you need:
100 grams soba noodles (i like Wang brand, YMMV)
100 to 200 grams red cabbage
5 grams seasoned nori (seasoned with sesame oil and salt, NOT with sugar. if necessary, buy sushi nori and season yourself)
one chive stalk
one half roma tomato

cook noodles in heavily salted water until quite soft. rinse with very cold water. drain. rinse again.

chop tomato and stir into cold noodles.

place noodles and tomato in bowl.

chop cabbage and chives finely, add to bowl.

top with crushed nori.

season with soy sauce and sriracha to taste.

serve cold with side of gim ji.
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_{I don't think anyone's ever really died from smoking. --ni}

1tsp    chili powder
1tsp    crushed garlic
1tsp    crushed ginger
1.5tsp  black cumin seeds
1.5tsp  coriander
1tsp    salt
2tsp    garam masala
3       or so green chilis
fresh coriander

Instructions:
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Mix the spices and yoghurt up in a bucket and throw in the chicken parts and puree.  Leave this to one side.  In a thick bottomed pot, melt the butter and fry the onions until they are sort of translucent.  Pump up the heat, throw the yoghurt/puree/spice/chicken mix into the
seething oil and stir fry, stirring continuously in big loops, for 5 minutes or more.  Turn down the heat to about simmering temperature and add about 0.25 - 0.3 pint water.  Let this simmer/cook for about 30 minutes or until you have started biting the table with the wonderful smell coming from the pot.  Chop up the green chilis and coriander, and dunk them in.  Cook for a further 10 mins, then serve with basmati rice, naan and some sort of daal.

An Indian (ish) dish that doesn't take 2 hours.

• One box Kraft Mac N Cheese
• One tablespoon mustard
• One small can sliced jalapenos

Cook as per box
At the "add cheese powder step" add one mustard and jalapenos.

Serve with a cold Dos Equus.
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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman

it's simple: take a ceramic baking pan of your choice (i use 8x8, but larger is fine) and fill it about 3/4 with uncooked penne noodles. this is the "measuring" step. then you cook the noodles until they're nearly done, but not quite. while they're boiling, slice/ball the sausage of your choice. because i'm spoiled, i use Johnsonville Irish Garlic, but any type of sausage or meat will be fine. if you nuke or pre-fry the meat, it gets done faster, but again, your call.

then, you plop the noodles back in the pan, stir in the meat chunks, pour on enough sketti sauce to mostly coat it all, and cover it in whatever cheese you want. i like mozzerella and parmesan, but i've used provolone and cheddar as well. then you bake it for about 20 mins (longer if you didnt precook the meat) at 350ish until the cheese gets bubbly and delicious looking.

there, it's a simple (but freakin delicious) meal. you mostly use pre-prepared ingredients, but since i live in an area where ethnic=weird to most people, i gotta make do.
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Dance On, Gir!

What kind of recipe? Pick a style at least. I mean, if you want Italian-ish, LilFlightTest's lazy lasagne is great thanks to time saved. You mentioned Thai. My specialtes are Asian and Italian but I'm doing the Froggie/Belgian thing now (very complicated and time-consuming).

Easy Thai:

Clisce up some lemon grass. Fry at medium temp for 2-3 mins in at least 3T veg (peanut is bst) oil. Pull out lemon grass, leave oil. Add slived veg (hardest to softest). Add thin-sliced meat. Add curry paste and coconut milk. Turn down heat. Let simmer. Add glass noodles 1 minute before serving. Yay, Thai!

woof.

OMG WE'RE FUCKED! -- duxup ?

2 Swordfish steaks (~1.5lbs)
2 bunches baby bok choy
Salt & pepper
Olive oil
1 cup red wine (big pinots are good, a nice cab would work as well)
1 tbs wasabi paste
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 tbs Lime juice (optional)

Pat dry swordfish steaks, brush steaks with olive oil, cover with salt and pepper to taste. Preheat heavy pan, brush with olive oil. Mix red wine, soy sauce, wasabi, and lime. When pan is almost smoking add steaks. Cook ~4 minutes to side, cook through, center should be opaque/white.

Deglaze pan with wine sauce, add bok choy leaves, cook for 1-2 minutes or until stalks are tender and leaves wilted. Remove bok choy and continue reducing sauce.

Serve steaks and bok choy drizzled with wine reduction.

PS: The wasabi looses most of its heat in the cooking process.

-Lin Dze
Arbeit Macht Frei

2)  Melt 2-3 Tbs butter.  Fry 1 chopped large onion, 3 cloves minced garlic and about 1 Tbs minced ginger (if fresh) for 2 minutes.  Add approximately
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp ground cumin
2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp cardamom
dash cinnamon
half dash ground cloves, or less, or none
some salt
(all to taste)
and fry for two more minutes.

3)  Add 1 can chick peas minus half the water.

4)  Add 8 oz of peeled  canned tomatoes, crushed by hand (no kidding)

5)  Add red pepper flakes to taste.

6)  Cook until rice is done.

7)  Add 2 Tbs lemon juice.

Serve over rice in big bowls.

"Beautiful wine, talking of scattered everythings"
(and thanks to Scrymarch)