My wife (who will remain anonymous and is obviously jealous of husi women with large breasts) was at a job interview, and I drove her.  But for some completely unknown reason I forgot to bring any reading material with me, so I got pretty bored sitting around waiting for her.  I first used the near-empty water bottles and stray napkins, and when those ran out I used some kleenex(tm).  But that didn't work really well, and she was still in her interview and I had no idea how long it was going to be.  So I went to the store and bought some multi-function Windex(tm) for $3.49 and a roll of paper towels for $0.99.

I first did all the plastic surfaces of the inside of the car.  But still, I was waiting.  Then I did all the windows, inside and out.  But still, nothing.  Then the headlights... then the front and back, then the roof, then the doors and finally the sides.  Just when I was nearing completion she emerged with a job, and my car cleaning was complete.  In case you are ever in such a situation yourself, it may be nice to know that I used nearly a full roll for my little Civic(tm) hatchback so if you're driving a real hulk you may as well cut some extra trees down while you're windexing your car.

Except perhaps for the time I got it professionally detailed, I think my car is now the cleanest it has ever been since I bought it.

Did you know? I got a pony in my email yesterday.
Did you know? I got Columbo in my mail today.

Yesterday I drank some lychee tea for breakfast, had a giant Dr Pepper for lunch and quickly followed that up with a very large Starbucks coffee. I felt absolutely rotten, my whole body was tremoring... the little jitters and shaking lasted for many hours. It took until about midnight until I actually stopped feeling like I was still moving involuntarily, and even then I could only get to sleep at about 4:00am. I usually get withdrawl headaches when I don't drink caffeine, but so far today I've not had any... which is perhaps telling as to just how much I had in my system yesterday. Not going to re-do that anytime soon.

True story:I AM NOT A FISH
True story:JOH3N IS A BANANA

I had something else to say, but I forget what now.  Oh well.  Oh I actually remembered now, but that topic deserves its own diary.

Oh, another thing: if anyone here saw Wednesday's South Park, do not forget that many moons ago I made the prediction on this very site here that South Park would bring about WWIII.  My prediction is moving closer to reality!

< a snippet of courier life | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
I did a silly thing yesterday | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)
I probably shouldn't say anything by skippy (4.00 / 1) #1 Fri Apr 07, 2006 at 01:40:17 PM EST
because no doubt this will be taken out of context in the future and used to destroy me, but your wife definitely has no need to be jealous.  And I thought that even before following your link.

So she has a job now?  Good news, everybody!

Regarding caffeine intake, if I have a large cup of coffee then I get random heart palpatations for the next 12 hours.  I now drink one or two cups per WEEK.  Sigh.

Don't worry by theantix (4.00 / 1) #2 Fri Apr 07, 2006 at 01:44:07 PM EST
I have already forwarded your comment to the proper authorities and you will be dealt with appropriately.

And yeah, she got a good jorb so that leaves only one of us needing a job now...

You sir, are worse than Hitler.

[ Parent ]
You err by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #3 Fri Apr 07, 2006 at 03:55:27 PM EST
joh3n is not a banana.

606 is a banana.

A dancing banana.
Close friendships and a private room can offer most of the things love does.

I'm sorry, but it is you who is errant by theantix (2.00 / 0) #5 Fri Apr 07, 2006 at 10:05:06 PM EST
606 may well be a dancinc banana (this is in fact correct), but joh3n is a banana.

I am sorry for the (your) confusion.

You sir, are worse than Hitler.

[ Parent ]
I stand corrected by ad hoc (2.00 / 0) #8 Sat Apr 08, 2006 at 06:24:52 AM EST
Sir! I had *no* idea! by ammoniacal (2.00 / 0) #4 Fri Apr 07, 2006 at 07:59:34 PM EST
All that and brainy?
Normally, I'm a bit more vigilant about these matters. I salute you!

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

Oh god, my eyes! by theantix (4.00 / 1) #6 Fri Apr 07, 2006 at 10:06:17 PM EST
Next time, salute with your hand.  please!

You sir, are worse than Hitler.
[ Parent ]
She sent you *those* pics? by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #9 Sat Apr 08, 2006 at 09:41:49 AM EST
She is in some seriously hot water now.

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
You... and her... and that... by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #7 Fri Apr 07, 2006 at 10:38:36 PM EST
For some reason I now find myself much more inclined to read your diaries.  I knew I was shallow, but I think I've surprised even myself with that.

Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
You, sir, are an inspiration. by ambrosen (4.00 / 1) #10 Sun Apr 09, 2006 at 06:59:57 AM EST
I will henceforth suffer from much less glare than I would have otherwise, due to your truly inspiring me to clean the windows of my car. The insides seem to have a thin film of oily soot on, which can't be pleasant.

How dare you besmirch me!?!?!? by joh3n (4.00 / 1) #11 Mon Apr 10, 2006 at 02:30:09 AM EST
I am also a squeaky guy!


I did a silly thing yesterday | 11 comments (11 topical, 0 hidden)