Print Story Sloppy Words
By veldmon (Thu May 11, 2006 at 02:45:34 AM EST) hermaphrodite, linux (all tags)
It would be an understatement to say that I was surprised when my girlfriend informed me that she's a hermaphrodite. Twice we had sex in the three years we've been together. Neither time was I able to see much since she preferred absolute darkness. I do recall however an act that may be peculiar. As I had seen in myriad pornographic films, it was the man who should guide his own magic wand into the warm, damp hat to reveal the white rabbit. Yet both times she had brushed my hand aside taking responsibility for the package. Was I escorted past security, I've been asking myself.

Luckily my worries have been unfounded. I found out this morning that she meant it metaphorically as she will now be carrying around a real man's operating system in her pocket. Specifically the Sharp Zaurus SL-5500 chariot in which Linux will ride, available at the participating store.
< Attention codemonkey_uk infidel, Re: Pure Joy | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Sloppy Words | 8 comments (8 topical, 0 hidden)
Don't worry, she's all woman by DesiredUsername (3.62 / 8) #1 Thu May 11, 2006 at 02:56:29 AM EST
Sex only twice in 3 years. Guys, am I right?

Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
Wow by theboz (4.00 / 2) #5 Thu May 11, 2006 at 03:44:30 AM EST
I would not stay with someone who was like that. Twice a week is stretching it thin (excluding sickness, periods, etc.)
- - - - -
That's what I always say about you, boz, you have a good memory for random facts about pussy. -- joh3n
[ Parent ]
ObWhatWoodyBelievesInPost by The Fool (4.00 / 2) #6 Thu May 11, 2006 at 05:49:10 AM EST
Sex and death - two things that come once in a lifetime... but at least after death, you're not nauseous.

[ Parent ]
I dont buy it by joh3n (4.00 / 2) #2 Thu May 11, 2006 at 03:14:42 AM EST
Who would actually want a linux handheld?

i wish they'd make hitler toilet paper

Check her bookmarks. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #4 Thu May 11, 2006 at 03:28:56 AM EST
I bet she reads slashdot, too.

[ Parent ]
That's awful by hulver (4.00 / 5) #3 Thu May 11, 2006 at 03:20:03 AM EST
Are you going to leave her for someone who washes?
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
Listen UP, you NOBJOCKEYS by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #7 Thu May 11, 2006 at 07:09:43 AM EST
If this isn't on the front page by the end of the day, I'm cutting you cockspaniels off[1].

[1] For the weekend.

Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

white rabbit? by clover kicker (4.00 / 2) #8 Thu May 11, 2006 at 07:45:16 AM EST
I've been doing it all wrong!

Sloppy Words | 8 comments (8 topical, 0 hidden)