Print Story Avast ye lubbers!
By Metatone (Wed Jun 14, 2006 at 09:03:42 AM EST) footy, the slightly damaged ship, Mindless Optimism (all tags)
Man the pumps!

<<Camera zooms into the bridge of a battered WW2, tricked out with a whole bunch of alarms, warning lights and controls that all seem to mysteriously date from 1966.>>

<<Shouting... off screen>>

What happened?

Damn Paraguayan shelling, we're taking water...

But Sir, we came through? They barely got a shot on target?

Aye lad... but...


there is a terror in the deep. It's black and it's liquid. It's like it's alive. Even the smallest splinters from the Paraguayan bombardment can give it an opening...

Where's it come from?

It's an ancient terror, but it surfaces mostly in Wapping and Fleet Street. Of course, recently there've been sightings in the vicinity of the right side of yicky yacky's brain.

What can we do?

Don't worry lad, much more from him and we'll lock him in the brig and pipe in Ant and Dec's "On The Ball" until he signs the confession.

But sir, the crew of the Mindless Optimism needs more than that, we need some words of optimism! After all, we're still waiting for a decent world cup song...

Throw on Three Lions again and maybe play that bit from "Sven, Sven, Sven," you know, that bit... "Gerrard's nutmegged Hamann, we're toying with them, we're showboating with Germany" and I'll prepare some thoughts to post...

<<camera cuts to a wastebasket full of crumpled papers and a pen crossing out the latest attempt...>>

Stout hearted English of the Good Ship Mindless Optimism. I know the fear is upon you. We have three points, but the barrage of negativity has been strong.

I won't lie to you, our first performance wasn't everything we wanted. But you know we are better than that. Every team has an off day and I'm confident we can come back stronger.

This game is Trinidad and Tobago. Sweden were put off by the sheer helter-skelter of their game. The energy, the drive, the running, the thud and blunder. In short, Sweden ran into an FA Cup match and they didn't like it. This is not a style of play we need to fear.

Now, I can hear some rumbling that the next game isn't the problem, it's going all the way. So here's three reasons to be optimistic:

  1. Defence: We still have some of the best defenders in the game. That's always part of winning a World Cup.
  2. Midfield: Joe Cole is looking better and better. We've found a creative force. We have a dead ball specialist as good as any in the world in Beckham. Gerrard's back was hurting in the last match, he'll be better in this match and that will help the partnership with Lampard too.
  3. Attack: Owen will be sharper this time. He'll have been working hard all week and the results will show. He's conscientious that way. Crouch will have got the hang of the refereeing and will have a much better time of it. No more letting the pressure for the opposition due to free kicks for climbing.
And of course, lurking in the deep, is an armoured battle station...
< i'm just about birthdayed out | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Avast ye lubbers! | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden)
Remember the Supermarine Spitfire by cam (4.00 / 2) #1 Wed Jun 14, 2006 at 09:58:48 AM EST

And something about never having beaches ...

Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

hey I just realized by martingale (4.00 / 2) #5 Wed Jun 14, 2006 at 03:52:03 PM EST
They're called supermarine because they fly over water, right?

Damn, it only took me 20 years to figure that out!
$E(X_t|F_s) = X_s,\quad t > s$

[ Parent ]
To be truthful by cam (4.00 / 2) #6 Wed Jun 14, 2006 at 05:50:16 PM EST
I dont know the origins of the Supermarine name. I know they did those float based racing aircraft in the 20s and 30s.

Wiki to the rescue;

Supermarine was a British aircraft manufacturer. It was set up by Noel Pemberton-Billing as Pemberton-Billing Ltd in 1913 to produce sea-going aircraft. Upon election as an MP in 1916 he sold the company to Hubert Scott-Paine who renamed the company Supermarine Aviation Works Ltd. The company became famous for its successes in the Schneider Trophy for seaplanes, especially the three wins in a row of 1927, 1929 and 1931.

In 1928 Vickers Aviation took over Supermarine to become Supermarine Aviation Works (Vickers) Ltd. In 1938 it was part of Vickers-Armstrong (Aircraft) Ltd.

hmmm the big-ass boats the RNAS used in WWI were Felixtowes, Shorts and Curtiss'. Dont know of any WWI supermarine flying boat.

Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]
very interesting by martingale (4.00 / 1) #7 Wed Jun 14, 2006 at 09:34:27 PM EST
That Noel Pemberton-Billing was quite a character.
$E(X_t|F_s) = X_s,\quad t > s$
[ Parent ]
(Comment Deleted) by yicky yacky (4.00 / 2) #2 Wed Jun 14, 2006 at 10:00:56 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by yicky yacky

I only post these diaries... by Metatone (4.00 / 2) #3 Wed Jun 14, 2006 at 10:29:22 AM EST
to keep the paranoid side of my brain quiet for a little while.

It's not easy being an England fan.

I still think someone with your talent could cut up all those football songs and glue up the remix of the summer...

[ Parent ]
HMO Mindless Optimism Cabin Report by Breaker (4.00 / 3) #4 Wed Jun 14, 2006 at 01:56:45 PM EST

A fine stirring speech, Captain, but if this lowly cabin boy may make some observations:

I've recovered slightly by nebbish (4.00 / 2) #8 Wed Jun 14, 2006 at 11:52:25 PM EST
From my ecstasy-induced pessimism and am feeling a bit more positive today. A good match tonight will have me hanging from the front of the ship, arms spread, like her off Titanic.

It's political correctness gone mad!

We're going to win by TPD (2.00 / 0) #9 Thu Jun 15, 2006 at 12:14:52 AM EST
not just this game but the 5 following it too!

Come on ENGLAND!

why sit, when you can sit and swivel with The Ab-SwivellerTM

Avast ye lubbers! | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden)