Print Story Yesterday's Hero
By Christopher Robin was Murdered (Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 10:31:39 AM EST) (all tags)
Blisters on the inside of her nose. (P)laying dress-up. Help Hollywood: Marketing a disaster. Dinner with Dan. Books.

Office, Nose Burn

    Friday morning, Bella came into the office with blisters on her nose and upper lip.

    Thursday night, she was making some tea or something at home. She had the kettle on and it was steaming away. Somehow, she decided that the water she was boiling smelled funny. She tried waving some steam towards her nose, but the results were inconclusive. Eventually, confident she could move her head in and out of the steam fast enough to avoid harm, she decided to stick her nose directly in the path of the steam and take a quick sniff. It didn't work out like she'd hoped.
    She says she actually has some blisters on the inside of her nose. I'll take her word for it because I'm not going to try to check.

Bar, Drinks

    Happy hour at the Pound and Pence.

    Joan, apparently completely well-organized, got up from the table to hit the restrooms. Trying to navigate up and away from the table, she overturned a shopping bag she'd brought with her. Ollie, organized but no completely so, offer to help her gather her scattered belongings and then stood up holding two plastic-bag Halloween-style outfit sets – one for a Playboy bunny, one for a maid.
    "Joan," said Ollie over the general laughter, "Will you marry me?"
    "Please, people," said Joan. "Like you've never dressed up as a maid."
    "I promise I have never ever dressed up as a maid," I said.
    "Okay, once," said Pete. "But it was part of a charity auction."
    "What charity?"
    "A secret charity known only as the Pete is willing to be an ass for money fund. For children. With problems. And stuff."
    Ollie: "No maids. I'm all Catholic schoolgirl. The maid thing – too sick for me."
    "Look, you guys are missing stuff. I'm drunk, by I know what I mean and screw you."

    Later we discussed the trailer for the upcoming United 93. Apparently, people in New York have been walking out of the theaters, skipping their films, pissed off at the trailers. Several theaters have stopped showing them.
    The general consensus seemed to one of disgust, except for Pete who is looking forward to seeing it.

    I think I feel somewhere in the middle. It wouldn't surprise me if the movie was hard sell in NYC, but I suspect the rest of the country is settled to the idea of media recreations of 9/11. They may or may not like the movie, but I don't think, outside of directly impacted cities, the idea that this is "too soon" is common. I feel that NYC residents, objections or not, will simply have to learn to live with the fact that 9/11 is now mass media fodder.
    That said, I'm not going to go see it because it looks like crap. I was baffled by the decision of the studio's decision to include copy screens with things like "From the director of . . . " As if it were just another action flick. They even managed to get the action-flick voice over guy: "When the rest of us huddled in fear, they stood up." I half expected them to end the trailer with the release date and a marketing phrase: "Summer, 2006. Let's Roll."
    So, help the impoverished minds of Hollywood out. Pick the best marketing phrase for the upcoming flick "Untied 93." I will offer the winning catch phrase free to the four studios behind this soon-to-be cinematic classic and let's see it they can't work it into their future marketing efforts.


    Met my friend Dan for dinner. Dan's the one going through the nasty divorce.

    Last time I met with Dan, his soon to be ex had informed him that she and her new lover were getting married. Saturday he tells me that she told him that she was pregnant with Dan's baby.
    Dan expressed doubt since the last time that they had sex was last November and she was showing now signs of pregnancy.
    After fighting about it, the soon-to-be ex confessed that not only was she not pregnant, there is no wedding either.

    A week after that episode, she called to ask if he wanted to call off the divorce. He said he did not.

    After dinner, May caught up with us and we went to Double Happiness in Chinatown.


    Hit some used bookstores looking for the out-of-print works of B.S. Johnson. I finished House Mother Normal and it was probably the most interesting novel I've read so far this year. Sadly, Johnson appears to be completely out of print, at least on this side of the pond.
    I know I could just order them online. If they aren't still in print in the UK, I'm certain they can be found on Alibris or something, but that seems like cheating somehow. To truly feel satisfied, I need to hunt them down myself.

