Print Story Cocktails? Cocktails?
Wizards and Hobbits
By Bob Abooey (Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 06:02:32 AM EST) Super High Tech Jet Fighters (all tags)
The B.A.D.TM

Blogging a bridge to a better tomorrow...



Yes, hello.

Lordy loo, where does the time go? And for that matter, does anybody *really* know what time it is?

I'm back from my vacation, as you may have surmised, and feeling quite well, thank you very much. My pile of fires that awaited me was actually much smaller than usual, thanks be to God, and I'm pretty much all caught up on stuff, which makes me happy. Happy happy happy. But enough of that, lets get on with the Las Vegas Study Group Commission report.

Well, what's there to say. I mean, sin citee baby! And we all know what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, plus there's the matter of that open investigation which I'm not allowed to talk about, but I can talk, with no fear of retribution, in generalities. Right.

First off, lets talk about the cocktail waitresses, namely Roxy. Hoofa. Nuff said. Then of course there were the two "devil" shooter girls, dressed in skin tight red leather "Devil" "outfits" who walked around with holsters containing some sort of alcohol which they dispensed shots of, to the sad-sack drunken sots who were donating their mortgage money to the casino. Really, quite honestly, I found that to be on one hand the most despicable act of taking advantage of people, and on the other hand the most brilliant method of generating profits that one can think of. As I don't drink, nor do I have a mortgage to lose, they didn't affect me at all, other than making my brain melt down as I leered at them every time they sauntered past me. Crikey.

Meanwhile the casinos themselves I found to be smelly (a nice mix of heinous cigarette smoke, stale alcohol and various body odours) and downright depressing. Lots of unkempt poorly dressed middle aged loosers wandering around or staring vapidly at slot machines while they whap the "donate max bet" button over and over and over. If it wasn't for the half nekkid cocktail waitresses I don't think I could spend more than 15 minutes in a casino without the urge to hang myself. Repeatedly.

The hotels though, were quite another thing. I'm not easily impressed but I was quite amazed by several of the hotels, like Caesars Palace, and MGM and New York New York. I can't imagine the zillions of dollars it took to build those. Amazing.

We partook in a couple comedy shows, seeing three guys (can't remember their names though they were quite funny) at the Tropicana, then we saw The Amazing Jonathan at the Sahara, who was right hiliarious. Silly. Funny in a very silly way, but gut bustingly funny all the same. We got front row seats for that one (despite my pleading to be put in the back) but it worked out fine as we took very little abuse. Anyways, he's worth the ticket price twice over. We also went down to Fremont Street which was cool. Lots of street performers and bands and stuff. That's a must see if'n you ever go there.

Then we rented a FORD Mini Van (crapy crapola - NO LEG ROOM - even for a midget like me) with this cool GPS gizmo in it and took off for the desert. We saw some really cool parks, like Red Rocks and The Valley of Fire, plus some old ghost towns and body-drops for the mob etc etc. Truth be told I enjoyed the desert more than the vaunted strip. I felt a real connection with the old time cowboys of the past.

Shew. Okay, blah blah blah, I've typed enough for now.

< bookbookbook | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
Cocktails? Cocktails? | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden)
Did you have a good time by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #1 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 06:08:45 AM EST
Sounds like we both sized up casinos the same way re: clientelle and atmosphere. Though I didn't drop dime on the drink-girls. My wife made a comment about the massive amounts of sillicone to be found there, and how it couldn't be all the costume that had boobs hanging out right and left. Just don't look too closely, you might get a fright.

I'm surprised you enjoyed the desert. Where'd you go ? See Hoover dam too ? The drive from Vegas to Grand Canyon was just miles of desolation. There were a few ghost towns (that you had to turn off onto dirt roads to get to), but we weren't feeling that adventurous.

Oh it was fun by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 06:50:44 AM EST
Fer Shure.

The Waitresses at the various casinos were wearing different outfits, but the one that Roxy was wearing, for instance, had one of those bustier miracle cleavage type "tops" that scrunch the boobies all up and make them look big. Not that she needed it though. Some of the dumpy places had some old frumpy waitresses who looked nasty, but the 5 star places all had smokin hotties from what I saw.

We didn't make the Grand Canyon trip, I wasn't going to pay $300 clams for a helicopter trip and it's too long to drive.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
tell us about the new wife! by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 4) #2 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 06:13:39 AM EST
we're all dying to know!

Roxy will be creating an account soon by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 07:08:35 AM EST
She'll fill you in on all the details. As soon as she's done running the vacuum and mending my socks and whatnot.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
I'd like to go to Vegas by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #3 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 06:21:37 AM EST
I'd like to go to Vegas and walk out into the desert, swigging from a bottle of whisky.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

Have at it! by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #9 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 07:00:36 AM EST
They don't seem to care if you wander around swigging from a whiskey bottle.

The desert is badass pardner, so you best take your GPS gizmo, just like the old wild wild west cowboys did. Or else you could end up getting lost and eaten by some wild desert wolf or donkey or something.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
I'd probably need some water as well by nebbish (2.00 / 0) #10 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 07:02:42 AM EST
Soda water I mean, to go with the whisky.

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It's political correctness gone mad!

[ Parent ]
There's a desert in Nevada? by thenick (4.00 / 2) #13 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 07:43:10 AM EST
I thought the entire state was tract housing by now.

 
----------------------------

"'Vengence is Mine', quoth Alvis. And then he shot the guy, right in the freaking face!"

[ Parent ]
I felt the same way about the casinos by georgeha (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 06:24:03 AM EST
in Atlantic City.


Yeah by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 07:04:06 AM EST
I have no desire to go back to a casino, but I'd go back to Vegas to see some shows and the desert again.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
soon by dev trash (2.00 / 0) #16 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 02:26:59 PM EST
You will be able to enjoy the same crap here in PA.

--
Blizzard of Death '06
[ Parent ]
Glad to see you made it back in one piece . . . by slozo (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 06:34:45 AM EST
 . . . but you never mentioned - did you gamble? and if so, how much did you lose?

Yes and Yes by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 06:52:50 AM EST
Thanks to a miracle comeback (including some wins at the airport on the way home) I ended up down about $150 clams. One of my buddies lost $800 clams, he's more of a retard gambler than I am. He was rather bummed out about it all too.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Well, that's not too bad at all . . . by slozo (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 06:56:59 AM EST
. . . you got lucky at the end, like you said. I have heard from many about the airport, where you are going home almost even or even up, and get on the plane having lost it all. Damn post 9/11 aiport waiting times . . .

[ Parent ]
Valley of Fire by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #14 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 07:54:16 AM EST
One of the Star Trek movies, the one where Kirk bites the big one, was filmed there.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

I can see why by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #15 Wed Dec 06, 2006 at 08:18:44 AM EST
It was pretty cool in an "alien planet" sort of way.

The rocks aren't real rocks either, more like sandstone. I was thinking they were actually eggs containing alien lifeforms that are going to hatch then go on to take over the world.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Cocktails? Cocktails? | 16 comments (16 topical, 0 hidden)