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By toxicfur (Mon Mar 06, 2006 at 05:29:21 PM EST) $evil_project, Teh Dawg, critters, photos, tattoos, headlines (all tags)
In which I prattle on about $evil_project and a couple of critters, and in which I summon the attention of Kellnerin infidel and ad hoc infidel.


Tonight will probably be a late-ish one again, thanks to $evil_project, and my inability to work efficiently today. Geez. I'm afraid to count how many times I've typed "efficiently" for this project. It just trips right off my fingertips. The argot for a project such as this one is nauseatingly business-speak-lite. The buzzwords are "transformative" and "effective" and "collaboration" and "implementation" and a few that would be a bit too traceable for my comfort. Blech.

If we don't finish this project soon, I'm going to lose what's left of my mind. Especially if $annoying_coworker continues to pop into my office to stare at me and giggle whenever I open my mouth. I thought about throwing my new SwinglineTM stapler at her. It's smooth and has a satisfying heft. I really didn't want to have to explain to iGrrrl why there's blood on the floor of our office, though, or that we were going to have to find someone else to do $annoying_coworker's job. I also didn't want to damage my new stapler.


I'm watching one of the animal cop shows on Animal Planet. Every time I watch one of these shows, I want to adopt every abandoned and abused critter that shows up. I want them even more if they're like, missing a limb, too. Doggie's in little wheelchairs? I'd be all over it. Of course, every time a sad dog cries on TV, Teh Dawg looks at the screen, tilts her head and whines. Yeah, Dawg, I wanna help them, too.

My two older cats, Simon and Sasha, are curled up together in the recliner. They've been best buds since I brought Sasha home, pretty much. Sasha is by far the smartest cat I have. She opens cabinets, does interpretive dances that are remarkably communicative, and has now learned that dead bird and other meat comes out of the microwave when it beeps.

We use our microwave almost exclusively to defrost meat, especially chicken. Sasha waits until it beeps and then turns around and around on the radiator cover next to it until one of us opens the door. She then attempts to crawl in to get the meat. If she's thwarted in her quest, she tries to lick our fingers while pushing the hand working the buttons to get her ears skritched.

Simon is the fat one with white and gray fur; Sasha the gray tabby:

Attention Kellnerin Infidel!

Today's Boston Herald headline: "Cops Grill Bar Tough." I'm thinking Brainfarmer is right:
1. Pick 4 nouns.
2. Print paper.
3. ???
4. Profit!

Attention ad hoc Infidel!

Yesterday, at church, I asked the nice photography lady if there was a picture of the Tree of Life on the base of the rood hanging high above the crossing. There wasn't, that she knew of, but even though I told her I wanted to turn it into a tattoo, she apparently went after Mass to take some pictures for me. So this is what I want for my new tattoo:

I want to get this on my upper arm, branches wrapped around kind of where the contour of my muscle is used to be. Do you think there's a tattoo artist in this town who can do that sort of detail? I want someone with a very light touch, more so than with my current tattoo. I think I'm going to want it in the black and gray, though, to match:

Okay, enough fun for tonight. Time to get back to work for a couple of hours.

< Snakes on a Plane: Boarding Pass | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Randomness. | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden)
It's a nice stapler by iGrrrl (4.00 / 2) #1 Mon Mar 06, 2006 at 05:40:10 PM EST
Don't mess it up.
"I honestly pity the stupid motherfucker who tries to talk down to iGrrrl" - mrgoat
Ok, boss. by toxicfur (4.00 / 1) #2 Mon Mar 06, 2006 at 05:45:12 PM EST
But $annoying_coworker had better be thankful that it's such a nice stapler.
damn it, lif eis actually really *far4 too good at tghe momnent, shboyukbnt;t whilen. --Dr Thrustgood
[ Parent ]
Hey $coworker... by ana (4.00 / 1) #3 Mon Mar 06, 2006 at 05:46:27 PM EST
This is a stapler. Stick your finger in and I'll show you how it works.

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM

[ Parent ]
Once, by ni (4.00 / 3) #4 Mon Mar 06, 2006 at 06:11:33 PM EST
when I was 14 and volunteering at a local ISP, I found myself bored and sitting on the receptionists desk. I discovered that it was sort of fun to place my hand in the stapler and flick it up, such that it bounced up and down on its spring.

As is inevitable when one has painted a scene like this, I slipped off the desk. Or rather, most of my slipped off the desk -- the hand in the middle of the stapler did not. Reflexes did what they will, and I instinctively tried to balance myself on the one hand that seemed steady. A head wrapped into a stapler.

Five seconds later there was blood spattered over the walls and floor, and I was rolling on the floor, laughing like a lunatic. It was painful, but even more than being painful it was hilarious. It was such an obvious, stupid, inevitable thing to have happen. It was so fucking predictable!

People offered to take me to the hospital, but I just put a few band-aids on it and went home. If I end up dying from that, I thought, it's evolution.

Think metahistorically, act locally. -- CheeseburgerBrown

[ Parent ]
"Steady demand for Staples" by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #7 Tue Mar 07, 2006 at 07:43:57 AM EST
was one of the headlines on the elevator screen this afternoon. So I guess a lot of people are needing ammosupplies for just this kind of demonstration.

"Slick Loons Cow Stumbling Readers."toxicfur
[ Parent ]
toxicfur infidel ... by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #5 Mon Mar 06, 2006 at 06:13:03 PM EST
I was going to diarize that very headline! (I can show you my notebook where I jotted it down as proof ...) It's classic, though I think I like yours better -- both the sigged one below and the one from Sunday. There's more to it than picking random nouns, though. The real trick is that every word can serve as more than one part of speech. That's genius, of a sort.

"Slick Loons Cow Stumbling Readers."toxicfur
animal cop shows by jimgon (4.00 / 1) #6 Tue Mar 07, 2006 at 03:12:08 AM EST
My daughter is a very interesting character.  She actually checks ratings on shows and asks if she can watch them if they are non-G.  Well, she likes Animal Planet a lot.  These cop shows are about the only thing that she has an interest in that we don't allow her to watch.  Most are okay, but the animals on these shows are just so horribly abused I'm afraid she'll have nightmares for weeks. 

Technician - "We can't even get decent physical health care. Mental health is like witchcraft here."
Tatto artist by molasses (2.00 / 0) #8 Tue Mar 07, 2006 at 05:32:59 PM EST
I know portland is far, but you can come here and come to my woman; she's amazing and spiritual and stuff.  here's her site:

if you look under "tattoos" you'll see the mariyln monroe on the right and scroll down to the baby pic in the sun - both of those are friends of mine (seperate people).  Mine's not on the site, but i think you'd really like her.

Also, if you look at the main site, go to chris's page and look at the black and white tats.  I've never seen them in person, but they look amazing!

I mean, it's not like there are any tattoo artists in the barren town of Boston or anything....

just a thought.  :)

Thanks for the link! by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #9 Wed Mar 08, 2006 at 02:07:19 AM EST
I'll definitely check them out. It's worth it to me to get the very best person, and if that means driving to Portland, I will.
damn it, lif eis actually really *far4 too good at tghe momnent, shboyukbnt;t whilen. --Dr Thrustgood
[ Parent ]
Randomness. | 9 comments (9 topical, 0 hidden)