    Unfortunately, no dice. No B. S., as it were. I did score an English translation of a deuterocanonical Hugo text: Hans of Iceland. From what I can understand, it was his first novel, written almost a decade before Hunchback. I am inordinately excited at the prospect of this book, even though everything I've read suggests it is one of his weaker outings.
    I also found an old hardback of Sorrentino's Odd Numbers and Spike "of the Goon Show" Milligan's Rommel: Gunner Who?, his odd semi-novel, semi-memoir of his life in the British Army during World War II. Not a bad for a trip that was, technically, a failure.

< TAKE TEH PUZZ | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Yesterday's Hero | 26 comments (26 topical, 0 hidden)
9/11 - just another opportunity by calla (2.00 / 0) #1 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 10:38:06 AM EST
for ACTION!!!

Bella seems to get hurt A LOT.

Bella? by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #2 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 10:40:15 AM EST
Does she? I don't recall any other injuries. Now I wish I had used the damn tag system.

[ Parent ]
I thought it was Mojoan Dojoan last time by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 2) #3 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 10:41:28 AM EST
"They are here to crash planes into the World Trade Center and chew bubblegum...and they're all out of bubblegum"

Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
[ Parent ]
Good One for the Stone Flick by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #6 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 10:46:29 AM EST
But 93 wasn't headed to NYC. Would you be okay if we changed it to "Capitol"?

[ Parent ]
I'm off the project by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 1) #18 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 01:04:05 PM EST
and contacting my agent.

Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline
[ Parent ]
Read them all... by motty (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 10:42:07 AM EST
Adolf Hitler: My Part In His Downfall is the first part of Milligan's war memoirs. Rommel? Gunner Who? is (I think) the second. Then there's Mussolini: His Part In My Downfall, the third, and a couple of others too, one of which is Where Have All The Bullets Gone and I forget the name of the other. And there's a fifth too. And..

Oh sod it. Go here. It's all listed there on the left, along with everything else he ever published. All good.

I amd itn ecaptiaghle of drinking sthis d dar - Dr T

Funny by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 10:44:20 AM EST
I hadn't yet looked around for the other books and was wondering if the references to the first and third volumes were actually jokes. Good to know they exist.

Do you suggest trying to track them down so I can read them in order? I'm already a way in on the second and not reading the first hasn't really slowed me down.

[ Parent ]
I suggest tracking them down, yes by motty (2.00 / 0) #7 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 10:48:35 AM EST
But the order doesn't matter much, really, as a) they all pretty much stand alone, and b) you may want to read them more than once anyway (I did), so not having read them in order the first time won't matter a great deal. It all gets somewhat darker and more disjointed as the war goes on anyway.

I amd itn ecaptiaghle of drinking sthis d dar - Dr T
[ Parent ]
WIPO: by spacejack (4.00 / 2) #8 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 10:50:35 AM EST
"Snakes on a Plane"

I'd Be Willing to Wager . . . by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #9 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 10:52:19 AM EST
That if you told them that is was something the cool kids on that Internet were saying, they'd use it with no further explanations being offered.

[ Parent ]
Yeah by spacejack (4.00 / 1) #10 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 10:57:44 AM EST
I'd have to agree.

[ Parent ]
I've Fallen Victim to the Mad Magazine Rule by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #11 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 11:10:40 AM EST
Here I was, happily convinced this was safely in too-stupid-to-touch (that comes with a too-legit-to-quit like dance move, by the way) territory when I'm reminded, once again, that nothing is too stupid to touch.

[ Parent ]
"Sometimes You Call 911... by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 2) #12 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 11:47:42 AM EST
And sometimes 911 calls you. Flight 93: Get Brainfucked ALL OVER AGAIN."

I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da. We are a simple, grease-loving people who enjoy le weekend de ski.
Flight 93: Because some things... by ObviousTroll (4.00 / 1) #13 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 12:02:59 PM EST
should not be milked for profit or amusement.

You're no good to me dead. Even half-alive would be socially awkward. - Hugh MacLeod
Sadly, I Don't Think It's Sci-Fi/Fantasy. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #15 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 12:20:05 PM EST
Though, if it was some alternate universe tale, your inventive tagline might work.

[ Parent ]
It should be! by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #17 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 12:49:46 PM EST
They could make it the sequel to this.
[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
I hate to break it to you by hulver (4.00 / 2) #14 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 12:19:47 PM EST
9/11 was mass media fodder on 9/11, and has stayed that way ever since.
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
If You Hated It So Much, Why'd You Do It. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #16 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 12:31:25 PM EST
People should say something like, "It is my sneaking pleasure to deflate your delusion, so . . ."

