This Week In Puppies Visiting Me

Until last Thursday, I was puppysitting for Map. I babbled about him before, but here he is after I woke him up. I was always waking the little dude up. That's because he was pretty much always sleeping. I wish I got as much sleep as that furry little bastard.

Friday night, I had to forego plans to go up to the lake with Her Royal Highness, as Saturday morning, my coworker, ${coworker} was bringing over her puppy for me to watch until Tuesday. Currently, I have a gigantic bundle of white fur laying on the floor next to me.

Pretty impressive, eh? ${OfficeDoggie} is the Perfect Walking Dog; she does her business right away, walks at a brisk pace, and pays no attention to distractions. Puppies can walk by, and she won't even lift her gaze from the straight path ahead of her. Little kids pass her, and she can't be arsed to give them a second thought. Walk, walk, walk! Gotta keep walking!

Sunday, lmfB and I took her for a 3 mile walk up to lmfB's old Starbucks, then we sat in the courtyard area adjacent to it, and little kid after little kid came up, usually with parents who sheepishly asked if it was alright if their kids pet "my" dog. ${OfficeDoggie} is a total sweetheart, and loves being pet, and the softness and plentitude of her fur makes her an ideal pettin' doggie. "Your dog soft!" "Your doggie is very pretty!" Well, she's not my dog, and, while it's great she was getting all the petting, it became a little annoying after a while. lmfB and I were busy arguing about crap, only to be interrupted every 5 minutes by yet another 3 year old, asking to pet the nice doggie.

Also, ${OfficeDoggie} was dead tired by the time we got back. A grand total of six miles of walking may have been a little much in the 70 degree weather for someone wearing a gigantic, puffy fur coat. Live and learn, live and learn.

Oh, and the day prior, she finally barked. Her bark is really pretty quiet; quiet enough that she could bark all day in the apartment, and never disturb the neighbors. She started the barking and speaking after I started singing a made-up-on-the-spot song about going to the lake. Call and response! She is an excellent musical partner, and I hope to do more duets with her later today. Here's some video of it all:

We're going to the lake
We're gonna take a dump
We're gonna take a walk
Maybe watch some ducks
Also eat some grubs

Work Heh

From my "task list":

To do:

• script backup of ${particularDomain} email
• investimagate mail server options
• regular job stuff

From ${newIdiotBigBoss}'s response email:

Mohammed,

you forgot this:

plan postfix + mailman + webmail replacement of Communigate

Actually, no, dude. I didn't forget that. Had you read all three items on my task list, you would know that. Conveniently enough, ALL THREE ITEMS WERE IN THE QUOTED TEXT RIGHT UNDER YOUR RETARDED REPLY! If you're not going to bother reading before you reply, I'm not going to bother replying to your replies. Come to think of it, I'm not going to bother reading your replies. This should save me at least 10 minutes a week.

It is for this reason that I have implemented a filter that automatically sends all mail from ${newIdiotBigBoss} directly to the trash. Perhaps I should implement this on the server side, so as to save bandwidth for everyone who gets annoying pointless emails from him, by simply sending all his outgoing mail directly to /dev/null. I mean, is there really a reason for us to waste valuable Internet resources echoing what passes as thoughts in his brain? I think not.

${coworker_developer} loaned me a book he picked up about project management by Scott Berkun. I'm not reading it cover-to-cover, but, rather, skipping around at will. Most of it seems like common sense, but the "Things Not To Do" chapter reads like a documentary of ${newIdiotBigBoss}'s management style. Pretty impressive! If there's something to do that can be done wrong, he'll do it.

This Week In Battlestar Galactica

So Cally is having a baby with that domestic-abusing asshole, and total fucking Communist, Galen Tyrol, eh? Well, fuck her, and fuck him, too.

This Week In Animals on the Internet

• Cat fight!
• Pug Lifeguard!
• What goes on UNDER THE BED!
• Panda babies on a playground!

This Week In Mistaken Mass Media Identity

Saturday afternoon, I watched Fahrenheit 451, a classic film by Michael Moore about how "President" Bush secretly runs the firefighting industry with his COBOL of BOOKBURNING NEO-CONS, hell-bent on imposing their New Zionist World Order on all sorts of hot, bookish, British women named Julie Christie who were raised by Tea Slavery Overlords in India, then grew up to date Guardian "reporters".

In watching the credits for the film, I spotted one Cyril Cusack, who I mistakenly thought played the role of Guy Montag. Thinking that he looked a staggering lot like John Cusack, I was heartbroken to find out that 1) they weren't related, and 2) the dude I thought was Cyril Cusack was actually Oskar Werner. This makes the visual similarity JUST PLAIN CRAZY: Check it.

Oskar Werner vs. John Cusack

OK, maybe I'm on crack.

Samantha Brown told me something yesterday

She said that bouillabaisse in Marseilles costs fifty Euros. Fifty fucking Euros, for soup? Holy mother of fuck, that soup better be topped with SOLID FUCKING GOLD...

Also, according to the Internet, Samantha Brown is a Cow Hampshirian. Color me impressed! So there is more than LL Bean and cows from that place!

And now, POOPS!