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The Myth of Trust

By Christopher Robin was Murdered (Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 05:04:31 AM EST) (all tags)

The worst thing I've done in recent memory.

    "It isn't fair when you cry. I can't fight when you cry," I said.
    "I can't fight without crying," May said.
    "One could see that as a sign that things will work out."
    "I guess. You could if you were optimistic."
    "Yeah, I guess."
    I unlocked the heavy metal gate in front of the door.
    "Should I make dinner?" she asked.
    "If you want. I'm having a beer with Dan. After work."
    "So you don't want dinner?"
    "I was going to tell you earlier, but this stuff."
    "Sure." She pushed her hands deep into the pockets of her blue bathrobe. "I'll make dinner. If you're here, you're here."
    "Sure."
    And then I left for work.

What should have said was something like "I'm sorry, I'm wrong, it'll be alright, and I'll be home." But I didn't. What a worthless shit I am.

< A Day in the Life | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >

The Myth of Trust | 31 comments (31 topical, 0 hidden)

The Secret Of A Happy Marriage by DesiredUsername (4.00 / 5) #1 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 05:11:56 AM EST

When you are wrong, say "I'm wrong". When you are right, say "I'm wrong".

---
Now accepting suggestions for a new sigline

Too complicated by cam (4.00 / 2) #4 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 05:41:48 AM EST

Buy a two story house and live on different levels. Only interact for food and sex.

cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic

[ Parent ]

You Suddenly Forget How to Order Delivery? by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #6 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 05:44:43 AM EST

The fewer points of contact, the less friction.

[ Parent ]

: Ball bearings by blixco (4.00 / 2) #11 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 06:02:12 AM EST

and lubricant can help.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
: Sorry, my mistake by cam (2.00 / 0) #16 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 07:04:03 AM EST

the "and" should be a hyphen.
cam
Freedom, liberty, equity and an Australian Republic
[ Parent ]

Hmmm well by Gedvondur (4.00 / 2) #2 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 05:20:03 AM EST

Just make up for it, no use beating yourself up.

We all put our foot wrong with the wife/partner at some point. No matter how much we love someone, we are still human, and that means we fuck up regularly.

Gedvondur
"...it isn't like I dug up her great-grandmother and fucked her in the eye socket." -clock

definitely by mmangino (4.00 / 3) #3 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 05:25:15 AM EST

The hardest thing I've had to learn has been when I'm wrong. Even if I wasn't wrong in the argument, the fact that I acted wrongly by not patching things up before going to bed or leaving for work.

The fact that you realized your actions left room for improvement is what counts.

[ Parent ]

That Was the Case Here by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 05:42:59 AM EST

It wasn't what I was saying so much as I lost my cool. And then I was dick about it, letting it drag on longer than it needed to. It was all fairly childish.

[ Parent ]

we think we outgrow childishness, by garlic (3.00 / 2) #7 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 05:46:02 AM EST

but I don't think we do in relationships. We still try to win and score points even though it's only hurting to do it.

[ Parent ]

: That's so true by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #10 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 06:00:00 AM EST

But not universally true, so you only score a 3.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
: I sort of agree . . . by slozo (2.00 / 0) #29 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 04:09:46 PM EST

. . . so I gave you a three!
In the contaext of living with only one person, we don't tend to develop - we usually stagnate. That being said, I don't think CRwM did anything that terrible, but that's just me . . .

[ Parent ]

marriage is hard, dang hard by georgeha (4.00 / 2) #8 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 05:47:53 AM EST

and I'm still learing the ropes, after 10 1/2 years. Lately I'm going with total honesty and voicing my needs, at the appropriate times.

My IC would tell me to rephrase "It isn't fair when you cry. I can't fight when you cry," to something like

"When you cry, I go into an emotional overprotective mode and can't discuss things with you. You have a right to cry, but I need to have a less emotional scene to discuss this."

does that work? by garlic (4.00 / 1) #21 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 08:36:16 AM EST

[ Parent ]

: Ask me in 20 years by georgeha (4.00 / 1) #23 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 08:44:49 AM EST

or maybe summer of 2007.

[ Parent ]

Dibs on your dinner by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #9 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 05:58:55 AM EST

Is it pie?

