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Print Story Why Apple Should Be Destroyed.
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By blixco (Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 11:42:32 AM EST) apple, mac, pictures, funny, fun loving cowwqas. (all tags)
Hidden screws.

Understand that I have a new top and bottom case for Dr L's 12-inch powerbook, because someone in her lab bent her computer.  It still works, it was just sort of bent....not bad, but it wouldn't close.  So I got a new top and bottom case, and the bottom case for a 12" powerbook is actually more difficult to find than any single object in the entire world.  Understand that I purchased, for $10, a takedown manual.  Understand that the directions for the takedown included key phrases such as "once the screws are removed, pull up the top right and left corner, and continue to smoothly pull.  The entire top case (and keyboard) will pull off the bottom case."  Understand that I have taken apart somewhere between six and eight hundred notebook computers over the course of my life, and have the right tools and the right mind-set.  Understand that I was prepared for the worst by my previous foray into my own iBook, a case-cracking that proved nearly disasterous as I found another sixty screws that weren't in the manual.  And finally, take a look at the pictures, which show what was the final solution after cutting, bending, and destroying both upper and lower cases: you have to break the keyboard off of the keyboard tray via three mounts that are not screws, fasteners, or snaps.  They are rivets.  You must destroy the keyboard to open the case.  Between the hidden screws (once you've broken the keyboard off from the top case, there are about sixty screws to recover) and the use of clips on non-flexible case components, the machine itself was never, ever intended to be opened up without Apple's secret manuals.  Estimate for repair, before I started blowing it up: $800 plus shipping for new cases + labor, with a one-week turnaround.  Estimate for repair now that i have it apart: I need a new optical drive, a keyboard and one wiring harness, plus the case cost, so $250-ish.

In the meantime, we went out today and bought her a new 12" powerbook at Frys for $1350, and it has a DVD burner.  So she's happier.  And me?  I just want to laugh.  Because...well, christ, look at the fucking pictures!

NEAT, HUH?

Update [2006-2-25 17:42:10 by blixco]: These guys rock, here's the perfect takedown manual plus a screw guide for free.

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Why Apple Should Be Destroyed. | 31 comments (31 topical, 0 hidden)
Update: by blixco (2.00 / 0) #1 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 12:15:48 PM EST
between F1 and F2, and F11 and F12, there is access (screws?  de-rivet-er?) to the keyboard attachment.

This is in an updated-for-DVI-model takedown manual.

Anyone seeing this via google: pop the keys (be careful!) on F1, F2, F11 and F12.  Then, good luck.  Because it looks like you still just jam something in there and pry it out.

New / used keyboards on ebay are about $60.  It's almost worth it to have destroyed the fucking thing.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

dude... by clock (4.00 / 1) #14 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 06:17:13 PM EST
...yeah.  pop f1 f2 and f11 and f12...then peel up the stickers that hide the screws (those fuckers) and you're home free.  i tore mine down three times to replace the dvd and then the hd.  it was all good.  the link you just added showed me "the way."

but your pictures are better than mine.


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
Well, by blixco (4.00 / 1) #21 Sun Feb 26, 2006 at 08:00:28 AM EST
the sticker covered a piece of membrane on my keyboard.  I had to dig to the screw.

It's a lot of fun to destroy something so perfect, though.  Seriously.  All it needs now is the keyboard ($60 from ebay) and I'm on my way.  And the wife, who couldn't wait for the new keyboard, has another 12" powerbook that we picked up for $1300.  I transferred her old stuff over to it yesterday via an external firewire enclosure and a 2.5" to standard IDE adapter for the old drive.

All told, it's a win-win-win, since I may be selling / sending this ibook to CBB once I get the powerbook together.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
f'n sweet! by clock (4.00 / 1) #24 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 04:37:06 AM EST
a win-win-win! 


I agree with clock entirely --Kellnerin

[ Parent ]
(Comment Deleted) by yicky yacky (4.00 / 4) #2 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 12:23:25 PM EST

This comment has been deleted by yicky yacky



rivets?? by MillMan (4.00 / 1) #3 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 12:55:27 PM EST
How...barbaric.

I never really considered face-to-face contact a possible thing. -CRwM

Screws by blixco (4.00 / 1) #6 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 01:00:22 PM EST
in most models.  I dunno what the hell they were on this.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
I'd mock you by Rogerborg (4.00 / 1) #4 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 12:57:50 PM EST
But it turns out that there are some things so obvious that even I won't touch them.

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Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
It was fun. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #5 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 12:59:57 PM EST
See, I have replacement bits.  So why not destroy the thing?

I just didn't realize that the keyboard would need to be broken.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
No... by Rogerborg (4.00 / 2) #15 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 10:12:39 PM EST
No, I'm still not touching it.  You keep rationalising.

-
Metus amatores matrum compescit, non clementia.
[ Parent ]
No, you're right. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #19 Sun Feb 26, 2006 at 06:21:12 AM EST
The keyboard was my loss.  Cost me $60 on ebay.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
Damnit! by grendel (4.00 / 1) #7 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 01:17:15 PM EST
I want to help! I'll be there in about twenty hours with my cricket bat and a bottle of Powers. We'll teach Apple a thing or two.

Given by edward (4.00 / 2) #8 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 02:30:29 PM EST
that the takedown is available from pbfixit.com for free and is very detailed, and the fact that the requisite  F-keys still exist on that keyboard, I'm going to say that what really happened here is that you happened to have a PowerBook, baseball bat, and back spasm together in the same vicinity, at the same time.

