Print Story I bet your mama was a tent show queen
Wizards and Hobbits
By Bob Abooey (Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 06:44:16 AM EST) Super High Tech Jet Fighters (all tags)
The B.A.D.TM

Takin it to the Streets since 1978...



I'm thinking of putting together a conference to investigate the claim that trolling the Internet never really happened. Frankly I think it's a liberal myth, and if we can get some of the top Internet minds (georgeha, DesiredUserName, StreetLawyer, Jack Wagner, etc etc) together to hash it over I think we'll find that to be the truth. I propose we all meet at some swanky Hotel in Zurich where we can be unfettered from media harassment, allowing us to focus on nothing but the facts at hand.

Speaking of the truth, HEY, it's only 12 more shopping days until Christmas!! I'm not real sure what to do regarding my 217 year old Grandfather. Now that he's in The Last Stop Retirement Community buying him something is even more tricky than it was in the past. Maybe some big floppy wool socks? Who wouldn't love to get that for Christmas? Or maybe a fifth of Jack Daniels Black Label? Or maybe a pony?

Regardless of what I decide I'm going to sally forth during lunch to get some Christmas Cards. I figure Gramps will like to get one from me, I imagine it's fun to get mail when you're in the the Old Folks Home. Plus I need to send one to my niece and nephew, along with some cash jammed inside to purchase their continued love and admiration of Uncle Bob.

Well okay then. It's time to do 10 minutes of work or I'll get behind for the week.

< Top Secret: FUBAR | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >
I bet your mama was a tent show queen | 17 comments (17 topical, 0 hidden)
I think the best present would be . . . by slozo (4.00 / 1) #1 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 06:59:51 AM EST
. . . spending some time with him, Bob. You know, listen to his stories, talk about things that interest him, learn something about him you didn't know before - QUALITY time.

'Cause that's really the gift that'll keep him all warm and fuzzy

Frankly, by DullTrev (2.00 / 0) #2 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 07:03:29 AM EST

That's a pretty one sided definition of "quality".


--
DFJ?
[ Parent ]
I dunno by theantix (4.00 / 1) #10 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 08:25:26 AM EST
I'm with slozo -- getting to spend time with Bob is #1 on my own xmas wishlish.
____________________________________
I'm sorry, but your facts disagree with my opinion.
[ Parent ]
Awesome. by skippy (2.00 / 0) #11 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 08:37:34 AM EST
Now I know what to get you.  If only Bob would cooperate...

[ Parent ]
two words: by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #14 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 11:21:35 AM EST
tranquilizer gun.
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Dance On, Gir!
[ Parent ]
You have to find me first! by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #16 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 11:28:17 AM EST
For all you know I'm a 19 year old girl living in Montana!

BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Heh by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #3 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 07:09:10 AM EST
I'll spend time with him on Christmas, but quite frankly I've heard every story so many times I can quote them verbatim. I can honestly say out of all his grandkids I've done my grandkidian duty more than all the others. He knows that too.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
make it a double feature! by dr k (2.00 / 0) #12 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 09:05:58 AM EST
Choose two movies from the following list:
  • Chinatown
  • Big Fish
  • The Prince of Tides
  • Kinsey
Afterwards maybe Gramps will let you in on that big family secret you've heard so much about.

:| :| :| :| :|

[ Parent ]
excellent idea by martingale (2.00 / 0) #17 Thu Dec 14, 2006 at 03:02:00 AM EST
But make sure you don't watch
* Mrs Doubtfire
* Tootsie

--
$E(X_t|F_s) = X_s,\quad t > s$
[ Parent ]
Gift for gramps. by blixco (2.00 / 0) #4 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 07:09:14 AM EST
My grandparents are getting Texas BBQ from New Braunfels smokehouse (nbsmokehouse.com).

Now my dad?  My dad gets a bottle of Old Sock(tm) and a copy of Frankie and Anette's Beach Party Swingfest on DVD.
---------------------------------
I accidentally had a conversation in italian at lunchtime. I don't speak italian. - Merekat

StreetLawyer by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #5 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 07:19:34 AM EST
Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?

In re: Gift for gramps: A fifth of Jack Daniels Black Label would probably be appreciated, along with some roofies so he can get some of the hot grandmas in the place into the sack.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

Heh... by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #6 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 07:27:14 AM EST
Sadly after that prostrate issue some 20 years ago, well, that pretty much spelled the end of Gramps ability to "plow the field" IYKWIM.

But the Jack, well, I know Gramps did enjoy a drink after dinner (he wasn't much of a drinker beyond that) but I seem to recall he's not supposed to drink any alcohol as it conflicts with about 70 of the meds he's on. Sure sucks to get old.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
sucks to get old by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #8 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 07:39:29 AM EST
Beats the hell out of the alternative.*

* Dying young, that is.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)

[ Parent ]
Oh yeah - StreetLawyer by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #7 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 07:29:25 AM EST
I suspect that was an alias he used for the purpose of trolling. I'll bet dmg knows who he really is.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
Not Switzerland. by Breaker (4.00 / 1) #9 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 07:50:18 AM EST
I believe they have draconian anti-troll denial laaws there.  You really need somewhere that free speech is welcomed on this contentious issue, perhaps Afghanistan?

re: streetlayer - apparently he got promoted at work and no longer had time to post to the intarwebs.  I still wonder if he took a mistress or not though.


That's the problem by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #15 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 11:26:57 AM EST
All the really bright trolls end up getting real jobs where they aren't allowed to piss about on the Internet for 8 hours a day.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

[ Parent ]
top internet minds by StackyMcRacky (4.00 / 1) #13 Wed Dec 13, 2006 at 09:22:49 AM EST
I think you need to make sure OOG_THE_CAVEMAN is there, just for an old skool perspective.

Man, I miss that guy.

I bet your mama was a tent show queen | 17 comments (17 topical, 0 hidden)