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

I Don't Know What's for Dinner. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (3.50 / 2) #12 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 06:39:58 AM EST

Given how I've acted, most likely broken glass in a rat poison reduction sauce, with an asbestos and steel wool salad on the side.

It's all yours.

[ Parent ]

: Deep fry that and it's a deal by Rogerborg (4.00 / 3) #15 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 07:03:17 AM EST

Flagellating yourself here isn't keeping you off the couch tonight: don't 'gas' stations in your country stock bunches of cheap flowers?

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
: As long as it's warm by hulver (4.00 / 1) #28 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 12:56:05 PM EST

and on the table the minute you walk through the door.
--
Cheese is not a hat. - clock
[ Parent ]

well, by webwench (4.00 / 11) #13 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 06:55:13 AM EST

call her and tell her that, you big silly.

^{Getting more attention than you since 1998.}

Already Done. n/t by Christopher Robin was Murdered (3.85 / 7) #14 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 07:03:16 AM EST

[ Parent ]

Then you're totally getting laid tonight by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #17 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 07:07:02 AM EST

And you want sympathy?

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

[ Parent ]

She's Given Me a Shopping List by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 2) #20 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 08:29:01 AM EST

One bottle of baby oil
Two-foot length of black silk
Silver or white Mexican wrestling mask
Handcuffs
"The Hanging Judge" (next to that she's written "see attached diagram")
Costume eyeglasses of the naughty librarian type
Inflatable wading pool
Enema kit and three bottles of Belvedere vodka
Full body costume of the dragon from "Pete's Dragon"
Pair of pom-poms

It goes on for several pages like that . . .

I mention this because I'm more confused than ever about what's for dinner?

[ Parent ]

WWRD? by ad hoc (4.00 / 3) #18 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 07:43:47 AM EST

--
Close friendships and a private room can offer most of the things love does.

: She Would Say: by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 2) #19 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 07:52:18 AM EST

"She's probably not even available yet. Nevada.
This is absolutely disgusting. Eeewww.
What is this? Corn.
I can't work like this.
I like corn. You know, not really. I don't know why I said that. Probably just for attention."

[ Parent ]

Tangential connections by sasquatchan (4.00 / 2) #22 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 08:43:26 AM EST

had a monthly breakfast with a good friend of mine. Older guy, I respect him a lot. We share our lives, families etc. Today, ended up talking about how we handle anger with our spouses. He said something along the lines of anger is a reaction, not a base emotion. Hurt, fear and guilt are the base emotions that tend to cause anger. Learning to communicate what caused the hurt/fear/guilt can go a long way. (Came up b/c the Mrs and I were in something similar over the weekend.)

If I'm making dinner by calla (4.00 / 2) #24 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 10:29:21 AM EST

I really want to know when someone is going to be home. Less than 30 mins late - not that big a deal. More than 30 mins and I'm wondering why I bothered cooking.

I'm just saying this because I think there's just not enough respect for those that make dinner in general.

We Take Turns Cooking by Christopher Robin was Murdered (4.00 / 1) #25 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 10:34:35 AM EST

So we've both been late and we both have learned how much it sucks to cook something and have the other pull a late showing.

We try to be more respectful now, as a general rule.

[ Parent ]

Wait a second by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #26 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 10:53:12 AM EST

You can cook too?

Hang on, I have a... contract... to examine.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.

[ Parent ]

I made Herring's lasagna by calla (4.00 / 1) #27 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 11:01:58 AM EST

last night. It was good.

Having someone around who eats and appreciates what I cook is swell.

I was trained in all the domestic arts at church. Mormons have a thing about making sure their women are good for something.

[ Parent ]

: I thought that something was three and foursomes by debacle (4.00 / 1) #30 Wed Apr 12, 2006 at 05:22:46 PM EST

I guess I was wrong. Dead wrong.
Can you make me some potato salad?
IF YOU HAVE TWO FIRLES THOROWNF MONEY ART SUOCIDE GIRLS STRIPPER HPW CAN YPUS :OSE?!?!?!?(elcevisides).

[ Parent ]

bummer by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #31 Thu Apr 13, 2006 at 01:58:27 AM EST

fighting sucks.
Send me to Austria!

The Myth of Trust | 31 comments (31 topical, 0 hidden)

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