Given the pain, I figure taking down a shiny Apple gadget with a baseball bat is probably fair karmic recompense.

Can you turn this into a once-a-week sort of deal? Maybe do a bondi iMac next?

I totally by blixco (2.00 / 0) #9 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 03:26:35 PM EST
didn't see the pbfixit guides, but my keyboard didn't have accessible screws.  You'd have had to 1) pop the keys off, 2) take a knife to the underlying membrane, 3) cut away another thin film of plastic and 4) shive the screwdriver in at an angle.

So ripping it the fuck out was a much more fun alternative.

And yeah, I'll find an old iMac and do it next!
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
The by ana (2.00 / 0) #10 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 03:41:26 PM EST
little clip thingies on an iMac keyboard are actually exposed. It's a user-replaceable part.

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM

[ Parent ]
er by ana (2.00 / 0) #11 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 03:43:39 PM EST
iBook, i mean.

Can you introspect out loud? --CRwM

[ Parent ]
On an iBook, yes. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #12 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 03:45:29 PM EST
On a powerbook, no.
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Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
You, sir, by zarathus (4.00 / 1) #13 Sat Feb 25, 2006 at 03:51:05 PM EST
are a madman. M*A*D (and so on)

And I salute you.

----------
Blogger - n. Someone with nothing to say writing for someone with nothing to do.

I gotta' tell ya, by blixco (2.00 / 0) #23 Sun Feb 26, 2006 at 09:23:14 AM EST
it is huge fun to destroy the likes of an apple product.  I think my iPod is next.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
Fock! by CheeseburgerBrown (4.00 / 2) #16 Sun Feb 26, 2006 at 04:27:34 AM EST
And I was just about to try this on my 15" titanium PowerBook, which Littlestar managed to crank apart during an exciting moment the other day.

I'm giving the machine to my brother for his birthday (which is today, along with mine), so I felt shitty about the thoroughlly smooted case. I've been pawing through eBay looking at replacement cases.

Now I'm not sure what to do. Fock!


I am from a small, unknown country in the north called Ca-na-da. We are a simple, grease-loving people who enjoy le weekend de ski.
(Comment Deleted) by yicky yacky (4.00 / 2) #17 Sun Feb 26, 2006 at 04:30:16 AM EST

This comment has been deleted by yicky yacky



[ Parent ]
Check out that link. by blixco (4.00 / 1) #18 Sun Feb 26, 2006 at 06:20:31 AM EST
In my case, the stupid screws were hidden, so I need a new keyboard.  In your case, check out the link and the screws will not be hidden!  Plus their takedown guides ahve screw guides.

It'll be perfect.  Don't worry.  Just make sure you have the right tools.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
Frohes Gebürtstag, Mathieu! by ammoniacal (4.00 / 1) #20 Sun Feb 26, 2006 at 07:18:07 AM EST

"To this day that was the most bullshit caesar salad I have every experienced..." - triggerfinger

[ Parent ]
Happy birthday! (nt) by ucblockhead (2.00 / 0) #22 Sun Feb 26, 2006 at 08:50:46 AM EST

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[ucblockhead is] useless and subhuman
[ Parent ]
Happy Birthday! by 606 (2.00 / 0) #28 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:33:09 AM EST
[nt]

-----
imagine dancing banana here
[ Parent ]
Dear Mr Blixco by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #25 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 05:58:16 AM EST
I hear that you are the Husi Apple after sales rep. My iPod's battery is flat and I'd like to replace it please. I have checked in the manual but cannot find any reference to which type of battery it takes. I also cannot find the battery compartment so cannot check myself. Was wondering what I should do next?

Ta muchly in advance
yours &c
Dr H

Lucky for you by blixco (2.00 / 0) #26 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 06:03:36 AM EST
the situation is quite easy to solve!

First things first: set the iPod down on the gound, preferably along the right edge.

Now, get yourself a pair of hockey skates.

ut the skates on, and jump onto the iPod.  You should aim the razor sharp blades of the skates along the invisible seam that connects the two halves of the iPod.  You will also split the internals in two.

One this is complete, throw the iPod away and buy an iRiver U10.
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco

[ Parent ]
Mr Blixco by Dr H0ffm4n (4.00 / 1) #27 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 06:12:11 AM EST
Thanks for your prompt response. Unfortunately I would like to continue to use Apple products because:
a) I am an idiot
b) All of my music on the iPod is stored on my PC in a proprietary format that only Apple products can use.
c) Steve Jobs is lovely.

I guess I'll just have to rush out and buy the latest and greatest iPod portable video media centre and replace all of my accessories too as they will no longer be compatible either.

Thanks a lot Mr Blixco for your help.

Yours in lobotomised brand loyalty
Dr H

[ Parent ]
My god man by 606 (4.00 / 1) #29 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:33:58 AM EST
Just... my God.

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imagine dancing banana here
If I'll do that by blixco (4.00 / 1) #30 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 10:35:10 AM EST
to an innocent powerbook, then just guess what I'd do to anyone who crosses my path!
---------------------------------
Taken out of context I must seem so strange - Ani DiFranco
[ Parent ]
Oh right... by 606 (4.00 / 1) #31 Mon Feb 27, 2006 at 02:12:35 PM EST
reminds me I'd better send you that CD. But, you know, better not put a return address on it. For safety purposes.

-----
imagine dancing banana here
[ Parent ]
Why Apple Should Be Destroyed. | 31 comments (31 topical, 0 hidden)

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