Of course, you are correct.

I think most NYCer's were trying to draw some line between good and bad exploitation of the event. But the line is essentially a matter of taste and money, and, therefore, drawing it is not the privileged right of those, whoever they might be, that were directly impacted. That privilege goes to the guys with thick enough wallets and skins to make a contract and sign some deals.

[ Parent ]
Crazy wimminfolk by skippy (4.00 / 1) #19 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 01:49:56 PM EST
"Rargh, I hate you let's get divorced!"
"I have a new lover, he's SO much better than you!"
"By the way, we're getting married!"
"And I'm pregnant with your baby!"
"Errr, no I'm not.  And we're not getting married."
"Oh hey, you want to get back together?"


Dan Wishes It Started With "I Hate You." by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #20 Mon Apr 24, 2006 at 03:35:02 PM EST
It started with "Of course I missed you. Almost every time I sleep with my lover, I think of you."

Dan can't completely break contact with her yet because of the overly elaborate divorce laws of New Jersey. But, as soon as the house is sold, he's gone and all further contact will be through the lawyers.

[ Parent ]
United 93 by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #21 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 01:53:14 AM EST
Nothing is too sacred to be reinterpreted as art*

*using the word "art" in its broadest sense here.

It's political correctness gone mad!

From Now On, I Hate Art. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #22 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 04:14:14 AM EST
Why can't it just leave well enough alone?

It's always like "Look at me! I'm art! Buy me, pay for me, ponder my over-theorized elements, describe me with words like liminal."

Well to Hell with all that. From now on, whenever I run into art, I'm kicking it in the shins.

[ Parent ]
Go for it! by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #23 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 07:00:31 AM EST
Would make a good performance art piece...

It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
In the elevator yesterday, by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #24 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 07:23:21 AM EST
there was a "Captivate Network Poll" (Captivate being the people who run the elevator screens) on whether it's "too soon" to do a movie on 9/11. The screen instructed elevator passengers to go to Captivate's website and register their votes.

Aside from the question being posed, it struck me as an utterly useless way to conduct a poll. Who wants to memorize a URL in the fine print on their elevator screen so that they can click a button on some stupid poll? It'd have been better if it had been something like, "Press 1 for yes, 2 for no," but people who get off on the second floor (when I work on the third) already bother me. Maybe they need some kind of touchscreen upgrade. But then you would have to vote in front of all your fellow passengers and that raises issues of its own. So maybe we'll have to wait for brain chip technology so we can vote with our minds, resulting in a huge number of WIPOs for "Your poll is stupid."

Anyway, now that I am actually trying to find the poll (not having made note of the URL at the time), it seems Captivate isn't going out of its way to make it all that accessible, so I can't tell you what the consensus of Captivated elevator riders is on this hot issue.

Like you, I feel the fact that "this movie sucks" overrides the more general question of "how soon is too soon." However, when I saw the beginning of the trailer, I really wanted it to be for Snakes on a Plane, so when it turned out to be some crappy "based on a true story" flick that didn't feature Samuel L. Jackson at all, I was disappointed.

D missed the trailers (he was acquiring overpriced candy at the time), and thus enjoyed the movie that followed much less. I say this because he walked out of the theater saying, "that movie had no redeeming qualities whatsoever," while JD and I replied, "It was better than United 93 is going to be."

"later" meant either "when you walk around the corner" or "oatmeal."

All of which ignores the bigger question by notafurry (2.00 / 0) #25 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 01:43:58 PM EST
Why the fuck does an elevator need a touchscreen control panel, anyway?

[ Parent ]
only for polls by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #26 Tue Apr 25, 2006 at 01:58:16 PM EST
I should probably be more clear: there isn't a touch-screen now, just a regular display screen that shows headlines, random trivia, and advertising in the elevator. I'm just thinking of ways that the technology could become more interactive. There's got to be some way that the time that office workers spend in elevators could be harnessed somehow -- collaborative sudoku or something.

The basic "what floor do you want to go to" interface is still via buttons that light up when pushed.

"later" meant either "when you walk around the corner" or "oatmeal."

[ Parent ]
Yesterday's Hero | 26 comments (26 topical, 0 hidden)