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By ReallyEvilCanine (Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 04:16:57 AM EST) A Day in the Life, databases, WTF, pie (all tags)

This is a joke, right?

"Hi. We want to know what it takes to change database platforms."

That's simple enough: a full re-installation since scripts are loaded at installation based on the database. IBM, Oracle and MS SQL Server have different column types, mechanisms, tuning methods and so forth. We also optimise our SQL based on the DB vendor.

And then I read on:

Of course I copied this over to the blog.

"We want to know this because we're planning to upgrade our database from Oracle to MS SQL Server." [Emphasis mine.]

They can't be serious.

Except that they are.

Upgrading a database from Oracle to Microsoft SQL Server is like upgrading a Ferarri to a Ford Festiva. Especially if you plan to use Unicode, since MS still only support UCS-2 even in SQL Server 2005. Imagine Sony still only making beta recorders and refusing to make VHS machines.

Root Cause-7 Environment-specific.
It deserves a seventeen, bitches. A big, honking seventeen.

We get a question like this a couple times each month.

< [Redacted] | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >

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A Day in the Life | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)

Well by jump the ladder (4.00 / 2) #1 Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 04:19:30 AM EST

Be thankfully they weren't going to use the much more feature rich environment of MS Access instead...

: Excel by blixco (4.00 / 2) #6 Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 04:46:41 AM EST

is the answer to all of your questions.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]

Why are you so unhelpful to your customers? by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #2 Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 04:30:21 AM EST

You wouldn't give them this attitude if they changed from a Dell mouse to a Microsoft mouse.

Because I hate America. by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 1) #3 Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 04:37:08 AM EST

I'd have a hard time faulting anyone switching away from Dell anything. Unfortunately, my next work machine may well be a Dell. Silver lining: more material.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]

: I've got a Dell desktop at work by jump the ladder (4.00 / 1) #4 Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 04:39:31 AM EST

Seems fine as it doesn't come with all the pre-loaded crap that the consumer versions come with.

[ Parent ]
: I just changed work machines by gpig (2.00 / 0) #7 Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 05:17:51 AM EST

from a Dell running Windows XP to a Sun Opteron box running Linux.
It's Fedora Core, but still an improvement.
:)
---
(, ,') -- eep
[ Parent ]
: Dells Are Dangerous by Improbus (2.00 / 0) #8 Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 06:44:44 AM EST

Just check out this story (with photos).

If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago. --- Oma Desala
[ Parent ]

Clearly by jayhawk88 (4.00 / 1) #5 Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 04:44:41 AM EST

You fail to realize the sheer awesome power of Query Analyzer.

Betamax is technically superior to VHS by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #9 Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 07:19:08 AM EST

But I commend you on going with the herd and being suckered by marketing. You're a true American hero.

By the way, I accidentally clicked on your blog link, so please don't count that page impression.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

Oh Noes!! Borg supports open formats! by ReallyEvilCanine (4.00 / 2) #10 Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 07:59:30 AM EST

Of course Beta (closed proprietary format) was superior to VHS (open format). But the closed format, high licensing and hardware fees killedit. You'd think Sony would've learned their lesson. High-end video production used it for a while but since no one bought the Sony shit the tapes became prohibitively expensive and Apple/Amiga video editing hardware started supporting RAID-0. End of Beta.

Don't worry about the click: AdSense isn't coming up. I keep getting Error 205s trying to set up the banner (in preparation for a different site because this shit's never going to earn me any money; it's just a "productive" way of venting). I can't find anything on how to fix this shit so that the banners show up. This does not bode well for the up-and-coming site from which I don't think a slight bit of profit is too much to ask.

the internet: amplifier of stupidity -- discordia

[ Parent ]

: Good recovery by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #11 Thu Jun 22, 2006 at 08:22:59 AM EST

I'm still watching your fumble on slowmo replay though.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]

A Day in the Life | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)