16:44 PM EST) roommates, punk house, witch house (all tags)
Some background:

The Witch House was one of the oldest punk houses in Olympia back when I lived in it, so called because back in the 80s, some witches lived there. Over the years, many people came and went. The most famous tenant was probably Kathleen Hanna (who had the room I had, by amazing coincidence) (I bought a couch from her when I moved in there and had it for years). People still live there, even though it should have been condemned years ago, but I'm not sure how punk it is now. It got remodeled a bit after I left, but when I lived there, no one had done anything to it for years. It fit the punk house bill to a 'T', complete with the landlord who was this fast talking old guy who wore a lot of gold and left his shirt unbuttoned enough so you could see his gray chest hair and gold chains.

A lot of stuff happened at that house, and I feel like I should share some of it with all of you. If I feel motivated enough, perhaps I'll continue relating stories about my time there. For now, though, a few starters:

Remember: All of these stories are absolutely true. Some shit you just can't make up.

One: Next to the Witch House, there was a Les Schwab billboard, supposedly the oldest billboard in Olympia. Sadly, in the intervening years, it was finally replaced. When we first moved in, the previous tenants, who were friends of mine, warned me in no uncertain terms that, "while it might seem like a good idea at the time, don't drink on the sign." They had learned this from personal experience. Apparently, they had been drinking on the sign with some girls one evening, and the cops came by (because you can't just sit there drinking on the sign). The girls decided to do the smart thing and run from the cops -- right into the house. The house with a giant bong in the living room. Somehow, they managed not to get in trouble for the bong, as I recall, but the whole incident went badly.

The whole time I lived there, we religiously avoided drinking on the sign.

Two: One day, we were sitting around drinking, smoking, etc. Standard Witch House activities. Unfortunately, once we'd gotten good and liquored up, my roommate Crazy Tom, who is actually schizophrenic, although we didn't know it at the time, decided to bring out this 9,000 volt transformer and show off how you could make a Jacob's Ladder with it.

Bzzzzt. Bzzzzt.

It was pretty cool, and we all said so. We sat around talking about how "Oh my God! If you touched that, you'd totally die!" Then we started lighting our cigarettes with it. For several months after that, until Tom moved out, we used it as the house lighter. If you needed a light, you'd just plug it in, light your cigarette off the electricity, and smoke away. I don't know how we didn't kill ourselves.

Three: In the living room, there was some trim that was about four inches below the ceiling. Why, I have no idea. Perhaps it was all the rage in the 1910's, when the house was built. The kitchen even still had an ice box (like you put ice in to keep things cool with a vent to the outside) and the original circuit breaker. It was longer active and had been painted over many times, but it was still on the wall above the refrigerator. The refrigerator, interestingly enough, was not actually in the kitchen, but an entirely different room. When I first moved in, I got confused and somehow thought there were two refrigerators. I thought that was great, because then we could have one fridge for food, and one for beer. Alas, it was not to be. Instead, we just had one fridge for beer.

One day, someone figured out that you could stick cigarette packs in the ceiling trim if you rolled up newspaper and put in between the ceiling and the cigarette pack. We worked on this project for quite a while, and had most of the perimeter of the ceiling framed with cigarette packs. It was quite a sight.

Future installment: If you're all very good and eat your oatmeal, I'll tell you about the time that something that seemed like a good idea at the time almost caused the ceiling to collapse!

< Error: invalid/empty/unimaginative fields: Title | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
True Stories of the Witch House | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden)
ZOMG by 256 (2.00 / 0) #1 Thu Sep 21, 2006 at 01:33:55 PM EST
you used to live in my life right now.
I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni
stop rubbing it in by komet (4.00 / 2) #2 Thu Sep 21, 2006 at 01:45:15 PM EST
one day you, too, will live in a boring house.


<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.

[ Parent ]
That's the hope, anway by Captain Tenille (4.00 / 1) #3 Thu Sep 21, 2006 at 01:55:55 PM EST
I'm glad I lived there and all, but I'm also fucking glad I don't live there now. YMMV.


/* You are not expected to understand this. */

[ Parent ]
CT finds plenty of excitement by calla (2.00 / 0) #5 Thu Sep 21, 2006 at 07:12:16 PM EST
in his houses.

I didn't realize that he had a history of being hard on homes.

"but i have a vested interest in keeping the people who see me naked interested in continuing to see me naked." 256

[ Parent ]
I could tell that you were once a wild man. by calla (2.00 / 0) #4 Thu Sep 21, 2006 at 07:06:14 PM EST
You've got that crazy look in your eyes.

I'm ashamed that we haven't gotten together for quite some time. We're all so busy now - aren't we? I'll have my social secretary call your events and planning manager, k?

I finished all of my oatmeal, so I get more stories?

Is your better half doing her thing in Puyallup now?

"but i have a vested interest in keeping the people who see me naked interested in continuing to see me naked." 256

She is. by Captain Tenille (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Sep 22, 2006 at 12:13:14 AM EST
Perhaps we can all get together sometime.


/* You are not expected to understand this. */

[ Parent ]
Which building? by calla (2.00 / 0) #7 Fri Sep 22, 2006 at 08:02:32 PM EST
The first, the middle or the pretty yellow end?

I'm there every week.

"but i have a vested interest in keeping the people who see me naked interested in continuing to see me naked." 256

[ Parent ]
True Stories of the Witch House | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden)